


Sick

by Dulltat_Kim



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abduction, Acceptance, Angst, Baby Park Jimin (BTS), Boy Love, Denial, Depression, Gay, Hurt, Husbands, In-Laws, Kidnapping, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Mentioned Bangtan Boys | BTS Member(s), Parents Kim Namjoon | RM & Kim Seokjin | Jin, Park Jimin (BTS) is a Sweetheart, Romance, Uncle kookie, a hell of a lot of angst, cruel world, heart ache, namjin - Freeform, soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 44
Words: 46,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulltat_Kim/pseuds/Dulltat_Kim
Summary: We're happily married, we have a kid, what could possibly go wrong?In which Kim Namjoon and his husband; Seokjin raise their adopted child; Jimin. An unfortunate circumstance occurs and affects their daily lives forever... Read to find out more!This book contains scenes that may be sensitive to some readers.DO NOT copy my work
Relationships: NamJin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Sick

Chapter 1

It's still, I'm content as I lay in bed. My comfy pajamas hugged my body carefully and I stared at the ceiling aimlessly. Do I want to go to work tomorrow? What should I have for breakfast? I mean it is a Sunday tomorrow, so technically I can take a day off.

My train of though is interrupted momentarily as I'm hugged tighter.

Not by my jammies but by the human lying next to me. He shifts his weight in his sleep and turns his head to face me. I can't help but stare.

Beautiful.

That's what comes to my mind. His mouth is slightly ajar but that only makes him even more adorable.

He shifts again making a faint noise and allowing his smooth silky light brown hair to fall in front of his face. 'Hmpt'. I reach over carefully and push it out of his eyes. He stirs slightly but doesn't wake up. A small cough escapes his lips and he moves again. This time he messily places his body onto my chest unconsciously.

Cute, even in his sleep!

I think back at how freaking lucky I considered myself to have him. He was my one and only honestly.

Myself at 26 and him resting on 27 we were still going strong. A relationship formed on pure attraction and maybe one or two bold hook ups behind his parents' backs. The memories make me nostalgic. Good times from our late teenage years, wild to be more precise.

He coughs again, this time a little louder. It shakes my body in the process. I hope he wasn't coming down with something. He didn't feel hot or anything. He coughs again, this time, waking himself up in the process, he covers his mouth and raises his body up, sitting on the bed.

"Are you okay?" I ask as I turn on the bedside lamp. He nods and coughs some more.

"I'll go get you some water alright." I make my way downstairs and grab a bottle from the fridge, its cold so I drab some water from the kettle and mix it in is mug. As I enter out bedroom again I see him sitting at the side of the bed. I walk up to him just as he coughs again. He quickly placed his hand over him hand again and tries to control himself. I hand him the mug, he takes it and tries to drink from it but fails. His coughs get louder and throatier. He spills a little bit of the water as his body shakes even more. I take the mug back and rub his back.

This is weird, is he coming down with something? The coughing continues, it's even louder now.

"Breathe baby, breathe." he takes a slow and careful breath and it seems to subside. I hand him the water again and he drinks it slowly but doesn't finish as another wave of coughs erupt from his body.

I take his hand and pull him up opening the door and leading him to the veranda to get some air. He sits on one of the fancy outdoor chair and ducks his head down trying to control his breathing.

"Baby are you okay, what's wrong?" I ask, I'm worried at this point.

"I don't know Joonie." he breathes.

"Look at me, it's probably a tickle or your throat's dry, drink some more water and take a long breath." I instruct.

He does as he's told. It quiet for a while. I smile and we go back to bed.

The clock on the table reads [2 am].

"My head hurts." he says as he climbs into bed. He lays down again and I start massaging his head softly as he lays on my chest again. "What do you wanna do tomorrow? Are you going to work?" he asks, his once gentle voice from a few minutes turned hoarse from all that coughing. Still adorable in my point of view though.

I can't help but chuckle.

"What?" he asks lifting his head to look at me

"Nothing, you just sound funny." "Ack, how dare you?" he says pouting.

"What!?" I say defensively."It's cute and kind of hot at the same time." his frown dissolves instantly turning into a shy expression, a blush coating his cheeks. He really is too cute!

"Aww, still blushing at my compliments after all these years." I tease.

"Shut up. You're so frustratingly weird sometimes." he accuses and goes back to resting on my chest with a hard thump making me skip a breath. "Does your head still hurt?"

"Yes. I think it's getting worst. I hope I'm not getting the flu, the people at work yesterday were all sick. They shouldn't have come. This one lady, Ji Yoon, she works as the secretary for the other department and I had to go there yesterday to get something from this American intern; his name was Joshua. Sweet kid but anyway, I walked up to Ji Yoon to ask her where he sat. Do you know what she freaking did?" He asks.

I already know the answer but I didn't want to kill his buzz, I let him continue his cute rant and ask an enthusiastic 'what'.

He lifts his head, turns around rests his chin on his hands and stares at me. "She sneezed on me Namjoon! She freaking SNEEZED in my face!!!!!"

I laugh, I can't help it, the way he said it was too dramatic.

"Joon! Don't laugh you idiot! It was so disgusting!" I keep laughing and that only makes him madder. After a few seconds he stops reacting and I know I have to stop otherwise he'll go into one of his pretty fits where he gives me the cold shoulder until I make it up to him.

I call it the dog house phase cause that's what it feels like.

"Sorry Jin." I say whipping the tear from my eyes. "You're just too cute!" I tell him bluntly. He blushes again hiding his face in my chest. "Shut up, you're a dumbass. Flattery don't charge these batteries." he says sassily.

"Hah! Oh really now!?" I snake my hand tighter around his waist so he can't run.

"Seokjin you're the most adorable, perfect human I could ever have in my life. Every day is a blessing, you're existence is what I live for and you make me feel better every day, whether you're mad at me or vulnerably intoxicated by me. I'm happy being with you-" "Alright, stop it! Enough!" he tries to say strictly but it comes out flustered and muffled. He tries to escape but to no avail. I was stronger than him to compare. I smile when he does so.

"I'm happy being with you and wouldn't change anything about you, not your beautiful body, your amazing personality, your compassion, your-" "Namjoon please be quiet." he says.

A chuckle escapes from me involuntarily. I know I've won, he's weak. He shows me his face again after a few minutes, returning to his position like before with his chin on his finger knuckles.

"Do you really think all of that of me?" he asks quietly looking into my eyes. "Of course Jin." I answer instantly.

"Even after 3 years of marriage?" he states.

"Yes, even after years of commitments."

"Why?" he asks in an almost whisper. I take my other hand from behind my head and put it up against his cheek.

"Because I love you Seokjin, so much." I tell him honestly.

He leans forward batting his heavy eyelashes to a close and presses his plump lips against mine gently. I respond kissing him back. It's tender, just like him. The kiss deepens and I wrap my arm around him hoisting him up gently so that he's body is on top of mine.

"I love you too." he says as he breaks for air. His dazed self looks at me intensely if that even possible. Jin made it possible somehow.

He reconnects his lips to mine again. Smoothly gliding it across my bottom lip and biting it with his teeth begging for entrance. I allow him it. As he glides he tongue forward I feel his suddenly resistance.

He pulls away quickly, raising his body upwards making him sit up on me.

He turns to the side and covers his face as he coughs again, louder this time. I sit up as well and look him over. "Jin?" He continues to cough desperately as he gasps for air.

"Jin? What's the matter?" I ask pulling him off of me and making him sit at the edge of the bed. He shakes his head telling me he doesn't know. The coughing continues and I'm more worried than ever now. "I'll go get you some more water, alright? Try to take long breaths." I hurry downstairs and fetch a warn water bottle from the pantry. I go back up and hand him the bottle after opening it. He's still coughing.

"My head hurts so much Joonie." he says between coughs.

"Do you want some pain killers?" I ask worriedly. He nods his head as he sips the water slowly. I make my way towards our bathroom and open the cabinet taking out the bottle. I hear another wave of cough escape Jin's lungs as he goes at it again. 'This can't be good.' I return to the room to find Jin had slipped off the bed and was laying down at the slide of the bed, a hand to his face and drops of sweat on his forehead forming.

"Do you wanna go to the hospital?" I ask as he downs the pill.

"No." he shakes his head.

It's quiet for a few seconds as his breathing gets heavier. However just as soon as I go up to him and attempt to put him to bed again, he coughs! 'No, this can't be good. Is he coming down with a harsh flu or something?' I question myself. I go to rub his back but he stands up and walks to the veranda again. I follow him out. Just as he was about to step out I see him collapse, his knees giving out and he lands to the floor and the coughing starts up again.

"Jin!" Panic shoots through me and I run up to him, crouching down to try and lift him up. My efforts are stopped as I see his face. He looks terrified as he looks down. I follow his gaze and it lands on his hand, he opens it up and I nearly shoot out of my skin. His palm was splattered with blood. I look up to his face and there was blood around his mouth. Now I really begin to panic. We need to get him to the hospital now, this isn't right, what the fuck is happening? I quickly go to pick him up off the floor but he coughs again this time more blood comes out.

"Joonieee." he whimpers tiredly as if he was about to lose consciousness. It just gets louder and louder. ..

.

.

.

.

.

"Daddy?" I suddenly hear from far behind me. I recognize the voice instantly. Both of our heads spin to the door. There, standing at the door frame is our 3 and a half year old son. His face is scrunched up just like it does when he doesn't understand what's happening. He's in his pajamas, bed head apparent, a hand clutching a yellow toy and the other holding his blanket that pooled around his feet on the floor.

"Daddy what's happening?" he asks. Jin was about to say something but was interrupted again. More blood came out and he began to gasp for air. I turn to him only have my 'name' be called again "Daddy?" he says. This time worried laced within his voice like he was about to cry. "What's wrong with papa?" he asks making his way towards up trudging unevenly as he did.

"Namjoon..." Seokjin says as he grasps my arm.

"K- Keep him away, I don't want him seeing t- this." he says through the coughs.

"But-"

"Please....I- I don't want him to see this." he pleads.

I don't know what to do at that point. I should take him to the hospital. All that blood can't be good. But he wants me to prevent our son from seeing what was going on. I'm panicking and frustrated. I need to think. What do I do?

I charge to the bedside table and take my phone then I quickly walk to the little boy, picking him up and taking him to his room quickly.

"Daddy? What's wrong with papa, is he okay?" he asks quietly.

.

.

To be continued


	2. Why?

Chapter 2 (Why?)

Namjoon's pov

"Yes, he is. Jimin baby, I'm going to need you to listen to me right now, it’s important okay?" he nods rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“You’re going to go over to Mrs. Yun for a sleep over alright?”The next best thing that I could think of was to leave him with the neighbors. We’ve done it before and Mrs. Yun is very friendly.

I dial 911 and press the phone to my ear holding it in place. Quickly dashing to his closet I grab his favorite yellow jacket and sock and put it on him.

“911, what is your emergency?” the receiver says. I walk out the Jimin’s room to speak. “Yes, hello, I need an ambulance.”

“Calm down sir, what’s the emergency sir?” a lady with a calm voice says briskly. “My husband is coughing blood.” I state to her. “Please I need an ambulance quickly.”

“What is your address sir and we’ll send help.”

“13th street downtown, Apartment complex 43, apartment number 40” I say urgently into the phone.

“An ambulance has been dispatched and is ten minutes away. Please avoid moving your husband as much as possible and wait for the professionals.” I barely hear her words and mutter a quick bye hanging up.

I need to check up on Jin. Fuck! But Jimin…. I pop my head into his room and see him lying on the bed, face squished on the pillow dozing off. I sprint to our bedroom and don’t see him.

“Jin!?” I scream panicking.

No answer.

“JIN!?” I scream louder aware that I could wake up Jimin again.

I hear coughs coming from the bathroom and follow it. As I enter I see Jin bent over the sink with a rag on my mouth. The sink is messy and bloody. “Jin?” I say again. I hold his body and guide him to the bed.

“The ambulance is on its way baby, you’re going to be fine okay?” I say calmly. I take the rag he was holding and wipe his face down with it and rest him on his back.

“Where’s Jimin?” he asks concerned.

“I dressed him, he’s collapsed on the bed right now. I’ll take him to Mrs. Yun. Don’t worry about that right now."

“But-he’ll get s-“He coughs again. “-Scared, he won’t be able to sleep.”

“Jin baby, he’ll be fine. Right now we need to get you to the hospital stat.” he doesn’t look convinced “I’ll call my brother and he’ll come get him later.” I add.

He’s face turns towards me, I can see how scared he is. It breaks me into little pieces. There’s nothing I can do, I feel helpless.“What’s wrong with me Joonie?” he asks quietly. “I don’t know baby, but you’ll be fine okay? You’re going to be fine.” I lean down and kiss his forehead softly.

After a few more minutes I hear sirens. I rush to the door and the medics rush in. It was all so fast. They put him on a stretcher and carry him outside to the van. I go back and get Jimin, thankfully he’s still sleeping. I pick him up carefully making my way to the hallway.

After a few knocks, I’m greeted with the sleepy face of Mrs. Yun. She looks confused. “Namjoon?” she questions. “Yes, hi, I’m sorry to just barge in at this hour but something urgent happened and I need you to watch Jimin, please. Is that alright?” I ask already knowing my answer.

“Oh my! What happened?” she asks when she sees the paramedics rush by. “It’s Jin.” I say quietly. “Something bad happened.” Her face falls. I’m less than surprised. Mrs.Yun loves Jin. She’s a little old but sweet.She has always loved him, ever since we moved in next door she’s been super friendly and always in our faces with baked goods. Jin took a quick liking to her instantly.

“Can you?” I ask already giving Jimin to her. “Of course sweetheart. Please update me.” I run back into the direction of the van and hop in.

...

...

...

At the hospital

I’ve been sitting on this damn cold metal chair for a few hours now. My patience was wearing as tin as my worry was. What is taking so damn long? I can’t think. All I can think off is Jin. They took him somewhere back through the heavy doors labeled ‘EMERGENCY’. It can’t be good. What the fuck was going on? I’ve seen a few doctors rushing around through so many doors, it was impossible to know if it was Jin related. I pulled out my phone and typed a brief sentence into the bar that might explain why somebody would cough blood. What came up was not what I wanted to see at all. I knew it was bad but I didn’t know what to think. Results went as mild as chest infection to cancer. Now my thoughts were just eating each other like mad.

I rested the phone back down. It was a dangerous weapon at this point. Then I thought of Jimin. I still needed to call my brother. Shit! I check the time. It’s almost 7. Shit! Jimin would probably be up by now.

I search for his number and press call.

“The hell are you calling me so early in the morning it’s Sunday!” his voice is raspy over the phone. Probably still in bed.

“Hey, sorry. Listen, I need a favor.”

“What is it?” he asks impatient.

“Can you get Jimin for me, he’s over at Mrs. Yun’s. Oh and keep him with you”

“What? Why? Where are you? I got stuff to do! A life to live! This is why I don’t have kids you know-”

“Jin’s in the hospital.” I say cutting him off. The line goes silent for a minute. After a few more seconds I hear ruffling and shuffling.

“Yeah, I’ll get him.” He says simply.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Namjoon?” he says slowly into the phone. “I know you aren’t, what happened to Jin?”

I try to hold back tears “He started coughing up blood and collapsed.”

“Shit! Do you want me to come?”

“No, don’t, just get Jimin and don’t bring him here either, Jin will hate it.”

“Alright, but tell me if you want me to come, I’ll be there right away and don’t worry about Jimin I got it covered.”

“Thanks Jeongguk.”

I hang up. A heavy breath escapes me, I didn’t even realize I was holding it!

I realized I couldn’t even call Jin’s parents and let them know. They passed away a long time ago when Jin was young. He’s had nobody for a long time. Well, until we met that is and we got Jimin.

He was Jin’s pride and joy. Loved him to bits, even to the point of making me jealous of my own son. Why was this just all happening all of a sudden? Everything was fine a few hours ago. I had so many questions.

I hear footsteps walking, they’re different from the others that have been irritating me for the last few hours. These ones get louder. I look up slightly and see the hem of a white coat.

“Kim Namjoon?” I hear.

.

.

.

To be continued


	3. "Where's my baby?"

Chapter 3 (“Where’s my baby?”)

Namjoon's pov

"Yes." I stood to attention.

A man stands in my vision slouching slightly as if he's tired. His tag reads 'Dr. Seungkwan' "That's me." I clarify.

He pulls up the clipboard I didn't notice he was carrying and flips through it. "You are his husband, correct?" he asks with a less than nice tone.

He tried hard to hide it I suppose but it still shone through. I don't even give a damn right now, another homophobe, whatever, the world is filled with them, so what? I just want to know how Jin is. I couldn't care less about this guy's issues.

"Yes that's me. Is Jin alright? Where is he?" I ask impatient. He dabs his fingertip on his tongue and flips through his damn clip board again pissing me off more than I already was.

"Kim Seokjin is the patient's name, yes?" he asks again. Honestly though wouldn't you already fucking know that.

"Yes! That's his full name, please tell me if he's alright." I raise my voice slightly.

He lifts an eyebrow dramatically and writes something on his stupid paper. I already hate this guy.

"Kim Seokjin's condition is unknown and he is too weak to be tested at that moment, however he is stable as of now. We have him under observation and will run tests when he regains his full potential."

A breath escapes me making my head drop down in relief. 'He's alright.'

"But why did he cough up blood?"

"Like I said it's too early to say before we run tests. However Seokjin's a healthy young man. Sometimes humans do cough up slight amounts of blood. This is usually from the lungs and may be due to prolonged coughing from a simple thing like allergies or dust specs. Or it can be chest infections. Still it's nothing to worry about heavily." He says. Half of what he said made sense the other didn't, just like how half gave me hope and the other depressed the hell out of me.

"You can see him now, his in the patience's ward, room 113."

I leave after thanking him and bowing. As I make my way down the hallway trying not to run into someone I nearly stumble into two trash cans.

I reach the door and hesitate. Why am I hesitating? What do I want to see? Was I nervous? Part of me felt weird the other part of me wanted all this to be a dream and wake up in our bed where the first thing I'd usually see was Jin or sometimes Jimin when he sneaks into out bedroom.

I toss the negativity out the window and open the door. As soon as I do I see a figure rise up upon seeing me. It's Jin. He's in a hospital gown and has an IV drip connected to his wrist. His eyes look demanding and tired.

He looks up at towards me and makes grabby hands. Cute. I walk over and engulf him in a bear hug.

"Are you okay? I was so scared!" I admit as I lay a kiss on his head.

"I'm fine, the coughing stopped. Don't worry."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sorry for scaring you."

I lean down to his lips and peck them.

After that Jin launches into a rocket of tales. He starts telling me how scared he was and how weird it had been. All the while I sit back and let him talk. Probably one my most favorite things to do is just let him rant and listen. Even if he's mad at me, he still sounds pleasant. I can't help but smile.

Half way through the story he stops abruptly and turns to me. Panic shoot through me.

"Jin what's wrong?"

He looks mortified. Thinking that he's explode in a coughing spree again I prepare myself. He raises his head and looks at me dead in the eyes.

"Where's my baby?" he asks.

I swear to god I almost had a heart attack.

"Jin!" I complain.

"No, seriously where is Jimin? Is he still at Mrs. Yun? You know he'll get be sad that we haven't picked him up yet. Mrs.Yun will feed him coco cookies for breakfast and you know how he gets with coconut Namjoon. One minute he likes it and the next he has an allergic reaction to it. We need to get him. I want to see him and-"

"Jin!" I cut him off from his rant.

"Calm down, he's with Jeongguk."

"But I want to see him." He whines. I can't say not to that face. I can never say no to him; can't say no to that body nor can I fucking say no to this dangerous man who is coincidentally my husband.

\-----------------

A few hours later after a series of tests and checkups. We are allowed to leave. We make our way down the corridor to the ground floor where the main lobby is.

"PAPA!" that's all I here before I see Jin take off from beside me after dumping everything he was carrying on me. The scene is too wholesome. A smiling Jimin squirming from Jeongguk's arm as he is finally let down to run and stumble his way towards Jin. His eyes are shinning so bright that it gives me goose bumps just looking at them.

Jin picks him up, spins him round and showers him with kisses.

"I missed you papa, where did you go?" he coos touching Jin's face all over. A few people in the lobby take an immediate liking to the cuteness happening, some observe from afar with less than pleased eyes. Jin doesn't seemed phased by any of this and I'm not surprised.

"I'm sorry baby, I went to get some medicine. Have you eaten?" He asks.

"Yes, Uncle Jungkook gave me strawberry pudding!" he yells with excitement. Jin and I turn our heads to the said male in the corner and scowl at him.

"Really Jungkook?" Jin says unamused.

"There wasn't any strawberry yogurt okay, and he said he wanted strawberry! Don't blame me." Jin's shakes his head in disbelief but you could see the hint of amusement playing on his lips.

"Hey you guys left me alone with the kid! You should be glad I didn't give him chocolate ice cream like he asked first." He defends.

"No, I wanted cereal! Cereal, cereal!" Jimin chants.

A small 'shit' can be heard from Jeongguk's side.

I walk up to him and rest my hand on his shoulder. "You're gonna make one hell of a dad one day."

We walk out of the hospital to the car and hop in. Jungkook in the driver's seat, Jimin sitting on Jin's lap in the back and myself in the front passenger seat.

"I told you I'm not having kids."

"Sure, ok, whatever you say brother." I say sarcastically earning an eye roll from him.

.

.

.

To be continued


	4. "NOT THE RED ONE!"

Chapter 4 (“NOT THE RED ONE”)

*Author's note*  
'Papa' is Seokjin and Namjoon is referred to as 'Daddy' by Jimin.  
.  
.  
.  
Seokjin's pov  
"Papa do you know that my friend said he don't like flowers." Jimin says to me as we walk out of the day care centre. His chubby little fingers slipping from mine as he tries to carry his yellow backpack and water bottle at the same time.  
I reach over and help him with the load but he stops me "No papa i can do it myself, I'm a big boy!" A chuckle escapes my lips involuntarily. This kid surprises me everyday. One some days he doesn't want help with anything and other days he'll cry his little head off if he doesn't get enough attention. It's just like the coco cookies!   
As we reach the car I open it up and jimin hops in.   
"Jimin I need to put you in your car seat." He's so forgetful at times that i worry he'll do somthing stupid. Nonetheless I can't imagine my life without this adorable ball of fluff.  
He gets out of the car again and circles to the other side running his way over.  
I clip his tiny frame into it and get into the driver's seat. "Papa so Taehyung says he doesn't like flowers because girls like flowers. But I'm a boy and I like them."  
"Well baby, you can like whetever you want papa doesn't mind. You should tell your friend that everybody likes flowers." He shitfs in his seat   
"Really?"   
"Yes."  
Just as I'm about to drive off my phone rings. 'LOVE' by some rapper named RM starts playing. The upbeat ringtone excites Jimin immediately. It was the specific ringtone that i set just for Namjoon cause he wouldn't shut up about how great the artist was and played the song all the time. Eventually Jimin started singing it and wouldn't shut up either. It's practically engraved into my brain at this point.  
"It's daddy! It's daddy!" He cheers making me chuckle at his cuteness again. I give him the phone and he answers while i pull out of the school gates.  
"DADDY!" he yells into the phone. RIP Namjoons eardrums. There's a brief exchange about food and then it shifts to Jimin telling Namjoon about his new friend who hates flowers. The conversation that goes on between those two baffle me at times. They sometimes debate about stuff like politics like they're two long life friends catching up over beer. On other seemingly more toned down instances they are conversing over what they think I should cook for Monday night. Their bond shocks me at time. It's never a dull moment when they're around. I will never forget the day we adopted Jimin.  
That was about 2 years ago. I remember it like it just happened. During that time Namjoon and I were newly married. I'd always wanted to have children but couldn't. I was unable to have kids period. I'm not saying that's what drove me to be gay. It's not. I truly love Namjoon. But i really wanted a kid. So it was decided on both terms, mine and Namjoon's, that we would adopt. He was alright with it though and i was grateful for that.  
I had looked up various foster homes and eventually came to one I knew would have no complications with the fact of the child having two male parents.  
It was a rather shabby place. However you could tell they tried their best to maintain it. I liked that about it. Gave me comdort.  
I spent 2 hours there on that day. Talking to so many children and getting to know them. One who especially caught my eyes was the one boy who sat in the circle of kids around me. He just listened and never said anything unlike the others who were galaventing around begging for me to play with them. This boy just observed and speculated as if he was not allowed to participate. The strange thing about it though was how it looked like he didn't mind.  
I walked over to him and attempted to start up a conversation. At first i thought he wouldn't respond but he shocked me.  
"Hi there. What's your name?" I asked softly.  
"Jimin." He says. His words come out a little jumbled up. Like he hadn't learned how to properly talk yet. My heart combusted right then and there. I was in love to say the least. He was precious.  
I got a better look at him and held his small chubby hands. He didn't smile. He only watched me look at him. His eye where a lovely brown. His cheeks were the most chubbiest thing ever.  
I introduced him to Namjoon after that and he fell for him too.  
And since then its been merry and I've loved this kid to death.   
.  
.  
.  
"No, papa's here, he's driving." Jimin says. The phrase snaps me out of my thoughts.  
"Push the speaker button Jimin, do you remember that one? It's the-"  
"The red one!" He interrupts.  
"No, the-" I couldn't finish that sentence cause Jimin already pressed 'End call', declining the call. I can't picture him as ever being that shy little kid he once was. He's gotten so much more confident now. Always curious about anything and eveything.  
I sigh. "Jimin remember end call is the red one, the white one is speaker."  
"Okay papa." He says without a care. Probably ignoring what i said.  
I decide to not call Namjoon back. I was nearly home anyway.  
I round the corner and see that there's another car in my spot. It was next to Namjoon's. Odd...nobody parks there but me.  
I get out and walk up with Jimin. He runs ahead of me playing with that yellow plushie he insist on carrying everywhere. Zooming it through the air as fast as his tiny legs would carry him.  
"Jimin be careful you'll fall." I insist. The hell if he even heard me he wouldn't slowdown anyway. Play time to kids is all the time. Getting them out of it requires force that i dont wanna use right now. He charges into the door straight into the apartment hallway and to his messy toy pile in the living room.  
I walk into the kitchen and set the bags down and take out Jimin's lunch box.  
"Well-"  
I hear the voice before I see a face and at that point I don't want to look and see the face belonging to the voice. The chills i get shiver my spine and raises goosebumps on my arms.  
"Seokjin, it's nice to see you again." The voice says cutting through me like a dagger.  
I lift my head up and see her. Namjoon's off to the side leaning against the counter with an 'I'm sorry' look on his face.  
"Granmama!!!!" Jimin shreaks running up to her.   
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To be continued


	5. Cookies

Chapter 5 (Cookies)

Seokjin's pov

"Granmama" a shriek evokes from Jimin. He runs through the kitchen hugging the elder's knees.

"Oh my beautiful little boy, how are you?" She says scooping him up in her frail arms.

"I'm super!" Jimin giggles.

"Look at you, you've grown so much since I've seen you. Your father hardly brings you to see me nowadays." She says with a hint of salt. I try not to notice how she not so discreetly said said father instead of fathers. It's always me.

Her name; Myung Sook, her status; Namjoon's mom, my mother-in-law, her goal in life; to torment me to the ends of the Earth.

I have done nothing to this woman. Except from marrying her beloved son and giving her her beloved granson. Still she detests me. She won't go out of her way to embarass me or say that she honestly hates me but her awful remarks and silent insults are annoying and quite hurtful considering I'm her son-in-law. She's never had an explanation as to why she doesn't like me but to me it will always be because I am with Namjoon.

That's the only reason there is. Myung-sook didn't want her son to be gay, I influenced that! She wanted Namjoon to take over his fathers legacy of owning their furniture store, I drove Namjoon from that because he was miserable. All red lights point to me. I've practically accepted it now.

Nonetheless I treat her fairly. "Hello Myung sook."

She clearly hears me but chooses to ignore me and continue talking to Jimin. Whatever! She can rot in hell.

"I see you've been eating chocolate, mr. Chubbykins." She says pinching the little boys plum cheeks.

"Papa says I look cute."

Jimin says pouting. "Does he now, well Jimin you should try not to eat a lot. It's bad for you." She says calmly. What the fuck? He's a kid! He survives off of sugar. This is her criticizing my parenting skills again. Pathetic, Jimin eats sweets only on occasions when I let him. None of his teeth have rot and he's healthy as can be. If I continued to listen to this woman I'd blow a blood vessel.

After a few more conversation exchange and gift giving Jimin begins to squirm out of her hand. He dashes to the living room with a box of what looks like buttery cookies courtesy of her. She walks after him out of the room. Her actions contradicts everything she says. I let out a sigh as I set the washed box on the dry rack and place Jimin's newly filled juice bottle and water bottle in the fridge for tommorow. Deciding to let her do her thing I walk up to Namjoon's bag avoiding eye contact and get out his lunch case, proceeding to the sink to do the same as I did to Jimin's.

I feel two pair of hands rest themselves on my shoulders. Namjoon's face peers from the corner of my face and he kisses my cheek. I ignore him.

"Sorry I didn't know she would be stopping by, she didn't say?" He says kissing my temple this time. "You could've warned me!" I say

He chuckles "I tried to but yu handed the phone to Jimin! Remember?" Oops.

"Oh." I say realising. "Dont worry." He says hugging my waist. I put away the bowls and dry my hands. "I'll make sure she behaves."

A let out another exasperated huff.

Namjoon notices and lifts an eyebrow.

"So how are you feeling today? No coughing?" He asks.

Since that shockingly awful night I haven't had any coughing episodes. It was a massive relief.

"No, its gone. I'm fine." I answer.

"Good, tell me if u feel anything alright?" He says in my ear. He spins me round and makes me look at him. He sweeps his hand under my chin and itches my face closer into a kiss. Soft and gentle with his other hand at my hips.

"Honestly you two. Jimin's in the other room." I hear behind us. The voice is laced with attitude. She stands at the archway with a disproving look on her face. We break the kiss and Namjoon backs off.

"Mom it's fine. Jimin understands." Namjoon says brightly.

"He's a little baby boy, and shouldn't walk in on the two of you kissing like this in the kitchen." She retorts.

"Exactly mom, he's a little 3 and a half year old boy about to be 4. We've explained what kissing is and why we do it." Namjoon says bluntly. For once I'm impressed with him.

In our opinion. We rather teach him these simple things like displays of affection now before he ventures off and gets the wrong impression somewhere else. Besides I don't see what the problem is. We kiss him all the time; not on the lips, but we've explained the differences.

She huffs and rolls her eyes slightly.

"Papa..?" I hear and spot Jimin at the door.

"Yes?" He's cluching his yellow dog bear thing like always. His face is squeamish. I begin to panic.

"Baby what's wrong?" I ask running up to him and kneeling.

"I don't like the cookies." he says holding up half a piece.

I take it and smell it. Shit! Coconut!

.

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To be continued

Lol I know the story is trash....ignore the mistakes!!!!


	6. Either -he- goes or I don’t

Chapter 6 (Either -he- goes or I don’t)

Seokjin's pov  
"Namjoon!?" I say urgently.  
He gets the hint instantly and walks towards us.  
"What's going on?" He asks kneeling down as well. I hand him the cookie and look at Jimin's sickly face. He looks like he's about to hurl. This is what happens when he tries anything with coconut in it. I discovered this reaction two years ago when he ate coconut chocolate ice cream. He doesn't exactly have a allegic reaction to it. He'll survive, but it might make him vomit a few times, run a small fever or drain his energy for a few days. During that time he is the definition on 'babie'. Won't do anything, whiny and is the most hug-starved human ever.  
"Mmm" he whines again. Fuck! I want to scream but I don't. She knows this...why would she think of getting him those.  
"What's wrong with him?" She asks concerned.  
"It's the cookies mom, you know how he gets when he eats coconut." Namjoon presses.  
"Oh, I didn't know those had coconut...." she says sounding genuine. "You should really get him to see a doctor, maybe even one of those private ones that are more precise and get him fixed." But then she opens her mouth to say that kind of a thing.  
" 'Fixed? What do you mean by fixed?'" I think, but the words leave my mind and I realise I'm saying it aloud.  
She looks at me perplexed. "To fix his issue-"  
Damn this bitch.  
Picking a drained Jimin and resting his head on my shoulder I open my mouth to give it all to her "Nothing is wrong with him Myung sook. He's normal and can you please just accept what happened and say sorry. It doesn't cost anything." I say walking off to tend to Jimin.  
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(Namjoon's PoV)  
I watch him walk off and climb the stares to the bathroon with a chubby Jimin clutching his shirt, his demeanour pissed as hell. It's kind of sexy in all honesty. As he exits mom gives him a scowl and creases her eyebrows. Nothing has ever been right with those two always bickering and feuding. Frankly it was my mom's fault. She doesn't like Jin that much.  
"He's still got that attitude. I told you he was a tough one." She complains.  
'Yeah he really is, tough as nails and got the spice to go with it. Isn't afraid to tell u what he thinks and is super compassionate with Jimin. Scares me half to death sometimes but it's alluring and soothing.' I think. God I'm whipped for him.  
"NAMJOON!" I hear. I spin my head round and look towards her. "I've been talking to you, haven't you been listening?" She says.  
"Yeah, yeah... go on."  
"The attitude with him is vile. Always has something to say and always judgy-" "Mom," I interrupt calmly.  
"Stop it. Please stop bickering. Jin's a good person, by now you should know, or accept that, he's an amazing dad. I'm married to him and we have a kid. He can't eat coconut and you know that. Why would u give it to him?" I say dragging my questions on.  
"Namjoon I didn't know there was coconut in there. I wouldn't have given it to him if i knew. I love my grandchild, he-"  
"And Jin?" I cut her off. She doesn't say anything. And I take her silence as an answer. Aish seriously, this feud has been going on for years. My mom just dislikes him so much. Sometimes I just wanna yell 'GET OVER IT' to her.  
"Ok," I sigh, trying is pointless at times. "Anyway why did you come unannounced?" I say changing the subject.  
"Oh yes, your father and you're two uncles want to see you. To talk to you about something."  
"Why so soon? Is something wrong?"  
"No, they just want to speak to you." She says brightly.  
"Why can't they come here or just FaceTime me?"  
"They just want to have a meeting. I'm not sure what it's about Namu, they just want you to fly over."  
"Mom I can't just up and leave Jin here with Jimin. He's got school and there are other stuff going on." I say trying not to give her a lot of information on Jin's coughing episodes. She'll start complaining again. And plus it would piss Jin off more.  
"Why not?"  
"Cause he's my husband." I say bluntly. She flinches at that.  
She leans forward and gets closer to me. "Kim Namjoon Seokjin is grown adult and can take care of himself. If you want you can bring Jimin with you. I'm sure he'd want to see his only grandfather again!" There she goes again, excluding Jin like he's not part of the family. It's annoying.  
"Alright mom, when?" I ask simply.  
Her face lights up. "Next week, during the weekend."  
"Ok. I'll be there."  
"Perfect." She says taking her purse from the counter and packing it. "I'll book the tickets and-oh, you can stay in your old room. It's as good as new. And I'm sure Jimin will sleep with you fine. If not he can sleep in your old toddler bed. I'll book the tickets tomorrow and prepare the room-"  
"I'm still bringing Jin mom, he has to go too. Jimin's not going to sleep without him and I want him there." I say looking her dead in the eyes.  
"But-" she starts. "I won't go if he doesn't come and that's final."  
"Fine he can come too." She says giving up. As she does Jin walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge and takes out a few ice cubes puts them in the blender making them into chips. He places the chips into one if Jimin's yellow bowls and stalks upstairs again without so much as a side glace to either of us.   
'Spicy' is all that comes to my mind.  
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To be continued  
Filler episode. Sorry.   
Yes it's short. Yes im trash!


	7. Promise? ….. promise

Chapter 7 (Promise? ….. promise)

Namjoon's pov  
"Patty cake, patty cake, how many patty cake do you want? Patty cake, patty cake how many patty cake do you want. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7..." this is what I hear throughout the damned plane ride to my parents' house.  
Jimin's currently sitting on Jin's lap facing him while they play a dumb game of hand slapping over and over again. Usually I can tolerate them but right now we were in a pit of a plane. It wasn't empty, there were a few people around us. No doubt they've been counting their patience as well.   
My father had sent me a bunch of paperwork to overlook before the meeting and I couldn't concentrate.  
"Jimin sweety can we play patty cake later. Why dont you and papa watch cartoons?"  
He looks at me like I've just ruined his life. Luckily Jin steps in. "Why don't we let daddy do his work before he turns into Mr.Grouchy pants?" Jin attempts nuzzling into the boy's face.  
I'm not surprised that it works. Jimin simply gives him an 'ok papa' and stops.  
Silence descends upon the enclosed space of the first class lounge. I hear people from around me sigh in relief and continue to go about their tasks.   
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Half an hour later I've successfully scanned through the first document in utter silence. The silence of the plane was only interupted by the sweet voices of the cabin crew and the occasional clinking of glass. I look over towards the window seat to my left and smile. Jimin's lifeless limbs are straddled around Jin's also lifeless body. The seat is pulled back a bit and they both seem to be calm. Jin has one hand on the small of Jimin's back and the other loosely under his butt. They seem content and I didn't want to disturb them. Jin looks angelic lying there even with a body on him. I reach over and press a small peck to his forehead. Leaning over I turn off the moniter infront of them and drape a thick blanket over their bodies.   
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In 3 more hours we were on the airport getting through security. Ten minutes later we're standing outside the airport waiting for a taxi. It's a miracle Jimin managed to sleep through all that.  
When we arrive at my parents' house I'm fully exhausted. After setting up the room for Jimin, putting him to bed and greeting my dad I walk up to my room where Jin was and collasp on the bed- face first- letting out a long awaited sigh. The bed dips suddenly and I feel someone hover over me.  
A pair of hands place themselves gently on my shoulders. They start to move gently and add pressure as they continue. I let out a moan of satisfaction. My muscles were stressed from carrying everything while Jin had to hold onto a sleeping Jimin.  
He continues to rub slowly. I feel him press his knees into the bed again, this time getting up on my back straddling it. He continues to rub and moves further down making sure to get my whole back. He scoots further down nearing dangerously to my ass to futher down.  
After a few minutes he stops. He leans forward close to my ear. "Is that better?" He asks slowly, his voice, sweet, coated with precision. I mumble a 'mhm' against the blanket. He's teasing me and he knows that I know.  
He's about to continue but we hear the sound of someone messing with the doornob. Jin gets off me quickly. After a few seconds the door still isn't open but the action continues. It gets sloppy and it's as if somebody was fiddling with it. As in on cue a loud screech explodes from outside the door almost turning to sobs. "DADDYYY, PAPAAAA!"  
Jin is up on his feet and hurries towards the door. Chances are he could'nt reach the handle properly cause it was too high. But still, my son's a damn cockblocker.   
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It's night time now, 11 o'clock to be exact. Everything was fine. We just had dinner with my parents and took a short stroll through the garden to wear Jimin out from all the energy he gained due to sleeping on the plane.  
To say I was tired was an understatement. Jin seemed to be the fittest person in the world compared to me.  
Right now he was in the bathroom, washing up. He walks out moments later wearing a silky night coat on his pijamas, the material made it seem as if he was almost gliding in. He looks at me smiles then turns off the lights leaving the soft caramel glow of the bedside lamp to illuminate the room.  
"Hey." He says climbing in bed towards me. His scent is intoxicating. Fresh and minty. Vanilla embedded into his hair.  
"So how did the talk with your dad go?"  
I stiffen at his question. "Fine, I'm still not sure what he wants to talk me about. My uncles are flying in as we speak and will arrive early morning. "  
He places his head on my chest using his exposed arm to gently caress it. "What about you? What happened while I spoke to dad?"  
He faces away from me. "Fine, fine. Peachy." He says quickly.  
I raise an eyebrow at this. "Really now? Jin you're a bad liar you know?!" "Then don't ask me about the time I had to spend with that devil woman." He says serious. I chuckle.   
"Give her time. She's hard headed and -" "-and mean, ignorant, hates me to bits, take your pick."  
I don't know what to do about their relashionship. It's a mess. It's fairly true my mom doesn't like Jin as much as I'd love her to. I just want them to get along. I don't know how though.  
"Yeah, she's tough. A tough one. She means well though."  
I get a simple 'mhm' as a reply and chose not to press on anymore.  
As we lay there i feel Jin's body tense up. It's like he's squeezing himself in. A second later a small cough comes out. Panic shoots through my core. Oh no.  
"Jin!" I say urgently attempting to get up. He pushes me back down. "Namjoon no, you're not going to freak out everytime I cough. It's normal." He's right. A moment later there's no more coughing. I let out a breath.  
"Hey." He says after a while. We're still awake even though we were tired. We just weren't ready to sleep. Times like this, we talk and think, we share our thoughts and it's simple bonding time. They say communication is the key to a good relationship well I agree. Time spent talking and letting our feelings out here in bed alone really helps. That's also one of the reasons why i love him and will always love him. He's honest. He talks. He makes me happy.  
"Yeah?" I answer. He shifts on my chest finding a more comfortable spot. "If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
"Ji-" "Promise me Joonie." he presses.  
"I do but why are you saying such a thing now?" His face is looking down and away from me so i can't tell what he means. I just have to trust his words. "Nothing for you to worry about. I'm fine. I'm just saying that if a situation like that were to happen that's what i would want you to do."  
I don't say anything. "Never leave him, give him love and teach him nomatter how hard it is. He's a smart little bean i can feel it." Jin says.  
"You know, you saying all of these things just stresses me out more."  
Jin hmms in responce. "You know what let's make a promise." I say holding my pinky out infront of his face. Jin turns around and looks at me smiling. "Really?" He says chuckling. "You're such a dork." He says but holds his pinky out as well. We intertwine them. "I promise to never leave you." I start.  
Jin smiles wider. "... And I promise we'll always be together." He says in return but hesitates before fully squeezing our pinkies together.  
He leans over and kisses me and I kiss back. A small doubt lingers momentarily but i brush it off. It was a moment for the scrap books and i enjoyed it to the fullest.  
"I love you." He whispers falling back on my chest to a plausible slumber.  
"I love you too." I say drifting off as well.  
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To be continued  
I would like to thank you for reading this book.


	8. "Daddy, papa won’t wake up.”

Chapter 8 ("Daddy, papa won’t wake up.”)

Namjoon's Pov  
The next morning I wake up relatively early. The bedside clock reads [6AM]  
I stretched a little careful to not wake up the male sleeping next to me. His body's folded between the duvet forming a little ball. 'Cute' i think. I reach over and plant a kiss on his forehead and go to the bathroom.   
After washing up and dressing I make my way back to the room. Jin's still sleeping in the same position. That's odd. He's be up by now. Maybe he's jet lagged.  
I walk out and head to Jimin's room. Like Jin he's sttuffed into the duvet making a ball of white fluff. I walk up to the fluff corpse and try to find his face. It takes a while cause the duvet's gone eveywhere and Jimin's head is at the base of the bed. I finally find his chubby little face. He's still sleeping, he drooled all over the side of his mouth and it's dried up. I shake him and he opens his eyes.  
"Daddy." He slurs still trying to get use to the situation. He sits up and makes grabby hands at me. I pick him up and he goes straight for my shoulder. Sleeping again. I walk to the bedroom bathroom and wake him again to stand on the step stool so he can wash his face and brush his feet.  
This is always a hard task in the morning but today he seems more tammed. Seems as though he also has the jet lag fever.  
I keep him in his pijamas and we go downstairs. Mom's up, no surprise there. She's probably been up since 5. "Morning mom." I say walking into the kitchen. I lean over and give her a small peck on the cheek. "Morning Namu." She answers. "Where's dad?" I ask.  
"He went to fetch your uncles from the airport."  
"MORNING GRANMAMA!" Jimin shrieks discarding my arms and climbing into hers.  
"Oh, morning big boy, what do you want to eat for breakfast today?" She asks him. I drown them out and go to get some cold milk from the fridge.  
After a little while later. I look at the time. It's [7:15], odd Jin would be up and bustling by now. "Where's that husband of yours? Breakfast is at 7 here. He should know that." I roll my eyes secretly. Breakfast was at 7:30 if i remember correctly. She's exaggerating again. I ignore the comment and look at Jimin playing with his baked beans and cereal. I honestly don't know why he asked for those. He's never liked beans. But oh well. He's made a mess of himself. Cereal was on his clothes and bean sauce was all over his face. This is exactly why i don't change him out of his pijamas. I'd just be ruining two outfits if i did.  
"Jimin, can you go wake papa?" I ask. He nods viciously climbs down the chair. He falls off of it but gets up at lightning sleep dashing upstairs. The door is open so im sure he wont have trouble.  
After a little while he comes back down. "Daddy, papa won't wake up." He says sadly. 'What?' I say mentally.  
"What do you mean Jimin?"   
"I jump on him and he won't open his eyes." I swear my eyes poppped out of my head. I dash upstairs after ordering Jimin to remain downstairs.  
I walk into the room and Jin is still in the same position be was in earlier. The only difference is the sheets and duvet. I'm guessing that was Jimin's doing. "Jin?" I call out once im close to him. "Jin?" I say again a little louder. He doesn't budge. I turn his body towards mine and put my finger under his nose. I don't know why but i just had a feeling to do that. I don't know why though. Im bitting my lip for some reason.  
I rest my hand there for a few seconds waiting.   
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"Namjoon? What are you doing?" A voice says. Jin's voice says. I look down. I didn't even realise i had closed my eyes. His eyes are open. He's looking at my like I'm crazy.  
"Oh my god. Why-" I say burying myself in hi body. "Why what? Why were u putting your finger under my nose?" He asks sitting up to face me.  
"I thought- why didn't you get up when Jimin tried waking you?" I ask  
Oh my god. I assumed the worst. That was horrible. Why did i think of that?  
"Jimin never came in here!"he says bluntly.  
"What?" I say dumbfounded. What the hell?  
"Jimin!?" I call out loud enough for him to hear downstairs. I hear his footsteps getting louder but then it suddenly fades away somewhere else.  
After a little while I hear him scream "Daddy where are you?"  
Jin's still looking at my like I'm mental. I walk over to the door looking into the hallway. I see the boy standing outside my parent's room in the far end of the hallway.  
Jesus chr- he mixed up the doors. This boy. Sometimes he's just dumb mashed potato.  
"Don't call him dumb mashed potato!" I hear Jin say scolding me. I didn't realise i said that out loud. He gets off the bed and walks up to me. " If anything he's sweet potato." He pokes his head in the hallway as well and spots Jimin. He calls him over and I swear it's like watching a small blond little golden retriever running with pure joy towards his owner.  
"Morning papa." He says brightly hugging Jin's shoulder. "Morning baby cakes. Have you had breakfast yet?" Jimin nods and Jin ruffles his blond locks.  
"Thats good let's go take a bath. Oh and this is daddy and papa's room. Not that one" Jin clarifies, explaining the differences to Jimin.  
He takes the boy's hand and walks towards me into the room.  
"Oh and its was sweet that you thought I died that easily Joons." He says chuckling as he walks by. "I know you're still worried, but I'm fine okay?" He says cupping my cheek into his palm. "Oh and good morning." He says sweetly pecking my lips.  
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To be continued  
Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. I didn't proof read this... lol If you have questions ask me personally.


	9. Uncles

Chapter 9 (Uncles)

Namjoon's pov  
An hour later a car pulls up outside. I assume it's my father and his his brothers.  
I walk out to greet them in the master lobby. Mom follows suit with water bottles in her hands. Always the perfect polished hostess. They've changed nothing about them. Both still on the heavy side, no doubt from all the unhealthy benefits from cigars and chicken they consume.  
"Namjoon my boy, you just keep growing don't you?" Uncle Samuel says walking up to me shaking by hand and patting me on the back simultaneously. "It's nice to see you again, how've you been?" He asks looking at me.  
"Oh you know, here and there. You look well." I lie slight.  
"Namjoon, Namjoon you just keep getting more handsome everytime I see you, must work up a storm with the ladies now ey?" My other uncle; Morty says in a joking manner. He was the jokster one out of the trio. Always got a joke up his sleeve, always ready to embarrass his two younger brothers. Although he did mention the ladies, uncle Morty knows I'm married to Jin. They all knew, they attended the ceremony. The decision of sometimes forgetting is a complete mystery.  
I give him a small awkward laugh and we hug.  
"You must be famished from the trip, let's get you settled in." Mom says signalling the house helpers to bring their bags up.  
We start walking towards the sitting area outside where mom suggested we sit. As we walk into the garden my uncles start bombarding me with questions.   
"So little Namjoon how's married life treating you? Pulled out any grey hair yet." Uncle Morty says laughing making his other two brothers laugh.  
We arrive at the table and sit under the trees.  
I laugh as well out of generosity "Pretty well so far, small arguememts here and there you know how it is, what would it be without it?" I say. They both laugh again.  
"So where's that husband of yours anyway? Did you leave him home?" Uncle Samuel asks popping a small looking cigar into his mouth and lighting it.  
"Oh he-" " Probably stil sleeping the days away." Mom interupts.  
"Myung sook lets not start." Dad says stopping her. She sighs and walks off towards the kitchen. Dad follows as well.  
"Anyway he-"  
"Jimin! Be careful theres a branch there!" The sound of Jin's voice radiates through my ears making me turn around instantly. As I do I witness a small ball of light running at full speed into the garden clutching a yellow plush so hard as he did so.  
Jin's jogging after him with no chances of keeping up. "Jimin! Watch out!" I look from Jin to the boy and sure enough comes a small gasp, slience, a tud and shortly after a cry.  
Arg, not again. Jimin begins to wail, he clutches his knees on the ground. I'm about to stand. As I do both my uncles do too. "Jesus christ!" They say at the same time. They jog over to the boy and squat down. I also walk over and Jin joins shortly after his hands on his knees panting. Just as I'm about to pick him up. Uncle Morty beats me to it. He puts him in a sitting position. Jimin's still off the rails crying. "Now hush little fighter. You gotta be strong. We'll patch up your scrape in a minute." He says whipping the tears from the boy's cheeks. Jimin looks up through his tear stained eyes and swallows. "It hurts." He says. "Yes I know, but it will stop if you give it time. Okay?"  
"How?" Jimin asks. Crying a little less. "Well" he begins as he hoists the boy up into his arm. "You're much too young to know." He picks up the yellow plushy off the ground. "Who's this?" He asks. Jimin's eyes light up. He stops crying and makes a grab for the toy. "It's Chimmy!"  
"Oh! Who's Chimmy?" Uncle Morty asks, his voice over dramatic booming.  
"He's my bestfwiend!" He says confidently.  
"Hello Chimmy." He says playing along. At that point Jimin's forgotten about his scrape entirely. They start to have a conversation.  
"Hello Seokjin. How are you?" Uncle Samuel says.  
"Fine, thank you sir." He says smilling.  
"None of that sir nonsense here alright. To Namjoon I'm uncle Sam and that goes for you too without a doubt. Understood?"  
"Yes si- I mean uncle Samuel." He chuckles.  
"Good enough." He says back shaking Jin's hand.  
"So who's this?" Uncle Morty ask gesturing towards Jimin who's now resting on his shoulder.  
"You babysitting or something?"  
"Oh, um no Jimin's-" "Daddy I'm thirsty." Jimin says interupting.  
"Jimin the adults are talking." Jin scolds.  
"Sorry Papa." He reaches out to Jin and he takes him from an agape looking Uncle Morty.  
"Wait, what!?" They say simultaneously.  
I smile. Since they rarely visited and they live so far away I didn't have the chance to tell them about Jimin.   
"Wait a minute, youre a father now? Who's kid is it?"  
"Jimin was adopted." I clarify.  
After a small silence a horde of laughter fills the area.  
At first I thought they were laughing at us but after they stopped uncle Morty pulls me over and nuzzles my head. "Good on you boy. You've really grown up." He says.  
"Still though. Not telling us about our nephew. How dare you?" Uncle Samuel joins.  
After that they start cooing around Jimin. Giving him all the attention he always craves. They seemed to genuinely like him which pulls a ton of weights off my shoulder. I love my uncles and it would be a shame if they didn't accept us starting a family.  
As I stand and watch them play freezetag of all things with Jimin a hand snakes round mine and a head leans on my shoulder. The unique scent tells me everything. Jin squeezes my arm and intertwines our hands. "I definitely like your uncles better than your mom." I chuckle at that.   
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To be continued  
Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single reader :)   
Cue lame joke ...; J-hope you having a badass day


	10. Blood? Again?

Chapter 10 (Blood? Again?)

Seokjin's pov  
It was evening now. After a full day of watching over Jimin as he got to know and play with his two uncles I am beat. I finish tucking him in bed and place a kiss on the exhausted boys forehead.  
I return to Namjoon's room and take a shower to get ready for bed. He's been gone the whole of the afternoon and now it's the evening he is still not back. The meeting must be important. Wonder why he made him fly out here so quickly? I decide to read and wait for him. I'm a little tired but it's tolerable. I pull up a chair near the balcony and dim the lights just so I can see.  
It's been over an our now. The time says it's 11:30 pm but I'm convinced it's lying. Nonetheless it's too late now. I guess Namjoon's going to take longer. I head to the bathroom again to brush my teeth.  
As im doing so I feel a clammy and wierd sensation bubble up in my chest. It tickles and causes me to cough into the sink making all the toothpaste foam splatter in the bowl and onto the mirron. For christ's sake of all times to cough. I wash it off and clean the sink spotless. The sensation builds up again and i cough more this time. What the hell? Not this again. I cough a little louder and it burns my chest a little.  
Oh god, am i going to have to got to the hospital again? They told me i was fine. I cough again and gasp for air as if my own breath was betraying me. I walk over to the nightstand and take the water bottle and try to control my breathing. It subsides and seems to calm itself.  
Heading back to the bathroom i resume brushing, gurgling the water and spitting it out. A faint smudge of red catches my eyes. It's blood no doubt. Did i brush that hard?  
My thoughts are interrupted by a noise coming from the door. It fiddles with the handle a little trying to open it. Jimin? Can't be, he's practically out cold. I walk over and open it.  
It's Namjoon. He's limping a little, face a little cloudy and smell of cigars hot on his clothes. "Namjoon? What are u doing? Come in." He giggles.  
I can tell he's slightly tipsy straight away but I ask anyway. "Are you drunk?" I ask throwing my hands at my hips. "No, don't be ready-ridiculous!" He says sluring his words out and giggling. Oh god he's more than tipsy. Nice business meeting!  
"Ah geez, come on, get inside." I say pulling him inside and closing the door.  
He stands in the middle of the room dazzed and a little lost. I've dealt with this mood before countless times. It was more common in our teens though and early twenties too, before Jimin and before marriage. The times we use to ditch university and screw around getting drunk on the cheapest booze ever.  
Good times  
I pull his hand towards the bathroom and he lazily follows without a word. I put the toilet cover down and ask him to sit. He does and i go get him pyjamas. When i come back he has his hands in his palms with his head down. "Namjoon are you alright?" I ask setting the clothes close by.  
He lifts his head up and tosses it back looking at the ceiling. "Namjoon?"  
I come closer to him trying to get a better look of him face. I didn't know what was wrong.  
I step in between his legs and reach out to the unmoving figure. Without warning he closes his legs and wraps his arms around my waist.  
For fucks sake. "Jinie~" he slurs. "Jinie you smell so nice~" he was gone. How much did he even drink? I rest my hands on his shoulder. "Namjoon let's get you dressed for bed. Put your arms up so i can take your shirt off." I instruct. "You wan' take m'shirt off?"   
"Yes so we can go to bed." He giggles again.  
He releases the hold on my waist and lifts his arms up. I'm a hundred percent sure he could have done that himself but he just wanted to be babied. I lift his shirt off and toss it in the hamper all the while still locked between his legs.  
I reach for the pyjama shirt and is stopped by Namjoon. His hands hold mine and puts them back to my sides.  
I try again and he does the same.  
"Namjoon!" I scold. He doesn't react much but looks up to me with the same cloudy expression. Them he looks down again. His face in line with my waist.  
"I like your hips." He says out of the blue as he grabs onto them with both hands on either side. "Have I ever told you that Jinie~?" He asks rubbing them in gently.  
"Yes, about a trillion times. Let's go to bed now. I'm tired." I say giving up on the pyjamas. He'll sleep like this. There's no way I'm going to get him dressed in this state. Dressing Jimin while his throwing a tantrum would be less annoying.  
Suddenly his strokes stop their continuous pattern and Namjoon presses my sides a little tighter and begins to raise my pyjama shirt up exposing my stomach to him. He leans forward and presses his cold lips to it. He starts leaving feather like kisses on my lower torso. He feels nice I admit but Namjoon was drunk. Dazed in his giggly little world.  
"Nam-" before i can finish he stands up straight. He cups my face and presses his lips to mine gently. The taste of the vile aftertaste of wine invades my minty fresh mouth. His hand moves to the back of my neck while the other grabs at my hips once again; this time pulling it towards his body harshly.  
I try to pull away gently by pushing against his naked chest. This wasn't the time for this. It's late, we're at his parents' house and Jimin was practically next door.  
He begins to push himself towards my body making me walk backwards. I break the kiss and look up at the latter. "Joonie we can't do this right now, this is you're parents' place and Jimi-"  
"Jin, I want you." He says cutting me off completely.  
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To be continued  
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you guys! :) Tell me what you think if u want to


	11. No Joonie

Chapter 11 (No Joonie)

Seokjin's pov  
His eyes were a lot more focused right now. Much more than before. He doesn't take his eyes off of me as I try to squirm away from him. After all this time how am i still getting flustered? I can practically feel my cheeks and ears burn. He's your husband! Pull yourself together.  
"Namjoon this is your parents' house." I whisper shout at him. He doesn't seemed phased at all. Drunk determined Namjoon was and will forever will be a tool. He's so needy.  
He smirks of all things and leans in closer again. This time he attacks my neck. I force myself out of a moan. "Namjoon did you not just hear what I said?" I say pulling him away slightly.  
"I heard you." He says detaching his plunger from my neck. "I'm just choosing not to answer cause I don't care." He responds.  
Wasn't he sluring over his words a minute ago? What just happened? It's like he just sobered up. Or was he even fucking drunk at all?  
"You dick, you weren't drunk at all, were you?"  
"Oh no, there's definitely a buzz going around in my head but like I said I fucking want you right now, bad." His voice is like a steel blade. It's like those long grass-like weeds that cut you when you touch them.  
I would be lying if I said I wasn't also drawn but that doesn't chase the fact that his parents were right down the hall. His mom hates me enough as is.  
"No Joonie. Let's just go to bed okay?" I say turning him down. His face remains the same. Looking sort of stoic.  
"Alright...if you say so." He says simply. I take his hand and lead him to the room. He still stumbles a little but manages stay on his feet long enough. Before I reach the bed Namjoon let's go of my hand and wraps both of them around me. Trapping me once again. He doesn't do anything. Just pulls me against him - my back to his chest- and hides his face in my neck.  
I feel him breathe in. This bitch is smelling me?  
"Namjoon, what are you doing?" I ask him. My hands are still pinned down and all I can do is move my head to the left.  
He doesn't say anything. After about a few more seconds he starts to move. He sways his body from left to right slowly and takes me with him. We look like two damn idiots standing in a room in the middle of a the night hugging and swaying to no music. I don't know what he's doing.  
"What are we doing?" I ask amist the sway. He doesn't answer.  
"I love you so much." He says suddenly still buried in my neck. His breath hot and lingering heavily in that area.  
I'm taken aback to be frank. He always says he loves me so why am i still weak to the words. Jesus I feel like a school girl. Since when am I this vulnerable.  
"You're not going to say it back?" He asks honestly with no hesitation.  
"Persistent aren't you?" I challenge. Probably not the best moven though.  
"Fine." He finishes nonchalantly.  
Im suddenly spun round and is now facing the gorgeous man infront of me. Looking at his pink blush littered face i wonder whether it's from the mood or from him being tipsy. Nontheless it's adorable.  
He keeps swaying me side to side and I let him. I place my hands on his shoulders. "Do you know how amazing you are?" He says. "No, please enlighten me." I go along.  
"What would I do without you?" He confesses leaning over to kiss me. I give in and allow him to do so. Even though I'm still sceptical about where it will inevitably lead. His hands begin to explore my torso as he starts feeling me up. A small whimper escapes me at the feeling of his cold dead finger tips. He goes down to my jaw, teasing and licking where he sees fit. Finally he reaches my neck again. He attempts to attack the sweet spot between my neck and my collar bone but I stop him. If that happens then I know there was no turning back. And he knew that too which is why he whimpered when I did it. "No, Joonie. Think about where we are, your mother already hates me, I don't need another reason for her to." He signs in defeat. It breaks my heart a little, he's just horny and tipsy, all he wants is some intimate attention from me. It's a shame.  
"Let's go to sleep alright? I promise as soon as we get back home okay?" I assure him. He nods like a little child and it makes me sad.  
I spread myself on the comfy bed and face my back to Namjoon. He instantly reaches over and puts a protective arm around my waist.  
"Night. I love you too."  
"Nyt." He says with a light kiss to my shoulder.  
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To be continued  
Thanks for reading (the two to three of you who do) I appreciate it :)


	12. My baby boys

Chapter 12 (My baby boys)

*Author's note*  
"Idk if this is a filler, buuttt here ya go"  
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Seokjin's pov  
The next morning I wake up to the same rattle noise from the other day. I look over at the clock and it's 6am. The door handle is moving around aggressively and all I can think of is my little baby on the other side standing on his tippy toes trying to open the door to see his dads. It's a shame the doors here are taller so therefore it makes the handles higher too.  
Namjoon's still sleeping like a log next to me. No surprise there. I quickly walk over and open it before he starts crying.  
"Papa!" He shrieks with his arms with open. I pick him up. Jesus, he was getting heavier. Time flies. "Good morning baby." I kiss his chubby cheeks and he squeals even more. No matter how old he gets his cheeks just get more plump. I absolutely love it. I take him to the bathroom and we both brush our teeth and wash our faces. Heading back to the room I see that Namjoon is still alseep. Honestly he is a log. He slept through all that commotion! Midway during teeth brushing Jimin started to sing and I even joined him.  
"Jimin do you wanna wake Daddy up?" I ask him. He nods his head visciously. I watch as he toddles over and climbs onto Namjoons back. He starts bouncing up and down. "Daddy wake up it's morning, DADDY!! DADDY!!" I laugh at how quickly he's jostled awake. His eyes are sleepy and he looks pissed for a moment. After he notices who it was and what the circumstances were he begins to play with Jimin. He pulls him off his back and starts fake eating him. He blows raspberries onto him making the little boy squeal and shriek with joy as he tries to escape. Seeing them like that made me so happy. I loved us. The three of us. My baby boys. My boys. They brought so much joy to my life and imagining life without them was impossible.  
Tears start to form around eyes as I laugh harder. Namjoon notices and stops tickling Jimin for a moment. He leans forward to the boy's ear whispering in it and looks at me devilishly. Judging from what they're doing i instantly knew what they were up to. Jimin suddenly runs towards me "Tickle papa, tickle." I pretend to run away scared but forget to look where. I end up running into Namjoon. He'd move to the other side of the bed as if waiting for me. "Caught you." He says in his deep morning voice. I shudder and try to run away, he pulls me into bed and we land with a tud.  
I start to laugh louder as he blows raspberries onto me too. Jimin climbs onto the bed and joins us while he giggles and claps his hands.  
"N-namjoon quit it, you're going to-" I laugh more. I can't get sentences out. It's too hard. He leans over and places a small kiss on my forehead.  
"Daddy loves papa!" Jimin says out of nowhere. It stuns me and Namjoon both. Namjoon stops tickling me and smiles at his son.  
"Yes daddy loves papa, a lot." He says sweetly.  
"What about me?" He asks shyly. I raise my body up to face him.  
"Daddy and papa both love you so much Jiminie." Namjoon says.  
"And we always will. Don't you forget that, okay." I tell him. He nods slowly sinking in what I just assure him. I tuck a stray strand of hair behind both of their ears and smile.  
"Now, who wants breakfast?" I say suddenly. Both of their heads spin up at that and I can't help but laugh  
"Me!" They say simultaneously.  
"Let's go Jiminie." He climbs up towards me and I put him down.  
"What about me?" Namjoon says pouting.  
"You need to brush your teeth and wash your face first mister." I say to him as I head out the room.  
The last thing I see is his cute little pretend pout. Honestly I have two kids.  
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To be continued   
Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.


	13. “Hello Jimin, I’m park-”

Chapter 13 (“Hello Jimin, I’m park-”)

Seokjin's pov  
It was Friday. We'd been at Namjoon's parent's house for four days now and I'm honestly homesick. I didn't have anything to do during the day. Namjoon set off to help his father and uncles during the day. Apparently they needed him to overlook some sensitive and immediate transactions related to their family business. Namjoon didn't work within his parent's infrastructure, he had his own job however he was smart enough to handle most of it. He didn't want the pressures of a life of a CEO. So when we were younger I encouraged him to choose his own path and he did. That's a long story though. Ancient even.  
Anyway it was just me, Jimin and Namjoon's mother at the house along with the maids and helpers but I didn't count them as they didn't talk as much and didn't get in the way.  
Myung sook has been driving me a little bit off the edge recently. Whenever I was around with Jimin she'd toss out some cruel comments. I did my best not to respond and just ignore her.  
Jimin on the other hand adored her. I had no control over that. She treated him alright for the most parts and always gave him toys and fruity treats. It's true that children are carefree and oblivious. They have no idea what the mood is. You'd have to explain it to them in detail for them to grasp it. But oh well. What can you do.  
Today was a particular hot day so I decided to go with Jimin to the park and maybe get some lemonade or ice-cream in town. It wasn't far. A bus ride would suffice. It'd take 10 minutes. And plus Jimin odly enough has never been on a bus. So why not start today?  
I got him ready and dressed him in a white tee, -that I'd probably regret later but it looked cute- , some casual khaki shorts and a yellow sun hat with some brown sadles to finish it off. I applied some strong sun cream on his exposed body due to his delicate skin. He whined the whole time but settled after I announced i was almost done.  
We head to the front door and was about to make our way out when Myung sook stopped us.  
"Where are you going?" I almost didn't answer.  
"To the town park for a little bit." I answer simply hoping she wouldn't say anything.  
She looks at me oddly then sighs. "I'll ring up the driver."  
"No need, we're going to take the bus."  
She stares at me in disbelief. "What? A dirty bus?"  
"Jimin's never been in one, so I thought why not today." I retort. Her face is still annoyed but she doesn't say anything else which surprises me.  
I take that as a cue to leave. The bustop was right outside the house so it was no problem. I take out my phone and decide to tell Namjoon about it. But he beats me to it as i see his Name pop up on my screen. Jimin immediately perks up "Daddy!" He smiles. I smile back at him.  
"Hi."  
"Hey babe, you going somewhere?" He questions.  
"How did you even - nevermind I know, anyway I was about to call you, we're going to the park in town for a little to get some ice cream or something." I explain.  
"You didn't take a car?" He asks  
"Nah it's close and plus you know Jimin's never been in a bus."  
"Oh, yeah that's right. Well, be safe please. Call me if anything happens."  
I chuckle, he was too sweet "Yeah don't worry."  
"I'll probably be done in an hour or so, so I'll meet you in town in little alright."  
"Yeah, that'll be great." I hand the phone over to Jimin and put it on speaker.  
"DADDY?" He shrieks into the receiver. I really feel for Namjoon's eardrums.  
"Yes baby?" He answers.  
"Are you coming to the ice cream shop?"  
"I am in a little bit, make sure you take care of papa alright? Can you do that for me?"  
Jimin's smile gets bigger and wider. "Ofcourse I can!"  
"That's good, big boy. Now I'll see you in a bit, I love you. Bye"  
"Bye Daddy. Luv you."  
"Love you too daddy." I pitch in.  
Namjoon laughs on the other line.  
I hang up just as the bus pulls up. I take Jimin's hand and we board it sitting in the second row at a window seat.  
Jimin is instantly fascinated with everything. His smile is tearing the corners if his face. Everything fascinated him. Whether it was the bus driver shifting gears, passengers getting aboard or the view outside. Currently he had his face pressed up against the half open window. I took his hat off as he stared out of it.  
"Papa it's soooo pretty!!" He remarked in aww.  
"Yeah, be careful okay, don't stick your head out." He hmms in responce.  
I've been to this place once prior. That was a few years ago. We came to meet my in-laws properly and stayed a few days. Namjoon and me took the bus on little dates to the town. It wasn't that big considering it was an off town in the east. The place had a small population and rarely enough trends or shops. Nonetheless I liked it. It was quiet and calm.  
It had a few memories and I always cherished those and now that I was here with Jimin it made it all the more special.  
We sat for about a while, the bus slowly rode along. During the ride a pretty woman boarded and sat across from us. She had blond hair and she was a midget. Small and petite.  
Jimin's energy was buzzing and he was a little bit too loud but the passagers didn't seem to mind.  
"Jiminie quiet down baby." He nods simply and sits down in his seat.  
"Is he yours?" I hear. The voice came from the lady across from us no doubt. I raise my head and smile politely at her. "Yes, this is Jimin. Jimin say hi."  
Jimin toddles over carefully and extends his hand for her. She shakes it slowly and smiles again. Her cheeks popping out and looking very cheery.  
"Hi, I'm Kim Jimin It's nice to meet you." She almost coos and i swear so do I. I was so proud of him, manners wise.  
"Hello Jimin, I'm Park Da-hyun and it's very nice to meet you both." She says sweetly offering me her hand. I accept it.  
She seems nice.  
"So, hold old are you Mr.Jimin?" Jimin blushes and starts crossing his fingers together. He was flustered, I could tell.  
"Im 3 and a half!"  
"Ooh you're a big boy then." She continues to flatter him. He ofcourse enjoys the attention.  
"Would you like a candy bar?" She says holding a small bounty to him, he smiles brightly and looks up at me for permission.  
Da-hyun also looks up awaiting for my responce. "I'm sorry but he can't, he's allergic. That was nice of you though. Thank you."  
She frowns slightly. So does Jimin.  
"Allergic? To chocolate?" She says stunned.  
"Not quite, rather coconut." I explain earning an understanding nod from her.  
We sit in silence for a little while. Da-hyun hasn't taken her eyes off of Jimin. She looks perpexed and amazed.  
"Do you have children?" I question out of curiosity.  
She perks up at my sudden question. Her face turns sad for a second.  
"Well, sort of." I raise an eyebrow at her responce. She takes the hint and continues "Me and my husband were expecting but I had miscarriages. Twice now, we're still hopefull though." She ends quietly.  
"Oh, I'm sorry. Courage though. Things like this happen." I attempt to cheer her up.  
She smiles again. "Absolutely. We haven't lost hope! One day I'll have a little boy myself."  
"Ofcourse." I conclude.  
"Papa look it's Daddy!" Jimin shrieks standing up in his seat. I look over and see Namjoon leaning at the side of a car in the parking lot. Jimin waves and smiles brightly trying to call out to him.  
"Papa? Daddy?" Da-hyun suddenly questions.  
"Yes, my husband." I say casually gathering my bags as the bus pulls to stop.  
"It was nice meeting you." I bid her farewell.  
"Oh, my stop's here too."  
We walk out together. She bows slightly and walks off before saying a cheery goodbye to Jimin.  
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To be continued  
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you all


	14. Jimin!

Chapter 14 (Jimin!)

Seokjin's pov  
We stand at the side of the road and wait for the bus to move along. Jimin waves Da-hyun off and she waves back. What a nice lady.  
Namjoon stands at the other side of the road waiting for us. Jimin spots him and calls out to him. He takes a step forward onto the street leaving the pavement and the air from my body dissapears.  
He wasn't holding my hand or rather I wasn't holding his. He starts to sprint his way over to Namjoon, I reach out immediately. I miss him. He runs half way into the street and I run after him without even looking too. I can vaguely see Namjoon's alerted face in the distance as he panics as well.  
"Jimin!" I scream.  
He stops suddenly and stands on the white line in the middle. A car was was nearing closer and zoomed past infront of me before I could make it to him. I couldn't see him. I couldn't see him!  
I swore I saw darkeness. It went black. How could i have let him slipped past me like that. Why wasn't i paying attention?  
A few more cars zoomed by still blocking us. Couldn't they see a little boy in the middle of the road. Where did all these cars suddenly come from? I feel my chest burn for some reason. Like I wasn't breathing properly. I held my breath and coughed a bit. I refused to let it distract me.  
Finally the last one passed by and there he was, I could see him. He had his hands over his eyes like he did when he got scared.  
"Jimin!"  
I run towards him, pick him up and bring him to the pavement. He was on the verge of tears. Namjoon quickly joined in. His face was horrified.  
I quickly crouch down to him and remove his hands from his eyes and hold his palms away from his face.  
"Jimin what were you doing? Huh? answer me? Why did you do that? I've told you before! Haven't I? Why did you run into the street like that? Why?" He starts to cry. Snot and tears gliding down his face. A whole mess.  
Namjoon places his hand on my shoulder. I look up at him. He gives me a sad but worried look.  
I realise I was screaming. I let out a breath and cough slightly. Taking another deep breath I release Jimin's hands. It flies to his eyes as he cries heavily in them. He tries to wipe away the tears but it useless. Namjoon crouches down as well. Were in a small circle on a pavement now.  
Jimin cries his eyes out. I feel bad not just for screaming but for being careless.  
I shift my body around kneeling down on my knees with my butt sat on the ball of my feet. I didn't care if my jeans were getting dirty. I pull the crying boys body into mine. He cries onto my shoulder clutching the material of my shirt collar tightly. Namjoon rubs slow waves on his back. I let him cry.  
After about a minute his cries simmer down and turn to sniffles. Detaching his small frame from my body I make him stand up properly.  
His looks at the ground and fiddles with his chubby fingers.  
"Look at me baby." I say. He reluctantly lifts his head up. I take a wet wipe out of my bag and clean his face up.  
"I'm sowy." He manages with his head down again "Don't be mad at me."  
My heart does a small somersault but lends on its face.  
"I know you are, and we're not mad at you." He raises his little head again as if he was relieved.  
"Why are you crying papa?" He asks.  
I didn't even realise I was crying. I didn't feel the tears until he pointed them out. It literally felt like my eyes flashed before my eyes. What if something had gone wrong? What if I didn't get him out in time.  
Namjoon uses the pads of his thumbs and brushes them away. He places a kiss on my temple.  
"Papa's was scared Jimin. So was I. You could have gotten hurt. You should never let go of papa's hand. Okay? Do you understand me?" Namjoon says firmly.  
"Yes." Jimin croaks.  
I let out another heavy breath. My mind was still dazed. My chest was still burning.  
I take his hands in my hand again and press our forheads together closing my eyes. "Listen to me Jimin. If something happened to you daddy and papa would be very sad. We would cry. You need to be careful for us. Never do that again okay. Please don't." I say carefully.  
"I won't."  
"Good."  
Namjoon carries Jimin on his shoulders and we make our way to the icecream parlour.  
As we walk I feel eyes peering at me. Like im being watched. I turn my head around and spot someone standing in the far distance. I can't make out exactly who it is but they were definitely looking at us. As soon as my eyes land on them they turn around and walk away.  
What?   
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To be continued  
Thank you for reading. I appreciate your time :)  
A song recommendation cause why the hell not...   
One last time by Summer salt


	15. Eww, they use smurfs?”

Chapter 15 (Eww, they use smurfs?”)

Seokjin's pov  
We make our way into the ice cream shop. It looks old but clean. The rustic and vintage furniture are decoratively placed around tables and in some casual places around the area.  
The place was fairly empty. I didn't mind that though. I actually enjoyed it. Jimin squirms from Namjoon's hold as he pats his head begging to be let down. Namjoon raises him up and off placing him onto the ground.  
As soon as he's loose he sprints to the large display case. He breathes against the glass as his mouth hangs agape at all the colours.  
"What's that one daddy?" He asks pointing towards a red, blue and white colour.  
"That's smurf, it's um-"  
"Eww, they use smurfs? That's really bad." He says surprised. The servers behind the counter chuckle at his cuteness and admit that they got that a lot from kids.  
"No baby they don't, they just call it that because of the colour." He 'ahhs' in realisation.  
We spent nearly 8 minutes picking a flavour. Jimin struggled between getting the smurf flavour or the yellow one that he claimed looked like his stuff dog; Chimmy. After explaining that it was lemon flavoured and it wouldn't taste sweet for the eight time I gave up. We originally had told him to only choose one flavour but since he was persisitent and since I was weak to pouty faces and baby doll eyes he got what he wanted.  
As expected though he grimaced at the taste as soon as he put it inside his mouth. Namjoon ended up eating it.  
After the ice-cream shop we headed to the park. Jimin played until he exhausted himself and fell asleep. Namjoon and I decided to spend the rest of the late afternoon together. We drove to a spot near an enormous lake that we knew about.  
The last time we came here we stayed out at night, enjoying each other's company as wierd newly promised couples. Along with just enjoying each other's company we also got down to some pretty dark things. Let's just say fucking at his parents' house even back then was still a big NO NO.  
However going back to that spot was a euphoria full of memories. It hadn't changed much. The weeds around the lake were still the same maybe a little longer and wilder, other than that it looked untouched.  
We got out of the car and stood outside against it. Namjoon was to my back, hugging my waist from behind as I laid my head back onto his chest. It was nice. Very nice. It felt calming and I just wanted to stay there. The sun had begun to set and we just stayed and watched it.  
However I wasn't fully able to think straight. Stuff was still lingering at the back of my mind about today's events. I almost lost my baby out of carelessness. We almost lost our child, our glue, our little Jiminie. I don't know what I would've done and how I would've been. Probably border line mental.  
"What's wrong?" I hear. Of course it was Namjoon and ofcourse he instantly notices I am upset.  
"Nothing." I bait.  
"Don't do that, don't bait me. Tell me what's on your mind." He says. I'm honestly not shocked that he read my mind. He had the tendency to do that.  
"Just thinking." I responded.  
"About earlier?"  
"...yeah."  
Namjoons lets out an exasperated sigh. "I was scared too." He admits.  
"Not just for Jimin though. I was on the other side watching unable to do anything, unable to get to the both of you. All I saw was my little baby boy running onto the road and my other baby running after him." He continues.  
"I was terrified. Absolutely terrified, so much could have happened in that small amount of time. I could've lost you and Jimin in less than a second without even being able to do anything." Another sigh escapes him, this one was hitched.  
"I'm sorry." I admit.  
"What?"  
I turn over and bury my head in his chest. "I'm sorry I let him slip past me"  
"Jin, I know it wasn't your fault. Jimin sometimes doesn't think before he does something. I'd never blame you."  
"I know. But I just feel bad." I snif.  
"Don't, we can't change the past, dwelling on it isn't going to help in any way. He's here now safe and sound." He was right. We both look over to the sleeping boys frame in the backseat, he's still passed out. I give him a small 'mhm' as I admire the little angel sleeping carefree huddled up into a little ball.  
Namjoon's always going to be my support system. Nomatter what, he makes me better. "I love you."  
He racks his hand through the back of my hair. It feels nice. "I love you too Jinnie."  
"On a different note, what happened to you that night?" I look up at him.  
"No idea what you're talking about." He says quickly avoiding eye contact.  
"You dummy, you were drunk and woozy saying a bunch of dumb shit."  
"Hey! It wasn't dumb, I was being honest."  
"So you do remember being horny as hell and climbing all over me?" I ask.  
He gives me a doubtful look. I know he remembers and I know he's shying away from it.  
I shake my head.  
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To be continued  
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you all.  
Song recommendation: Midsummer madness - 88RISING (ft. Joji & Rich Brian & Higher Brothers & AUGUST 08


	16. Don’t talk to that woman

Chapter 16 (Don’t talk to that woman.)

Seokjin's pov  
It was nearing night time now and we we're still at the lake. The light was slowly fading leaving only a soft peachy and creamy glow to the sky. Jimin was still asleep in the back and Namjoon was still hugging me from behind. We had sat down on the old concrete road near the water and talked about stuff.  
I believe in talking to get your stress out, it helps and Namjoon is such a great listener. He offers suggestion, always brings my spirits up and knows what to say tge majority of the time, even when I rant about stupid things. I like to think we help each other in a sence.  
Currently I was in between his legs, sat comfortably with my hands on his tighs that were propped up. He releases a calm breath and so do I. This was what I enjoyed.  
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"Papa?" I hear from behind me coming from the car. Looks like Jimin's awake.  
"Yes baby? We're outside, come out."  
I hear the sound of the door opening and the slaps of Jimin's sandals against the road. He walks round to the both of us and blinks his eyes a few time. He was slowly waking up again and looked absolutely adorable. The hair on his head was messy and his face was scrunched up.  
He lazily walks closer towards us holding his arms out. I knew what he wanted; a hug.  
He finally makes his way to me and hugs me loosely. Such a clingy baby.  
"You okay?" I ask.  
"Mhm.... I'm hungry."  
Namjoon chuckles from behind me. "What do you want to eat then Jimin?" He asks.  
As he thinks for a moment he sits between my folded legs and spreads his little feet to the side. "I want pizza!"  
Namjoon thinks for a minute. "What do you think papa? Should we go out for pizza?"  
"I think it's a great idea."  
Half an hour later we're sitting in a small pizza joint. Jimin was once again hyped. He was jumping out of his seat and getting impatient. I tried to calm him down but it was useless.  
After ordering we waited for our drinks. They came shortly afterwards. I had ordered Sprite and Namjoon, a coke. Jimin opted for a large strawberry milkshake that I doubt he'd finish.  
After a few minutes or so our drinks arrive. It's a different waitress. As I examine her face a nostalgic feelings creeps up my spine. Her blond hair and petite figure give it away.  
"Here are you're drinks. Enjoy." She says.  
Im about to call out to her but Jimin beats me to it.  
"Papa it's the lady from the bus! Hi!" Jimin waves excitedly holding out his other hand to shake it.  
She looks up and smiles. "Oh!"   
"Oh hello again." She says softly slowly realising who we were.  
"Hi, so you work here?" I ask.  
"Oh, yes. For a few months now." She giggles.  
I look over at Namjoon, he has a confused expressions plastered on his face but he's still smiling.  
"Oh Namjoon this is um.."  
"Park Da-hyun." She pitches in extending her hand out and bowing slightly.  
"Yes sorry, we met in the bus. And this is my husband Kim Namjoon."  
"Nice to meet you as well." She says looking at Namjoon for a particularly long time. Her gaze lingers for a second too long to be normal. Her smile was too bright to be normal in that moment.  
"Likewise." Namjoon says.  
"Well, I have to head back to work, it was nice to see you again. And you too Jimin!" She says brightly dabbing his nose with her index finger making him giggle before disapearing to wait another table.  
I look over to Namjoon. He's smiling as he sips his drink.  
I point a finger at his. "Don't talk to that woman again."  
"Uh? What?"  
"You heard me."  
The confused expression on his face is too priceless. After a second he starts chuckling. "What?" I ask.  
"Nothing." He says between chuckles.  
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To be continued  
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you all.  
Song recommendation: We don't talk together : Heize - (Feat.Giriboy) (Prod. SUGA)


	17. “You’re sick you know that?”

Chapter 17 (“You’re sick you know that?”)

Namjoon's pov  
"So... " I start as I roll over to an almost sleeping Seokjin on the other side of the bed.  
He opens his eyes slightly and looks at me. "What?" He he mumbles into the pillow. I could tell he was tired and probably wanted me to evaporate. Leaning over closer I pull his sleeping frame from lying on his stomach to his sides so that he's lying on my arm and looking towards me.  
The mix of grumbles and annoyed grunts that follows tell me to piss off but I don't listen.  
"Why did you tell me not to talk to that lady?"  
"Namjoon go to sleep." He says with a heavy voice closing his eyes and falling back to sleep.  
I don't want to take that so I keep trying to pester him. This might end up with me getting hit either in the stomach, the face or in the balls but is it worth it? Yes, very.  
His pyjama shirt falls over on his stomach as it was too big for his smaller frame, that was probably because they were mine! From time to time he'd steal my large old tees and pyjama shirts for god knows what reason. I didn't mind though. Sometimes he would prance around the house wearing it and nothing else but his boxers. I have to close my legs and not look at him when he does. Especially if Jimins toddling around.  
Today was one of those days. It was hotter tonight so he opted for more comfort.  
The fact that he had his legs spread out leaving the arch of his hips on display was sinful. The shirt ofcourse wasn't helping considering it was a peach coloured satin material. He look dangerous. Ready and fucking sexy.  
I take a risk and press my body closer to him-my head in his neck.  
He shuffles followed by a ray of inaudible sounds that I can only asume are cusses.  
I drape my arm around his hips.  
"Namjoon~" he whines. "It's hot. Go away."  
I don't move. I don't know why, but I just feel like stepping on his buttons. I suppose every couple has at one point. I know for a fact that whenever I get told to piss off when I want to cuddle I annoy him till he either gets mad or gives in. I was hopping for the better version this time. Plus I am very horny.  
Its been days. It's a good thing we were leaving soon.  
"Namjoon." He warns.  
"Yeah?"   
"What do you want?"  
It took eveything in me to not say 'your ass'.  
"For you to answer my question!" I say simply.  
"Cause you don't know her!"  
"Neither do you." I retort   
"Why are we even still talking about her?"   
"Because you told me to immediatly stop talking to her after I had said one line." I chuckle.  
"This discussion is over, stop breathing in my neck and go to bed please."  
"I can't."   
"Well I can so with every bit of respect, piss off."  
I don't say anything after that for a minute. It looks like he's asleep.  
I lean a little closer to his ear making sure my lips were touching the skin behind them. "I'm horny Jin."  
"Jesus, you're-" I cut his complains off by pushing my lips against his. His breath hitches and he breathes through his nose from the shock.  
I let go after a little. The annoyed expression on his face bites at me.  
"You're sick. You know that?"  
"Sick for yo-" "shut the fuck up, don't you dare finish that stupid sentence."  
Oh yeah I definitely struck a nerve. Should've probably pissed off. Now he's not going to talk to talk to me all day tomorrow. I expected it though.  
Jin pushes his body upwards pushing me off. He moves over to the middle of the bed. Was he going to sleep in Jimin's room?  
I watch as he climbs over me assuming he's heading to the door. But suddenly he stops. He leans down towards my pyjama pants and tugs at them.  
"Woah, what the-" I say in distress yanking my pants up.  
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To be continued  
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you all for your time and feedback.  
Song recommendation: Chicken noodle soup - J-hope feat Becky G :D The song is a bop!!!!!


	18. “Fu-fuck.”

Chapter 18 (“Fu-fuck.”)

Namjoon's pov  
"What do you mean 'what'? Isn't this what you wanted?" I'm not sure what I want now. He pushes my hand away and digs out my member. Jin begins to stroke the lenght a few times in a cleverly sequences pattern. I sit up leaning back on my palms enjoying the sight before me.  
I'm baffled, sure we've done this plentieth times but I am taken aback by his sudden action.  
He's not going to bite my dick off is he, course not. But what are the odds. And didn't he say no sex at my parents' house.  
My thoughts are interupted by a wet moist cavern swallowing the top of my lenght and giving it a new, more satisfying feeling.  
"Ohhh" I let out unintentionally. He swirls his tongue around the tip. I feel the precum practically ooze out and Jin sucking it up. He seems genuine about it. The slight licks of his mushy-like tongue was doing wonders to my dick. Glorified goosebumps crippled up my arms as waves of satisfaction flow through me body.  
He sucks hard going down to the very bottom taking me all the way. Jesus Christ, what the fuck? He hallows his cheeks making it impossible for me to not toss my head back.  
I knew he was mad and all but damn angry blow jobs are always the best.  
His head startes to bop giving birth to a whole new form of friction pattern.  
"Fuck."  
I reach over to his head and place my fingers in his hair. It seems to feel better to hold something other than the sheets. He goes up and down mimicking the rhythm to absolutely perfection. Sweat forms on my forehead.  
A satisfied moan escapes my mouth as he goes faster. Just watching him turns me on. The loose shirt showed off his chest and part of his shoulders.  
They hung off of him to great lenghts branding him sexy.  
"I thought you said no sex in the house!?" I say but instantly regret it after he stops and looks up towards me with crossed eyes. The lack of friction forces a sigh out of me.  
"You want me to stop then?" He asks sassily.  
"You kind of already have." He glares. He gets like this when he's sleepy. I kind of feel bad. Slightly.  
"Baby just, can you-" I start while gesturing at my erect member. He looks at me again. "You're glad you're my husband."  
"And the fact that you love me."  
"Hmm don't push it."  
He ducks his head back down resuming the process.   
It's wild and violent as if he was forcing the cream out of me. I can't lie I honestly love it. My head gets a little fuzzy as I feel the familiar build up in my stomach. At the accelerated pace Jin's going now I'm almost on the edge. He takes me in all the way to the hilt, the tip of my cock hitting the back of his throat.  
"Fu-fuck." I utter. My hands once again fly to his hair as I try to contain my orgasm long enough. My muscles clench. "Ji-jin I'm- fuck!" My load rips through my body like a water balloon being popped. It feels amazing, that's what you get for not getting any all week. He swallows the cum dripping from his lips and uses his hands to put my dick back in my pants.  
"Wait don't you want me to-"  
"No. I wanna sleep."  
"But aren't you-"  
"Horny? Yes. But i can control myself." He states cheekily as he lies back on the bed resuming his sleeping position on my arm while facing me. He cuddles oh so close and almost instantly falls asleep.  
"Night baby. And thanks." I say with a kiss to his forehead.  
"You're welcome. But now please... go.to.sleep."  
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To be continued  
Thanks for reading. I genuinely appreciate it. :)  
Song recommendation: With me : Sum 41


	19. “I’m going to the hospital.”

Chapter 19 (“I’m going to the hospital.”)

Seokjin's pov  
"You should really try to help out more, it's only the most sensible thing to do." I hear. Its Myung sook again. She's on my case yet again. We're both in the kitchen, it wasn't even 8 am yet.  
I really want to try. After all you'd want your parents in law to like you. Namjoon's father doesn't seem to have an issue with me at all. We've had brief conversations but although they were short he still seemed like he genuinely appreciated me.  
"Are you listening to me?" She says waving her hands in the air as she stood behind the counter.  
"Yes I am." I say bluntly. She gives me a look and leaves the room. I've learned that if I dont entertain her then she just gets bored and leaves.  
We've been here longer than expected, we were originally suppose to be here throughout the weekend and leave Monday evening however due to the additional "tasks" that Namjoon and his father didn't anticipate we had cancelled out flight back and stayed a few more days.  
I was getting really homesick. I missed cooking in my kitchen, going to work, I even missed work. I was getting worried about jimin missing school too. Yes it's just a few days but i wanted him to always attend and learn as much as he could.  
After finishing breakfast and washing all the dishes left by that woman I head upstairs to wake Jimin.  
I peak into his room and see a little ball tucked partially into the duvet hugging a yellow stuffed dog?  
As I get closer I see his little body hidden away. He precious little head of dirty blond hair was prominent amongst the white sheets. He was purring softly.  
"Baby wake up." I shake him lightly.  
"Mmmm" he responds, his voice muffled and tired.  
"Do you want to sleep some more?"  
"Mmm." I get in response. I almost coo at the cuteness. He moves over in his sleep and tries to place himself into another position. I notice right away that something was up. "Jimin, are you ok baby?" He doesn't answer.  
I place my hand over his forehead and sure enough it's warm slighgly edging to hot. A fever was building up. I seemed like a small one but nonetheless it looked like it was making him uncomfortable.  
I leave the room and decide to let him sleep some more. Deciding to take him to the hospital afterwards before it develops into a full-on flu.  
I head to Namjoon's bedroom to get myself ready for the day. After that I make my way downstairs to the study where Namjoon was with his father and his uncles. Apparently they were finalising a few minor touches to their plans.  
Namjoon had muttered something about them explanding the company or investing into some tech solution. I didn't really understand him ranting about his business savy things but I know that much about it.  
The hallway to study was a long corridor with lots of abstracted paintings along it. Some of which made sence and looked decent. The others looked damn expensive and trashy. The hallway also had this long carpet with interesting designs over its corners, quite elegant if you asked me.  
I finally make it to the door and was about to knock when a voice stopped me. "Seokjin!" I turn around and see her standing at the end of the hall. "What are you doing?"  
"I need to talk to Namjoon." I turn around and attempt knock again but she cuts me off.  
"They're very busy. Leave them be, you'll talk to Namjoon later." She was scolding me like I was a child. Even looking at me like I was one now that she was close to me.  
"It's important I need to tell him something."  
"Can't it wait?"  
"No." I say quickly and knocking soon after.  
The look she gave me glared daggers of disbelief and shock at me. I didn't care honestly, I kind of felt proud. She didn't move from her standing.   
Soon after the door opens. Namjoon's father looks at the us, an eyebrow stuck to his forehead.  
"Um, yes?"  
"It's alright honey we were just leaving, don't mind us."  
The nerve of this lady.  
"No, actually may I speak to Namjoon please. It's important."  
Mr.Kim smiles slightly and beckons Namjoon over while Myung sook leaves in frustration. Her husband doesn't seem too bothered he just watches her throw a little hissy fit down the hall.  
"I know she's a handful, but bear with her attitude will you." He says while placing a comforting hand on my shoulder and a sympathetic smile on his face. He walks off after that and Namjoon walks out.  
"Hey, something the matter?"  
"I'm going to the hospital." Probably not the best choice of words because as soon as I said that his whole face frowned and his hands flew straight to my face, checking it over, lifting my chin and feeling my forehead like mad.  
"What!? Are you sick, did something happen? Are you coughing again? Is there any bloo-"  
"Namjoon!" I say stopping him. He stops and looks at me. "What!?"  
I let out a breath. "I'm fine, calm down. It's Jimin. I think he's starting to run a fever. And I don't have my medication here so I'm just going to pop to the hospital to check him over okay." I remove his hands from my face and squeeze them slightly.  
"Oh." His face lightens up again slightly. "Do you want me to come with."  
"No. Stay and finish your thing. We'll be okay."  
"Alright call me when you finish. And take my dad's car."  
"No that's fine I'll take the bus-"  
"You said Jimin was sick, he'll probably not even want to walk."  
Before I could protest Namjoon was pulling me into the room. His two uncles were sitting at a large wodden desk looking over some giant papers and blueprints. Laptops were scattered everywhere.  
When his uncles notice me they each pulled a smile and said a brief hello. Uncle Morty walks over and gives me a few pats on the back. I definitely liked them. They were warm and inviting. Never shy to anything and always nice.  
After Namjoon finished talking to his dad he walks back to me and hands me a set of keys.  
"Here you go."  
"Thank you."  
He walks me out and we separate with a quick kiss.  
After getting Jimin ready and making sure he had plenty of fluids we make our way out the house. I send Namjoon a quick text telling him we were leaving. He walks out and waves us off after showering a grumpy, pouty little chubby Jimin with kisses.  
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To be continued   
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you all.  
Song recommendation: Dollar Becky G, Myke Towers


	20. “Where’s your husband?”

Chapter 20 (“Where’s your husband?”)

Seokjin's pov  
We reach the hospital in about 20 minutes. Jimin's still sleeping when i park the car, snuggled up in a little blanket in the back.  
I feel his forehead again it's still warm. I carry him out of the car and we make our way to the hospital. There are a few people sitting on the couches in the waiting room. The depressing atmosphere matches the beige furniture well. They compliment the late morning rays that were shining through the room.  
The wating area is opposite of the reception desk. As I carry Jimin over he opens his eyes slightly.  
"P..apa?"  
"Hmm?" I respond  
"W-where are we going?" He asks, his voice raw and raspy but relatively still soft. I decide not to answer and just stroke his head to try and lull him back to sleep.  
We reach the empty desk and wait for someone to show up. I re-ajust Jimin on my shoulder so that his face can see the where I'm facing. A second later a lady walks out of the back room. She's wearing minor scrubs and her golden hair is bunned up. As she spins around she stops in her tracks.  
"Oh!" She utters.  
Her prominent smile appears a moment later as she moves foward and sits down at the low table.  
"Hello again, we must stop meeting like this." She says chuckling slightly.  
I smile in return. "Hello again Da-hyun. You work here? I thought you worked at the dinner!"  
She smiles brightly again. "Oh, yes I work there part time, so only on weekends. This is my real job."  
"Oh, you must always be very busy."  
"You have no idea." She says as she chucklea again.  
"So, what can I help you with? I'm seeing a depressed little Jimin in your arms, I'm guessing he's not well." She claims as she attempts to wave at him.  
Jimin doesn't acknowledge her. He simply tugs even tigher at my collar and buries his head in my neck.  
"Jiminie, aren't you going to say hello?" I ask stroking his cheek with the pad of my thumb.  
He shakes his head and whimpers.  
"Its alright Seokjin-ssi, he must be feeling unwell."  
"Yeah, so how long will it take to see a doctor?"  
She types something in the computer and then opens a file that was laid out on the counter. After searching through it she pulls out a form.  
Da-Hyun hands me a paper with a clip board and a pen. "Because you're not from around here we will need you to fill this out please. And it shouldn't take long for you to see a doctor. They're all present today."  
I nod in understanding and make my way back to the waiting room and place Jimin down in an arm chair. At least I try to. He clutches my collar refusing to let go. "Jimin papa needs to write something down. I'll be sitting right next to you okay?" He doesn't comply and keeps his grip on my shirt which by now looks like it wasn't ironed at all. At times like this I really regret refusing Namjoon's offer to join us. I let out a sigh and pick him back up placing him in my lap. He snuggles further into me as I try to messily fill out the form.  
After a few more minutes I walk over to the desk again and hand Da-hyun the form, she asks me to wait for my name to be called.  
After a long agonising and difficult process of getting Jimin to warm up to the doctors and nurses so that they could do a simple check up on him, we were finally heading to the prescription window.  
We met Da-hyun there again. It didn't really surpise me that much though.  
"How was the process?" she asks while taking the paper that the doctors gave me to set the medication aside.  
I give her a small sympathetic smile. She nods in understanding.  
"That bad huh?"  
"You have no idea, Jimin's scared of practically anything. Stethoscopes, pressure pumps, flashlights. You name it."  
She giggles in response. "Cute."  
"At least he's got that." Another giggle escapes her as she covers her mouth with hand.  
After getting the stuff she wanted she begins ticking the medicine bottles with a sharpie. "So, where's your husband?" She suddenly asks out of the blue. The question startles me a little making me spin my head around fast and bumbing into the sleeping boy on my chest.  
I look her over and try to think about whether she actually asked that.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to be rude, that must have been so out of line. I just, you came here alone a-and the accident the other day-"  
"You saw that?" Wait what? I thought she left. Could she have been the person i saw in the distance?  
"Unfortunately yes, it scared the bejeezus out of me. I wanted to intervene but I notice that you had got him our just in time. God I was afraid."  
Her mentioning that event made my heart go silent. It was definitely not pleasent. And to top it all of she may be silently judging me. I could've lost him that day. In the bink of an eye. No more cute little laugh, no soft little dirty blond head of hair running around the house causing chaos, no smart little know-it-all running his mouth with daddy thinking he could beat him in math, nobody waking him at 6 am excited to go to school. No more Jimine...  
"Seokjin? Seokjin?" The voice causes me snap back to reality.  
I look over at the her. "Sorry did i strike a nerve?" She asks softly.  
"No, no it's fine. I was just thinking."  
"Sorry."  
She gives me the medication and we make our way out. I don't say a goodbye, I dont feel it necessary. Not because i was angry at her but because she made me realise something that i hadn't even.  
I buckle the sleeping corpse in the backseat and we head back to the estate.  
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To be continued  
Thanks for reading this trash. Idk where its going. I appreciate you all though.  
Song recommendation: Michael Giacchino - Married life


	21. ‘What ifs’

Chapter 21 (‘What ifs’)

Seokjin's Pov  
In about half an hour later we make it back to the estate. By then the afternoon sun had already started to set and it was slowly getting dark.  
As I pull into the gates i notice Namjoon standing outside in the car hanger where they park the cars that theyre going to use soon. He waves slightly and smiles once I get out.  
"How did it go?" He asks pecking my lips. "Fine, he's alright. Just a flu."  
Namjoons walks over and retrieves the sleepy baby from the car.  
"Papa?" He calls out quietly.  
"No. It's daddy. How are you little man?" Namjoons asks the little boy while patting his hair as he sat his head in the crook of his dad's neck. Cute scenes. I loved watching them.  
Jimin didn't answer he just snuggled deeper into his dad. Knowing fully well that he was safe and could be spoilt.  
We made our way upstairs setting Jimin to bed and walking back downstairs into the backyard kiosk.  
Namjoons hand took mine's and we sat down at chairs.  
"So what's up?" He asks after a couple of seconds.  
"What do you mean?"  
He reaches his hand up and caresses my hair that was lying on his shoulder.  
"You know what I mean. You seem off. Did something happen today? Was it my mom? Dad said she was at the door when u came to see me earlier."  
"Im practically immune to your devil mother by now. As long as she doesn't hurt my son I'm fine I can handle anything she throws."  
"Our son!" Namjoon states  
A row of peach coloured tint dusts my cheeks. "You know what i mean!" I exclaim.  
"Alright, if it wasn't mom. Then what?"  
"Nothing..."  
"Jin, come one we need to communicate. I won't know if you don't tell me. Is it the coughing are you feelin-"  
"No, god no. That's over and done with. Seriously will you stop fussing."  
"Then?"  
"It's just something somebody said to me. It triggered my thoughts-" "And you started overthinking!"  
"Yeah..." I wasn't even surprised. He knows me too well.  
He urges me to go on.  
"It's about the thing that happened with Jimin. She mentioned seeing what happened and it got me thinking about what if the opposite would have happened?"  
"She?" Namjoon questions. "The lady from the dinner. Da-hyun, she works at the hospital as well. Anyway she mentioned seeing what happened and being scared for us. And like I said she got me thinking about what would have happened if we weren't so lucky. What if Jimin... disappeared that day...and...and he was just gone forever. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It would've been my fault. I still think about the fact that he was there next to me and I didn't hold his hand. We were at the damn sidewalk for god sake. A bus had gone by. Why didn't I hold his hand. He could've been injured or worst he could've-"  
Namjoon shifts he became body from under my head and turns his body towards me, a sad expression drooling down his face. He cups my cheeks and pulls my head slightly towards his lips and leaves a lingering kiss on my forehead.  
"Baby listen to me, it wasn't your fault. Don't do this to yourself it was a mistake. You're a damn amazing parent. Never forget that. Jimin loves you, I love you we're okay. We can't live on 'what ifs' moments we need to focus on the now. Focus on me." He says soothingly. Our bodies still close to each other.  
I could feel the beating of his heart. The escalated rhythm calms me down slowly and i tried to do as he had said. Focus on him. I honestly am so lucky to have him in my life. I would be a lost cause without him, my thoughts would overtake my common senses and destroy me slowly.  
He presses another kiss to my forehead lovingly. "I love you, so much. Thank you."  
He smiles as we lean back onto the sofa cushions. "I absolutely love you too." He says making me giggle.  
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"Oh and by the way we'll be leaving tomorrow or the day after that."  
"Finally! I wanna cook in my own kitchen again and go back to work already. Im pretty sure Hyunjin is pissed with my extanded break."  
Namjoon chuckles  
"You're boss can't say anything. You rarely take breaks, you've got enough vacation days."  
"True but I'm the best worker so, they're lost by now." I brag earning another chuckle from the latter.  
"Hah, I don't like him that much."  
"Oh I know you don't! You're a jealous bean! Always have been." I accuse him while pocking his chest.  
"Can you blame me? You're you!" The comment causes me to blush hiding myself in his neck.   
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After about a few minutes of tranquility and peace of me lovingly getting some well deserved and well missed cuddle times from my husband a loud squeaky unmistakable high pitch scream jolts me to attention.  
"Papa!!!" Jimin screams from the distance. I look towards the source of the cat call and see Jimin draped over his grandpa's back waving towards us. That poor man. Jimin isn't exactly light.  
"Dad, you'll hurt your back. Dont spoil him." Namjoon says at the sight of his out of breath father.  
"Nonsense. He weighs nothing. You gotta get some exercise one way or another."  
"Uh huh." Namjoons remarks unconvinced at him while trying his best to not laugh.  
"Papa?" Jimin calls out again making cute grabby hands at me. He slides down his grandfather's back sleekly and runs towards me.  
"What is it my little baby?"  
"Im hungwy?" I rest a palm to his head. It's still a little warm but seems to be cooling.  
"Alright, medicine first though so you can grow big and strong." He makes a sour face but nods at the compliment.  
"That child is unbelievably whipped to you Seokjin. Myung sook and I asked him several times if he was hungry and he said no each time. Stating he wanted to go to his dads."  
I look towards the little blond standing in between my legs. "Papa's boy." I say pocking his nose making him giggle.  
"Come on dinner's ready and Myung sook is inside waiting." Mr.Kim annouces as he leads the way back.  
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To be continued  
Thank you for reading as always.  
Song recommendation : Run away- TXT


	22. LUNCH

Chapter 22 (LUNCH)

Seokjin's pov  
It had taken me nearly 15 minutes to try and sort out Namjoon's suitcase. I just dont understand it. It closed when we flew here, why won't it do that now. We didn't even buy anything. Frustrated, I take everything out and try to sort it out for the seventh time.  
I was slowly reaching my limit and was close to leaving it there for him to deal with.  
Maybe fixing it on the bed was the issue. I thought. An idea had me swept. I pull the black heavy luggage off the bed and it lends on the floor with a thump making a ruckus.  
"Hah" I let out a sigh. Little patches of sweat were slowly building on my forehead. Curse this damn suitcase. I stand myself up and stretch my bavk out.  
"You're too much of a perfectionist you know that?" A familiar, but in this case annoying voice says from behind me somwhere.  
"Yeah and your stupid suitcase is rigged. I packed this before we came here how is it not closing?" I look towards the door where my husband was standing and our son was sitting up on his shoulders. He had his hands in Namjoon's hair picking at the strands and messily making a mess out of it while singing some wierd nursery rhyme.  
"Aren't you the one who said we shouldn't spoil him by carrying him around all the time?"   
Namjoon gives me a lazy and dumb smile.  
"I never said that!" He states while avoiding my eyes.  
"Uh huh. You're sick. Whipped even." I say earning a chuckle.  
"Let me do it." He offers while placing a pouty Jimin in the floor. He walks up to me and pulls on my jeans.  
"Hmm?"  
"I'm hungrwey." His modest little attitude was too cute for his own good. Nonetheless it still made me smile.  
"My baby is always hungry." I say nuzzling his thick golden locks.  
"How about we go out for lunch? The diner?" Namjoon suggests while childishly sitting on the suitcase in attempts to zip it. I'd bet everything that he's going to break that zipper.  
I check the time and it's pretty early. 11:04! Our flight was 10:00 pm anyway. Plenty of time but should we? Myung sook is bound to have lunch ready soon.  
"You're over thinking. Stop it. The flight is hours away." Namjoon says yet again reading my mind.  
I give in finally earning an excited squeal from Jimin.  
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"Alright. Lets go."  
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Half an hour later we're sitting at the very same dinner we went to the other day. Jimin is devouring the kiddie sized pizza infront of him like a savage. Food is everywhere. His chin, checks and forehead are all covered with cheesy grease. I snap a quick picture.  
I should be immune to this by now you would think but i wasn't, not when I look over to his father and it's the same picture. Namjoon is seriously an adult baby, although he doesn't have food all over his forehead there's still an abnormal amount on his chin and cheeks. I snap a picture of him as well. A sigh of frustration and lowkey satisfaction forcefully escapes me.  
I swiftly reach over with a napkin much to both of their annoyed reactions and clean them both off.  
After finishing, we pay and head to the park. Jimin wanted to play in the sand box. I reluctantly agree while Namjoon goes off to get ice cream.  
Its was 1:36 pm now. The breeze was kicking in fast. Luckily I dressed Jimin in a thick yellow little jacket and some grey sweats. I watched from the bench close by as he spoke to himself making up some imaginary story about space adventures and landing on a deserted planet covered with sand. He zoomed his stuffed dog toy into the sand squealing, giggling and laughing as he did. Hahh my innocent little baba.  
What would my life be if you weren't in it.  
"Hey, here you go. They didn't have vanilla if you could believe that. So I got you yogurt." He says handing me the cup and sitting down next to me.  
"What kind of ice cream shop doesn't have vanilla?" I question slightly amused and bewildered.  
"My thoughts exactly." he says flashing a sweet smile."Where's Jimin?"  
I turn my head towards the sandbox infront of me gesturing but freeze as soon as I don't see him.  
"He-" Furiously I start to look around trying to get a glimpse of any form of golden locks. There are a few children far off in the distance much too tall to be Jimin. Worry crawls at my skin as I begin to panic. What the hell, where was he?  
"Jin?" Namjoon asks worriedly.  
"I- I where is he? He was here a second ago playing in the sand pit!" I practically yell.  
We hurriedly walk over to pit only to be greeted with his stuffed chimmy toy.  
No, no what is happening? Where?  
"Where did he go?" Namjoon asks.  
"I don't know. He was here just before you showed up with the icecream."  
The stress building up was intensify rapidly. We start going on a frenzy, searching the entire playground and the rest of the park. Namjoon climbed up the playtower hopping he got stuck up there but there was no luck.  
"Jimin!??" I call out loudly. "JIMIN!?" Desperately hoping to hear a shriek from the distance calling out 'papa'. But there was none. Tears started to build up in my eyes. "JIMIN BABY PLEASE, WHERE ARE YOU!?"  
I checked over at the stalls, the kiosks, the toilets, hurriedly running around wasting no time. "JIMIN!!!? MINNIE WHERE ARE YOU?"  
This is bad. It was taking longer and longer. I just wanted to find him already. Where could he have gone? Why did I take my eyes off of him. Shit!  
"Hey, hey calm down. We'll find him okay?" Namjoon tries to assure me. It works slightly giving me some sort of comfort and courage.  
We comb through the entire park again checking every single place little children could hide or be.  
The tears finally fall down my face after another 30 minutes of looking. I crouch down and hug my knees squishing the stuff toy in the process. Here's not here. He's not here!!! Could he have wandered further off? No he wouldn't. Jimin was smarter than that. We told him we were going to get him icecream, he'd never leave. He'd never leave me.  
My mind started venturing into any possible situation, trying to think of where he could have gone or be. It didn't make sense. Even if he did wander off he would have never gotten far unless someon-  
"Jin!" I hear in the distance. It's Namjoon's voice. I lift my head and spot him over towards the monkey bars standing next to a lady with a dog on a leash.  
I wipe my eyes and walk over.  
"This lady says she saw Jimin." Namjoon says.  
"What where??" I practically shout. A small shred of hope forming in my body again.  
"Ahh yes. I saw this wonderful little blond boy walking off with a lady a while ago. She had the same hair colour as him. I thought they looked so cute."  
"What!?" I exclaim, shocked. Who could have taken him. He was abducted?  
The lady looks taken back. "Is something the matter?" She questions dumly.  
I can't even answer. The thoughts swimming around in my brain wad driving me mad. I didn't know what to think. What to feel. It was all my fault. This is the second time in these past few days.  
"The little boy is our son. We fear he might have been aducted." Namjoon says calmly. I didn't know how he was able to keep his cool. I wasn't! My whole body was a mess.  
"Oh my!" She gasps covering her mouth.  
"Can u remember anything else about the person who took him? Anything at all?"  
She rubs her temples and attempts to think. "Sorry, I don't remember."  
"What about the person that took him?" I ask urgently.  
"I'm sorry all I remember is that she was carrying the boy towards that direction and they had the same hair colour."  
After a few more minutes of talking she leaves and at this point I don't know where to put my body. The chill was creeping up my spin faster than a tsunami coming from my eyes.  
"Jin?"  
"Jin!?"  
"Seokjin!!!??"  
Namjoon stands infront of me getting my distracted attention. "Look at me, listen, we can't break down now, we need to focus on what's happening to get Jimin back. We need to go to the police right now." He assures.  
I nod slightly. He brushes the tears from my cheeks and we hurriedly make our way to the car.  
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To be continued   
Thank you for reading. I think there are people reading this ....lol  
Song recommendation : Chasing Pavements by Adele


	23. Only 3

Chapter 23 (Only 3)

Seokjin's pov  
An hour, maybe 2, I wasn't even aware at this point. It feels like a lifetime though. I think I was listening to what the people around me were saying but I also wasn't. I was spacing out. The conversation I did pick up went like this. An exchange between Namjoon and a police officer.  
"What is the problem sir?"  
"Our son has been abducted!"  
"Where and when sir?"  
More talking, they were muffled and distant. But I heard them.  
"Stay calm? We'll handle this. Please fill this out."  
More talking, it all seemed unnecessary in some light. True they were talking about my Jiminie but it was all distant. I was trying to understand and cope. I couldn't.  
God, so much happened in only a few hours. My mind just drifted. It left my body frozen and forced my subconscious to bite at me.  
A woman, the lady had said....A lady with the same hair colour as him. That was the only clue she gave. But who? Why? Why would somebody steal somebody else's child right then and there. What have I ever done to anybody for them to take my little boy from me. My baby. He's was probably scared and hungry and....and lost.  
More tears began to occupy my eyes, they rolled down my cheeks down to my clothes soaking it.  
"Jinnie?" Namjoon's hand rest itself onto my shoulder. I look up at him and he hugs my frame tightly in his arms. "Don't worry well find him. We will."  
I hug him back. "How...how are you so calm?" I ask through his clothes.  
"I -"  
"Where is he? It can't be?? Namjoon!!"   
We hear come from the door of the station. Its Myunk sook and Mr.Kim.  
"Mom.. dad.."  
"WHERE IS HE? SAY IS ISN'T TRUE!!!" Myung sook yells.  
I couldn't even bear to look at her. Not after today. Not now. I couldn't look at any of them. I knew they were judging me.  
Namjoon explained what happened in detail once again. After that we were called in to be questioned again. They wanted to be exact and asked us questions about the clothes Jimin was wearing and the name of the witness. Finally after more hours of interrogation we were allowed to leave. I didn't want to but Namjoon told me all we could do was wait  
now.  
We returned to the estate and nobody dared to speak or make a comment. Namjoon left me in the room to go and cancel out flight and talk to his brother.  
I walk into the bathroom and wash my face and forcefully took a shower. After that I just sat on the bed deep in thought. I replayed every single thing in my head seven times trying to come up with something, anything that could help. But it was pointless. Somebody took my baby from right under my nose. I was careless.  
I've been crying more than had ever in my whole life in the past few hours.  
I looked at the small plush yellow stuffed toy in my hand and cried to it.  
The same hand from earlier cupped my cheek gently and whipped the tears from my face. Namjoons eyes were red as well. He'd been crying too. Although it wasnt infront of me, I could tell he had done it did in hiding.  
"Baby..." He says crouching down to meet my eyes.  
"I know he's crying right now, I can feel it. He could be hurt, strangers could be doing all kinds of stuff to him and...and we're just sitting here. Or even worst he could be dea-"  
"Don't think like that, please don't. We need to stay positive. Well...find him don't worry."  
"How do you know that? I- I turned my back for 3 seconds. Only 3. How? It couldn't have just been a simple fluke. It couldn't. Somebody was waiting for the chance."  
"Dont blame yourself. Please don't. You're an amazing dad. The world sometimes just has really bad people."   
"How can I not Namjoon? STOP TELLING ME TO THINK POSITIVELY!" I say raising my voice unintentionally. "I'm sorry." I say after I realise what I was doing. Taking my anger out on Namjoon wasn't the way to deal with this.  
"It's alright Jin." He says simply. We stay like that for a while. Me crying into his embrace and Namjoon comforting me by slowly tracing smooth circular motions on my back.  
Eventually we fell asleep like that. Namjoon put me to bed but I barely slept and hour. My mind didn't allow it. Everytime I would I'd have nightmares of awful senarios involving Jimin. At one point through the night I woke up again and headed to the room Jimin had been sleeping in and cried in there. Namjoon's father woke up and found me in there in my most lowest point. He walked over to talk to me. At first I thought he was going to tell me to man up but without a second thought he hugged me soothingly. That made me cry even more. All he said was "W'ell find whoever took our boy from us. I promise you that."  
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To be continued   
Thanks for reading.  
Song recommendation: 7 years old - Lukas Graham


	24. Useless

Chapter 24 (Useless)

Seokjin's pov  
3 days. Three damn, shall I say it, fucking days! It's been 3 whole days since an anonymous child kidnapper stole my child from me. The police were useless, Namjoon's parents were useless, even Namjoon himself was damn useless. There had been no progess whatsoever. Whenever we go in to check they tell us 'they're working on it' ....bullshit! Pure bullshit, they're not doing anything. Nobody is! My poor little baby is still in the hands of a stranger, wearing the same clothes, an unwashed face, teeth not brushed, tearful eyes and confused beyond his capacity.  
I was slowly losing my mind. And I knew it. I haven't slept a solid 6 hours in the past three days. How the hell could I? Not when he was still out there. Every day millions of thoughts roamed through my mind, trying to think about who could've taken him but nothing came to mind. I knew nobody here was going to help. Everybody said the same thing "We'll find him" "don't worry" " Eat something you'll feel better" in reality I wouldn't. How can I relax and eat when the person I was suppose to be looking over, making sure that they ate and that they were alright was out there alone.  
The days now mainly consisted of me sitting in our room with my phone in my hand overthinking and slowly turning insane by the second. Sometimes I would go to the kitchen and get water or Namjoon would bring it to me but other than that I didn't leave the room.  
"Hey Jinnie." Namjoon's voice ecos through the room. He sets a plate of steak and mashed potatoes and a tall glass of water on the table in the room. My stomach turns as I look at the food.  
"How are you feeling?" I dont answer. Why should I? It was unfair, yes but he knew how I felt, why the hell does he feel the need to ask.  
I know I've been mistreating him the past few days. I've been harsh and ignoring him, but nonetheless he still made an effort. A part of my mind belived strongly that he did that cause he understood me better than I understood myself. And truthfully he did but I didn't deserve his compassion.  
He lies down on the bed to my side and places his face in the crook of my neck. The slow breathing rhythm he produced was soothing in some way. Who was I kinding, it always is, it's just my mood that's getting in the way.  
"Let's go somewhere."  
I answer his sudden request with loud obnoxious sigh. "No Namjoon."  
"Oh we're going. Come on. Up." He says as a matter of fact.  
"Namjoon I really dont want to move at all right now, please don't."  
Namjoon seemes to not listen and pulls my frame off of the bed. Times like this I wish I had some strength to my body mass so that I could fight back but behold I only sported noodle arms.  
Namjoons stands me up avoiding my pissed face and pulls me towards the door.  
"Namjoon please. I don-" "Jin just trust me." And with that simple line I toss all my arguments aside and let him do what he wanted to do.  
A few minutes later we're cruising down the road. I have no idea where he's taking me but who cares. The drive took about 5 more minutes. Halfway there I figured out where it was that we were actually going. To that dumb lake we visited a few days.  
Why would he, in his right mind bring me here of all places. This place was just an orgy or good memories but now I resent them all and guilt creeps up my spin faster than I can role my eyes.  
He parks the SUV close to where it was the last time we came here. After that he just sits. The silence in the small space with the windows up is so annoying that it irritates my whole body.  
"Can we please go home?" I ask nicely trying not to bust a blood vessel.  
"You don't even know why I brought you here!" He defends looking towards me. I dont look back.  
"Alright enlightem me then." I request.  
"The attitude in your tone is bitter." He states.  
"Gee I wonder why."  
"Jin I brought you here so we could talk."  
Those words again. A loud sigh escapes my body, this was ridiculous.  
"What more do you want to talk about Namjoon?"  
"About you, about everything."  
"What do you mean?"  
"About Jimin Jin." He finally says.  
I feel the tears prick the back of my eyes like they're acid.  
"Is that why you fucking brought me here Namjoon!" I snap back. "To talk about our kidnapped possibly dead son? That's why!? Jesus fucking christ you're unbelievable, why on earth would I want to discuss how bad a parent I was and how I messed up. I know it was my fault. And I know I can't fucking do anything anything about it. I'm fucking useless just like I was at the damn park. The fact that I'll never see him again. I'll never touch his sweet little face again or run my hand through his gorgeous blond hair, I'll never see him smile again, nobody's going to call me papa or tell me they're hungry." I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to look at Namjoon. I didnt want to talk so I flee.  
Opening the car door I rush out, not knowing where to go at all. I just keep running with the hot tear stained on my face colliding with the wind.  
"Jin!?" I hear behind me. Namjoon's hot on my trail. I don't stop, ignoring his cries and just keep running, tripping and almost falling as I do so.  
I dont know how or when but in a matter of seconds big strong arms that I was all to familiar with embrace me and stop me from breaking away. I try to fight my way out of his grip. "No! Lemme go." I plead  
I keep fighting back pushing against his chest while my eyes shut themselves tightly. "No!"  
Namjoon swiftly grabs my hands and pulls them out of the way so that he can connect his body to mine. After a few seconds of struggling I'm stopped entirely by a hitch in his voice. The hitch is followed by a sniffle, loud enough that it stops me completely. I open my eyes and lift my head to look at his face.  
Everything comes crashing down as I glance at Namjoon's face. Guilt, sadness, fear, shock all of those feelings get hightened and weigh me down. I realise what I was doing was actually hurting him too. Probably killing him inside since he had to stay strong for me and my ways. I forgot that he also had feelings too and that they mattered. I've only been focussing on my own emotions selfishly.  
Seeing Namjoon's face broken illuminated something inside me. His eyes were watering more than mine, the look of pure sadness and worry created by his eyebrows killed me inside at the same time. How come I've been so blind. He's been hurting too.  
"Namjoon..." I say softly taking his cheeks in my hands softly.  
He lowers his head and rest it on my shoulder. We stand there in the middle of the large field as we embrace each other. Nothing can be heard but the sound of the wind and our wails as we depended on each other for comfort.  
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Broken that's what we are now.  
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Thank you sooooo much for reading. I appreciate it!!!!   
Song recommendation: Napkin by Riz la vie


	25. Time is evil

Chapter 25 (Time is evil)

Seokjin's pov  
Three months later  
Time is evil, its cruel and unfair. Life in general was the root of all evil. It gives us things and takes them away in the blink of an eye. And we're left broken with unanswered questions. It's all an illusion set to distract us. A fake beacon of hope.  
That's how I choose to view the world now. It suits it perfectly. I sat strapped to a seat not moving or fidgeting in any way. I didn't have a reason to. I regretted taking this trip. I regret coming here even though it wasn't my fault. I should've stayed and not gone with Namjoon. I still blame myself. Why did we have to come here...I ask myself sometimes. Whenever I think back on things I could change it makes me sad because I think of the fact that I would never be able to change them. The reality sets in and it consumes me. What was even more fascinating to me was that life still carried on. The sun still rose, the sun still set, the moon went up and then back down again. Days passed by and the same thing happened over and over again. Life didn't stop to think about what I had lost or what was missing. In an unshocking way, life doesn't give a fucking damn.  
It made me think about my life, specifically me, should my life be worth a damn at this point?  
It had been three months later and our visitor's visa expired so we had to go back. During those three months I had so much hope but surely and innevitably it lessened. The case involving the kidnapping of my son was non-existent anymore, that's how I chose to view it because that's how it was and that's how it is. Nothing seemed to be leading up to anything. The people who took him are sick, utterly sick and they should die for all I care.  
They were no closer nothing and for the life of me I couldn't think of anything. The officials told us that they would handle it. What a great job they did at that. At one point Namjoon's father hired a private detective to try and find Jimin. But that didn't help as well. It was baffling to me. An action that took less than a few seconds spanned over a little over three whole months.  
Slowly and slowly the relationship between Namjoon and I began to fall apart. It seems that we silently blamed each other but we'd not admitted it because of the love we have. Or maybe we were blaming ourselves and thought the other held something over the other.  
The love that we have have for each other was the one thing that was keeping us together, the one thing that was making us strong.  
Today we took a private plane back home. Concerning the investigation, we were told that it was still underway. The details of the crime were sent to our local authorities. They told us both branches would still be active in the search. However everything that they said, everything that came out if their mouths were utter bullshit to me. They didn't care. No one did!  
The trip back home was horrible. We barely spoke to or glanced at each other. After the outburst at the lake Namjoon and I admitted our feelings. It's no surprise that we were both broken beyond repair. He admitted that to me and I admitted that I hated myself for what happened. However after that the line went straight. We didn't talk about our emotions or what we were going through. It just went dead. Silent.  
Two and half hours later we arive home. I stand outside with my suitcase in hand and the yellow stuff dog doll in the other, it had become my most prized possession at this point.  
I've never come home without him. The waterworks threaten to defy my judgement but I push them back. I'm tired of crying. So fucking tired of it.  
Reluctantly I step forward, taking one step but failing to take the next one. Namjoon's hand gently presses the small of my back encouraging me to walk forward. I'm thankful for him. Though we were both dying on the inside he's still here for me. It makes me feel pathetic when I think about how I can't do the same. I'm weak.  
We walk into the house and I try to not let my emotions get the best of me. I put some things away and do some laundry. After that I clean and dust everywhere. Everywhere but one room. I didn't dare step foot into it. Neither did Namjoon. We both just casually went about our day. Namjoon caught up on some work and I head to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Thing is....I didn't know what to cook.  
The chart on the fridge indicated it was mac and cheese night. It was Jimin's favourite dish. Subconsciously I lean my head against the little white board that stuck to the fridge with magnets. I look at it with hatred that I end up flinging it across the room into the living room. It bumbs into a lamp and sends it and the vase next to it flying and falling to the ground and crashing.  
Another brake down I thought to myself as my back slid down against the fridge. I laid there on the cold floor. Predictively Namjoon comes running in. I hide my head in my arms bringing my knees to my chest. I don't want to answer any questions.  
"Jin!?" I hear him gasp.  
"What happened!?"  
I wave him away. After a few seconds I hear the sound of class being picked up.  
Oh no. That's going to-  
"Ow-" I hear from the living room.  
For fuck's sake. Why? This was just anticipated with his clumsy ass.  
Slowly, I raise myself up. Opening a cupboard, I take out a band aid and proceed to walk towards the room.  
Namjoon's crouching on the ground with his thumb in his mouth. There's blood on the ground and also on the shards of glass lying on the floor. Honestly I'm not even surprised it's like I could predicted it before it even happened.  
"Honestly Namjoon if you can't do it don't bother I'll handle it. I've told you before to leave things like this to me."  
"But you were-"  
"Yeah, and I know what happened. I would have cleaned it up myself. Just leave it alone next time."  
"Sorry, I just-"  
"Well don't! It's exhausting enough around here without you causing chaos."  
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"Who's fault it that then?"  
The words grace my ears softly through a mumbling echo. I almost didn't hear it if it weren't for how close we were, but I did. At the same time it comes out laced and woven with impact and intention. For a second as I glue the bandaid on his thumb pad thought I had misheard. Surely that came from someone else. But fact is... there was nobody else around. I look up towards Namjoon meeting his eyes. His eyebrow is skyrocketed up on his forehead and the almost dormant poker face he was wearing no doubt told me it indeed came from him.  
"What did you say?"  
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And I oop-To be continued. Thannnkkk you for reading this mess.   
Song recommendation: Joke by BTS' Rap Monster... this is old but damn does it slap.


	26. “WTF did you just say?”

Chapter 26 (“WTF did you just say?”)

Seokjin's pov  
"What did you say?" I ask slowly challenging him to say it to my face.  
He turns away from me and takes his hand away. "Nothing, forget about it." He stands himself up and begins to walk off. "No." I yell making him stop in his tracks and turn around.  
"Tell me what you just said." I press.  
"Forget about it Jin." He says rolling his god damn eyes.  
"Clearly that smartass mouth of yours wanted to say something. And I'm asking you to say it again, to my face!"  
"God, you just get more and more temperamental as we go along. Always moody and unexpected. "  
"Well I can't help it now, can I? I did just lose my fucking son. How the hell do you expect me to react?" I scream back at him. We were past arguing now. It was a fight, a full blown cold fight.  
"Who's fucking fault is that then Seokjin!? Huh?"  
There it was again. I can't believe those words came out of my Namjoon. They were so bitter and menacing.  
"You're blaming me now? You of all people?" I ask, my voice raised up to another octave.  
"Do you see anyone else in this room?" He asks sarcastically.  
I'm at a loss for words. Did he really....  
"Why didn't you just watch him? He was right there....right there!!!" He yells looking at me with bloodshot eyes. Well now I know his real feelings on the matter.  
I won't lie but it hurt. Those words coming from Namjoon killed me.  
"I-" I begin.  
"That's all you had to do. On top of that you're the one that cries the most, you're the one acting out and being a dick about it even if I try to help. You don't see that!? It's all about you!"  
"Jimin was my son Namjoon, wha-"  
"HE WAS MY FUCKING SON TOO SEOKJIN! YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HURTING BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED." He shouts back anger coming off of him like a waves of knives.  
"You didn't love him like I did!" I shout back sending Namjoon's face down into a frown.  
"Wow Jin." We stare at each other for a few more intense seconds.  
I walk up to him and push at his shoulders making him tumble back. I don't know why I did. I'm frustrated and I'm so angry.  
"It's your fucking-" I push him he doesn't fight back. I know he won't. He's too humble like that. He'd never hurt me physically.  
"fault-" push  
"It was your family's dumb-" push  
"idea to go there-" push  
"It's-" push "your-" push "fucking-" push "fault-" push. He stumbles back a little and bumbs some centre pieces over.  
Before I can do it again he grabs my hands, stopping me from pushing him again. "Yeah that's what you're good at, blaming everyone but yourself."  
"Fuck you... I blame myself more then I blame anybody else." I admit once again, tears were gushing out my eyes now. I couldn't control them.  
Namjoon lets go of my palms and drops them to the side and walks away.  
I can't believe he just did that. What the hell just happened? The hell? You would think, the kind of chemistry and bond we have would cater to the fact that we knew each other like the back of our hands. But in that all too intense moment I didn't know him. We weren't communicating. Something in me snaps, like I was driven towards finding out what was going on. Or just wanted him to say something more, anything. I walk towards where he walked off to. No way not on my fucking watch.  
"Hey! Don't you fucking walk away from me." I call out to him as he walks into our room not responding. "I'm talking to you! Turn around and face me." I scream.  
He ignores me and continues to walk towards the bathroom. I stop him.  
"I said I'm talking to you!" taking him by the shoulders, I spin his figure around.  
"Enough. Just leave me alone alright." He yells back shrugging my hands away and pushing me gently back so I'm out of the bathroom. My face is met with a loud bash as the door shuts in it.  
My emotions once again get the better of me and I just break down. I feel the anxiety attacks biting at my skin, goosebumps raising, breathing getting heavier and harder to control, this is bad. I should breathe. I should brea-  
Suddenly I feel the need to vomit. I make a beeline to the hallway toilet and let it all of out. Although there wasn't much to let out. I hadn't eaten anything all day. The only thing that comes out is just water and saliva. The dry heave phase starts and I swear I'm about to lose conscious.  
Willingly I push myself off the floor and stare at myself in the mirror.  
My face was disgusting. Bloodshot puffy eyes, untamed hair. Just purely disgusting. It takes a while, I just stand there trying to call down, trying to gather my breathing in order. I wash my face off and let the cold water keep me up.  
My eyes however dart towards the digital clock on the cabinet next to the laundry basket. God fucking damnit that just sends me off the edge. That does it. If that wasn't going to be the last straw nothing would. Everything just floods out.  
Blood starts to leak from my nose slowly as I stare at those damn dates.  
[OCTOBER 13, SAT]  
Jimin's ....birthday.  
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The white floor is the last thing I see before my eyes shut and I'm drifted away.  
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Thanks for reading.  
Song recommendation : Staring at the sun - Post Malone ft SZA


	27. Double loss

Chapter 27 (Double loss)

Namjoon's Pov  
The insane feeling of deja vu was settling in. Here I was yet again. Seated on a damn cold as fuck metal bench, over thinking my life away. Tying to hold onto any shread of sanity I could.  
The intense headache rilling up my scalp was for sure causing an aneurysm somwhere in my body.  
Thinking back I try to not think of how I found Jin passed out on the damn bathroom floor with blood running from his nose. The amount of pain and guilt I felt was overwhelmingly strangling. How, what, why... I couldn't answer any of those, all I could do was blame myself now.  
'It's practically your fault Namjoon'  
A voice says softly invading my subconscious.  
'You know how sensitive he can be Namjoon, he needs you, more than ever. You know how much he loved, loved Jimin...'  
'Loved?' I question the damn voice.  
'You don't still think Jimin's still alive do you?' The voice coos, it's tone, sweet and innocent as if lathering me up with dangerous thoughts.  
'He could still be ali-'  
'Nonsense! You're son is gone you delusional and naive man. Why do you think Seokjin is in the hospital right now, barely grasping onto his life? It's because he's slowly accepting that fact. Sadly it was too much for him.'  
'What do you m-' "Namjoon?" A voice calls out to me. The voice was familiar all too common I should say.  
I raise my head up and see Jungkook standing a few meters away from me. He's looking at my like I've lost my mind. I don't blame him. Seems like I am ....slowly.  
"Who are you talking to?" He questions.  
"I-I..I don't know." I say simply. Jungkook walks over to me pulling my body up and hugging me tightly in his warm embrace. In that moment the tears I've been holding in for so long gush out making me hiccup and sniffle on Jungkook's shoulder. I'm so thankful to him. So very very thankful. "Shhh, I'm here. It's going to be alright. Let out whatever you've been holding in." He says calmly as he rubs slow waves into my back.  
"I miss him. It's so unfair and sad... And Jin is just broken-" "I know..." Jungkook comforts.  
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.  
A few hours later a doctor approaches us.  
"Excuse me which one of you is the spouse of Kim Seok-" "Me, that's me, tell me he is alright. Please?"  
"He's alright now and resting in his room. The impact from his fall wasn't fatal, he just has a bump. But I must ask, was Mr.Kim under any kind of stress?" The doctor asks.  
"Yes he was. Some unfortunate incidents had happened prior."  
"Well Mr.Kim's blood pressure was very high. Did something happen recently right before he was brought here?" The doctor asks while looking at his file in his hand.  
"....We, got into a heated argument."  
He nods his head while writing some stuff down.  
"Wait, why was his nose bleeding?" I ask suddenly remember the blood around his face and the floor.  
"That would be due to the events happening in his life. I don't exactly know what's been happening with you two but that would be the cause."  
"So the stress?" I enquire.  
"In these cases, a nosebleed isn't directly caused by the stress you feel, though the two things may appear connected. Instead, it's caused by the situation that also causes the anxiety. Hypertension, or high blood pressure, is a trigger for nosebleeds."  
I nod in understanding. "So what can I-"  
"For now, I suggest the two of you try to work things out. It's extremely dangerous for somebody to be in this much stress, if not, Mr.Kim may suffer from depression or other fatal consequences such as constant high blood pressure and anxiety attacks. In a more none fomal way you need to ease your spouse. When he was brought here, he was severely dehydrated, this may be due to the crying? I'm not sure. The two of you must relax yourselves. Stressing the mind is not healthy." He finishes.  
'Easier said then done doc.' I think to myself.  
"Thank you." I say. He nods and walks away.  
"He's in room 109" he says finally before actually walking away.  
.  
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.  
"Go ahead. I'll wait out here." Jungkook says leaning against the wall in the hallway.  
I open the door slightly and slide in. There's definitely a body laid there in the dark room. The rain outside made the atmosphere all the more gloomy.  
I take a few steps in and can't take my eyes off of the beautiful body laying down on the bed. All the aggravation of the previous few hours disappear and fade away instantly. It wasn't worth it. What we said during that fight was irrational and guided by bolted up emotions. Truthfully I never blamed Seokjin. The amount of love Seokjin has ... had for Jimin was endless. He'd never, not in a million years ever want that to happen. It was never his fault and I shouldn't have made him think it was. There's just so many bad people in the world. It's not fair at all but the fact that he got so overwhelmed because of me was so guilt ridden on me.  
It's true though. You never truly appreciate the things you have truthfully until it's actually gone. I think I can understand that better than anyone this point. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up maybe things would never return back to the way it was before. I wonder if Jin has given up and is now trying to deal with the fact that this is the truth and this is what the situation is and will always be. Is that why he had that insane panic attack? Is that why he's always mad and never lets me help him?  
I slouched down in the chair beside him grabbing onto his cold hands for comfort. I'm not really sure if it was me who was trying to give him Comfort or if it was for my own benefit either way I don't know what to think.  
My mind goes blank. Eventually we will leave the hospital and we'll go back to to our home, to our lives. The unfortunate events that have happened we're merely a distraction in the form of of a cry or an awakening.  
Maybe this is a wake-up call, maybe we shouldn't be thinking of the possibilities anymore? It just hurts too much. The amount of pain that has come from the two of us is losing our son is tearing us apart.  
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I wonder how Jin feels?  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading. Recommendation: Antisocial - Ed Sheeran feat Travis Scott


	28. Do we just give up?

Chapter 28 (Do we just give up?)

Namjoon's pov  
Half an hour later of waiting, pacing and nail biting Seokjin wakes up. His eyes flutter open as he tries to adjust to the light.  
He sprints his body up and looks around curiously. I don't move in right away, I'm not sure if I should. We were fighting a few hours ago so I was unsure.  
As his eyes lend on me a small smile breaks out giving me all the comfort my doubts had created. We look at each other for a few more seconds before he shifts his body around and opens his arms out. That does it for me. That's what breaks me. I walk forward and hug him. The stress on my shoulders fades instantaneously.  
Neither of us speak for the longest time. What would I say? I really don't know for now I'm just glad that he's here and he's alright. But however comforting the silence was Jin decides to speak first.  
"I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry Namjoon."  
I move my hand up and caress his head running my fingers through his hair making sure that he knows that I know. "It's ok baby, I understand."  
"And I don't blame you for anything just so you know, I'd never blame you for something like this. I love you and I'm sorry the fight got out of hand. I'm sorry I did this to you." I continue.  
Jin breaks away and looks into my eyes. "You didn't do this to me, it's not your fault we're both to blame for how we reacted. Our emotions got the best of us but I love you too and I'm also sorry. I said so many things I didn't mean at all."  
"So did I." I respond honestly.   
This is how things were like now. It was an endless loop of a makeshift breakup and makeup, a falling out on repeat. It was exhausting.  
The sadness and the angst was still apparent and fresh in our faces... that was one thing that hasn't changed but one thing's for sure it is still so sad and terrifying to the both of us. I won't say we will never get over it because I don't know if we'll ever get over it. How do you even get over something like this? Do we just give up? Frankly there is no clear answer to that. Consequences of our lives are cruel and we're subjected to it no matter what our actions are.  
"I, I didn't pass out just from our fight you know..." Jin says suddenly.  
"What do you mean?" I question. I thought the fight sent him over the edge.  
He lowers his and looks at his palms.  
"At first, yes I was upset and angry. Even after you slammed the door in my face I was kind of okay. I went to the bathroom and the thing that set me off was..."  
He stops and looks at me. "Check the date on your phone." He says simply and looks back towards the window.  
Pulling out my phone I turn it on and read the dates before me.  
[OCTOBER 13, SAT]  
'Fucking hell...'  
"It's our baby's birthday...." Jin says with a sniffle. I knew he was going to cry again. This time I hurry over and embrace him trying to transcend any ounce of comfort I could.  
I don't know if it works or not but I still hold him.  
"Do you remember what happened last year?" He asks with a faint smile.  
The memory was still fresh in my mind like it was a core memory of my life. Everything was perfect that day. At least it was to me.  
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.  
Flash back to last year:   
Jimin's birthday  
It was a warm Friday and Jimin was zooming around the house like a wildfire at 6 am in the morning. He didn't understand the concept of his birthday just yet and the only thing he could think of was that he was going to get candy, cake, presents and all the attention. It was still sweet though.  
We had arranged a small party. A very small party, only the three of us. Well maybe it wasn't really a party. Anyway we went to an amusement park. There, they had a small kiddy restaurants that had a separate play area. Jimin had so much fun on that day. He wanted to ride all the rides and do everything. Later towards the end of the day we had him blow out his candles. The look on his chubby little face was priceless and I'll cherish that memory forever. I still remember what Jin got him. Apart from all the other gifts he got from his uncle and grandparents and myself as well, Jin got him the small stuffed yellow dog plushy. For some reason he adored it. Carried it everywhere he went. Would never leave the house without it.  
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.  
Now it's all Jin has of him. I've seen him staring at the toy for hours. Looking like he's losing his mind in the process it seemed.  
It pained me so much to just sit there and watch, unable to do anything. I wish I could but what could I possibly do? We've tried everything.  
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Haven't we?  
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To be continued   
Song recommendation: Darker Liquor - Flannel Albert


	29. Lustful frustration

Chapter 29 (Lustful frustration)

Seokjin's pov  
Almost two months later. After christmas. Things hadn't progressed the way I thought or rather hoped it would. Namjoon and I both returned to work and tried going about our normal days as normal as we could. It wasn't the same honestly. There were no further leads in the investigation. I wasn't surpised in the least.  
As for namjoon and I, we hardly spoke that much. We were fine with being together practically and realistically but there were still holes we could never again fill in our relationship and our situation. The two of us tried our best to cheer each other up as best as we could. It worked sometimes but on most times it resulted to petty fights, slouching, giving cold shoulders, silent treatments and sometimes even physical fights. This would mostly be when I would breakdown and start getting heated from a small comment or action Namjoon did.  
It's been really bad to the point where I've even felt like I was drugged and turned towards selling my body in exchange to forget my feelings and issues for some relief. Its quite insane to think you're whoring yourself to your own husband. However that's what it felt like. In those instances I'd hurt myself in the process emotionally purposefully. I knew Namjoon didn't like that as well. He was trying too. Trying so hard to calm me down nomatter what it took, nomatter what I asked of him.  
I've even taken advantage of him on some occasions. I'm not proud of it, I'll admit, but my emotions were riled up and got the better of me. I've pushed him down or pinned him against the sink or wall sometimes demanding that we have sex. Thinking about it now. I still wonder about how it hurt him as well.  
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.  
It's night time now. I got home pretty early and tried to start dinner. Someone had to do it otherwise we'd both starve with the lack of motivation and my husband's deplorable kitchen skills. I open up two frozen pre-cooked meals and place them in the microwave. Then prepare a small mixed veggie salad and add it to it. I keep Namjoon's in the microwave for him to eat later and head to the living room to eat mine infront of the TV. It really didn't seem necessary to have family dinners since we were practically no longer a family. Even if I would want to eat together, Namjoon doesn't come home early nowerdays. He stays out doing god knows what. I don't blame him but at the same time I do.  
Usually I wouldn't opt watching TV, I was too busy but with the free time now I find it to be the most relaxing distraction. Having the telly on cancels out the fact that the house is much more quiet than it use to be.  
Almost two and a half hours later a knocking from the front door echoes through the room. I check the peep hole and see nothing but still decide to open it.  
After I do, two male bodies come into view. One slightly taller and the other shorter.  
The shorter gives me a small sympathetic smile. "Hey Jin."  
"Errr.." is all I can say.  
The scene before me consists of Namjoon sitting on the ground in his suit barely able to keep his eyes open and Jungkook trying to get him to stand up. 'Geez'  
"What happened?" I ask even though i knew all too well.  
"He had one too many drinks." He says as he pulls his brother up.  
"Were you drinking together?"  
"No, he called me about half an hour ago to pick him up and told me not to tell you." Jungkook says laughing slightly.  
He walks steadily into the house with the drunk on his arm. I pick up Namjoon's bag and coat and shut the door.  
After Jungkook finished putting his brother to bed he appologises on his behalf and leaves, leaving me standing there in the room alone. It wasn't the first time Namjoon came home drunk.  
Infact it was a routine now. I walk towards our suite and sigh as I see Namjoon hanging off the edge of the side of the bed.  
Reluctantly I head over and attempt to push him onto the bed. As if on cue I'm pulled. Harshly I'm yanked and plunged onto the soft mattress. When I open my eyes I'm met with a lustful looking Namjoon above me. His eyes were daring and ready. They looked dilated and focused at the same time, it was scary.  
Not a second later he pushes his lip onto mine forcefully. Biting and licking as he did so. His hands work fast as they go up my shirt and grasp my neck to hold my face in place.  
The air coming from his hot breath was toxic and revolting. He doesn't say a word. Only the hoarse grunts and moans from his throat can be heard. His wet lips travel heavily down to my neck. There he starts leaving hickeys as well as biting at the skin.  
With one hand holding my arms over my head he uses the other to pull my pants down taking my boxers along with it. He successfully rips them off not bothering to even throw it somewhere else.  
Everything is fast right now I can barely keep up with him. "Nam-" he cuts me off by attacking my lips once again, he takes my lips between his white porcelain teeth and tugs playfully as he smirks into the kiss. I could tell he was enjoying this.  
After a few more seconds I'm fully naked and he's wearing only his pants. Not really sure why but that's what he decided to do. It was quite difficult to tell whether he was still drunk or tipsy at this point.  
"Fuck, you're gorgeous." He states as he stands on his knees tall above me ; my ass lying in his lap and legs on either side while I lay on the bed.  
I'm not sure how to feel about this situation. I feel nothing. This was very much just a fuck. It wasn't love making. I understood that.  
Suddenly I'm spun around. Face to the pillow, stomach to the mattress. Before I can process what's happening Namjoon pushes his lenght into me. The only horrible lube substitute being his own saliva.  
"FUCK!!" I Involuntarily yell out. "Namjoon!"  
I hear a loud and low moan behind me. A moan of utter satisfaction.  
"Just like that baby." He says.  
I tried subsiding the pain and adjusting slowly, just as I do he begins to thrust into me. A moderate pace occupying his rhythm.  
"Ah!"  
"Yes just like that baby." He moans out. "You're so good, so fucking good."  
"Joonie slow down." I ask simply.  
I don't get an answer instead Namjoon brings his face next to my ears and holds my sweaty forehead in his palm. He moans into my ear with his deep voice and kisses the back of it.  
His rhythm quickens and he jabs his lenght fully into my ass hitting the base. 'Fuck!'  
The white sheets become absolutely the most interesting things I could ever see or touch right now. I can see my knuckles turn an off white colour. The pads of my fingertips hurting from squeezing too much.  
Namjoon pulls at my hips and raises my ass in the air forcing me on my hands and knees as he continues with his fun.  
The polyester feel to his pants' suit feel rather uncomfortable at the back of my legs. It didn't feel natural or honest in some wierd sense. The intense grip he has on my waist was so dominating.  
After a few more slaps his pace quickens even more and his grunts get even deeper. He pushes my face forward into the pillow leaving my ass in the air. Yeah it feels good but at times I wondered if it was healthy.  
"Joonie..." my voice is muffled in the pillow.  
"Joonie?" I call out louder.  
"Yeah baby?" He answers not stopping.  
"Slow down please." He slows down a little and places small pecks on my back. Feather even.  
As he's distracted I decide to fix the scene. I wanted to be able to walk tomorrow. Pushing myself back I make him stop entirely.  
"Let me be on top." I say. Without giving him a chance to respond I switch our positions and start to ride him slowly. He sees the sudden decrease in speed and pushes his hips up so that he can still be in control of depth. 'Damn this horny bastard.'  
After a little while of constant thrust I come undone. The white liquid gushing out shooting onto our bodies. Namjoon comes shortly after breathing heavily.  
We lay there; my head on his chest and his arm around my body. A loud sigh escapes his mouth and he faces away from me.  
"Hmm?" I ask  
He doesn't answer so I decide to press on further.  
"What's the matter?" I ask raising my body up to look at his face. The surprise that strikes me at the sight of his face is scary.  
His eyes and cheeks were stained with fresh tears. They flowed down slowly, gliding down to the other corner of his neck.  
"Joonie!? Joonie what's wrong??" I ask in distress. The question was automatic. In reality I had an idea of what he was crying over. It wasn't him being drunk or anything. I keep looking at his side profile. He refused to expose himself to me right now.  
After a few more seconds he turns around and looks at the ceiling. I wipe the semi dried up tears from his face.  
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.  
"I just, miss him." He says simply, his voice soft barely above a whisper.  
The sentence causes me to cry instantaneously as well. He didn't need to offer any content. We both knew what he was talking about. We both understood.  
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"Me too..." I reply.  
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To be continued. Song recommendation: Gravity - John Mayer.


	30. “it's his”

Chapter 30 (“it's his”)

Seokjin's pov  
More time passes by. Time really is just unforgiving and greedy. You can't do shit about it.  
You have to force yourself to move forward nomatter what. Over the past months Namjoon and I have been somewhat functioning. We faught more than needed be. We lived under the same roof so we had virtually no choice. He is my husdand!.... so whether I like it or not we have to tolerate each other. Currently he was racking my blood cells to the freaking core.  
"Where the fuck have you been?" I ask him after he shows up close to one am.  
"Out! Can't I do that?" He says sarcastically.  
My blood gushes through my veins like a wildfire.  
"You can't freaking do this all the time!" I yell back.  
"Why? Cause you're not? Look, I went out with some co-workers. We had dinner. That's it end of story. Now just let me go to sleep."  
"Really Namjoon? I'm not blind nor am I dumb! I see the hickeys under your neck, don't you think that bothers me. You're cheating on me."  
"They aren't hickeys and I don't know what you're complaining about. God, just relax."  
In that moment after he says that my body just complies. It was as if it was tired. Too tired and had no strenght to fight back or argue. Was this worth it?  
The depression that came along with the incident heightened and lowered my emotions. They were all over the place and I had trouble controlling them.  
I walk out of the bedroom, away from Namjoon and sit outside hugging my knees to my chest.  
'It'll be alright, it'll be alright. You're a strong person' I told myself. 'Relax, just relax.' I force myself to breath slowly. This wasn't good for my health. Just take a step back or the stress will make you sick...it'll kill you.... however...is that really a bad thing? If I end it, I'll have peace, no more anxiety, Namjoon will be free to do as he pleases and most importantly, I'll be reunited with my baby...  
There's no way he's still alive. I had no hope. Whoever, whatever horrible person took him I hope they get the worst punishment, I hope they get tortured for a long time. They're the ones that don't deserve to live.  
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I wake up the next morning in my bed. Odd, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep outside on the balcony. As much as I'd hate to admit it, Namjoon put me to bed. He's done so before. I don't know what that says for us. 'Sigh' it's too much work thinking about it this early in the morning. One minute we're disfunctional and at each other's throat the next we're having sex. It's all very confusing.  
The clock on the wall stated that it was 10:43 am.  
Today I had an off day, the company was doing an annual shut down to clean and sort their inventory out. Basically just throwing out records from a decade ago.  
The otherside of the bed was empty. Namjoon was at work. I presume! After about a few more minutes I decide to get up. Reluctantly I head to the bathroom. Trying my utmost to ignore the forgotten room in the far corner. My bladder and stomach were the two responsible impulses of my actions. If it weren't for their persuasion I'd have stayed in bed all day.  
After doing a brief morning routine I head to the kitchen to find something to eat.  
As I head to the living room I catch a glimpse of the front door... wide open.  
What? Quickly I do a full 360 degree turn. "Namjoon?" Was he still here?  
No answer. Why the hell is the door wide open?  
I set my food down and search for my phone.  
"Hey.." he says calmly.  
"Why is the door open?" I ask urgently.  
"Doors are suppose to be open." He says childishly.  
"No, why is the front door wide open. I woke up and it was wide open."  
"What? I locked the door this morning." He says. I don't say anything.  
"Jin?"  
I walk over to the door and to the side there's a small package wrapped up in some weird christmas wrapping paper. What? What is a small gift doing on the outside of the hallway. Christmas was months ago. It didn't make sense.  
"Jin?" I hear Namjoon say into the phone.  
"Er.. there's a small present in the hallway."  
"What?" He asks.  
"There's like literally just a small package wrapped in christmas wrapping paper lying in the hallway outside our apartment." There's nobody in the hallway.  
"What? Don't open it. Listen to me. Get out of the apartment. Go over to Mrs.Yun. If somebody is in the apartment it could be dangerous!" Namjoon says in an alert tone.  
I hear all the words he is says perfectly however my focus is suddenly casted on the wrapper.  
"Jin?" Namjoon yells. "Jin are you there?"  
Carefully I place the phone down next to me and open the package. Namjoon continues to try to talk on the other end but I ignore it.  
.  
.  
.  
There, laying in the paper is a yellow fabric. Distinctive in all its glory. Familiar to me on site. It's a small yellow jacket. Jimin's yellow jacket!  
I instantly tear up. "Jin??" Namjoon yells. I pick up the phone and place it back to my ear.  
"It's, it's his jacket." I say, my voice cracking in the process.  
"What whose jacket? What did you say? You opened it?" He asks.  
"Im holding it in my hand, it's his. It was in the present. It's Jimin's jacket he was wearing the day he got taken away from me." I walk over to the sitting area.  
"What? Seokjin listen to me. You're in danger. Baby listen to me go to Mrs.Yun and call 911 and don't move I'm on my way."  
"It's his jacket Joonie, he's alive!" I say to him. My mind and heart filled with instant relief and hope. I didn't even want to question how the hell it got here or anything. Was this proof or some sort of bait?  
"SEOKJIN! Listen to me!!" I wasn't paying attention to anything. This was news. Good news. The best I've heard in a while.  
Next thing I know I feeling an intense pain in my head. A loud thump and falling to the ground."  
"SEOKJIN! JIN? JIN?" I hear Namjoon yell over the receiver.  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading.  
Song recommendation: Skinny love - Birdy.


	31. “You're not doing anything!!”

Chapter 31 (“You're not doing anything!!”)

Seokjin's pov  
Apparently I was hit in the head-after finding the package-by an intruder that was hidding in the apartment. He had snuck in after Namjoon left for work. The lock had been picked and they had hid in the guest room.  
It's still unclear as to why they had hit me. Maybe it was to flee, but from what? Had something been hid in the apartment? Nobody knows that answer. Nothing was stolen or wrecked. So why?  
Namjoon had found me passed out on the floor in the living room. The police and the paramedics showed up just as he did. They tended to the wound on my head. Luckily it wasn't something serious. Just enough to knock me out.  
Currently we were being questioned by the police. They required a report or some dumb shit. I wasn't particularly listening or cared. Nobody was bringing up the fact that my son could essentially be alive. This was a damn warning or a reminder. Obviously the person who stole him from us was playing us. Why keep him all this time and then suddenly bait us into doubting his existence. It would've been the same result months ago. Whether they took all this fucking time or not. I would've done anything.  
I didn't care what it would take. I was ready. Money, murder, whatever it took. The pain is too much. I want my baby back if he's alive.  
"Seokjin-ssi did you see the face of the intruder?" A tall male figure in a police uniform asks. I swear to god they've asked me this seventeen times now. I wasn't going to take it anymore.  
"You know what, get the hell out of my home." I yell slamming my hand on the coffee table.  
"Sir-"  
"No, shut the fuck up. You're suppose to be trying to find out why a freaking psycho left my son's jacket infront of my fucking door. Not continously asking me repeatedly about what happened. I already told u what happened."  
"Sir we're just doing our job."  
"Oh really?" I ask sarcastically.  
Namjoon's face on the otherside was a mix between shocked and surprised.  
"Are you now? Well I must be one damn idiot for not noticing." I breathe out heavily. I knew this was raising my blood pressure. That was bad. I was also aware that I was verbally insulting the police, I didn't give a damn either way.  
"As far as I'm concerned the police already know of this. It's been an open dead case for months. It's been on the papers, on billboards and on the god damned news! Money has been pegged for his safe return. I've told u what happened yet you're still here doing nothing. You're not doing anything cause you don't care." I scream.  
"We need a report from you sir. It's procedure. "  
"I've already fucking told you everything why are you still here? Check security cameras, dust for frints or something. Do you're damn job!"  
"Seokjin." Namjoon says attempting to soothe my voice and control my outburst.  
"Shut up Namjoon." I say to him. I'm in a mood. He raises his hands up in defence.  
"If the police department wants to be useful then this is a pretty sucky way of doing you're jobs. May I just remind you, there's a psycho out there that has my four year old son. An innocent little boy. He's four years old for christ's sake, four! On his own out there." I scream my lungs out again.  
"There is no need to raise your voice calm down sir." One of the officers says. For fucks sake I was talking to walls.  
"No! Get out! Out of my house now!" I yell. They were useless. I didn't need them.  
They stand there in shock for a little while longer "We already gave you a report and you already did everything you needed to do. So just leave! Whether you were here or not, it doesn't fucking matter."  
Slowly they pack and leave.  
Namjoon stands and make his way towards me.  
"Jinnie.." he attempts again.  
"Don't you fucking touch me. I don't even want to be near you right now."  
I say and walk off into the other room where the monitor was. It also had the software for the cameras around the house. We recently got them after the incident with Jimin.  
My head was pounding like crazy but I didn't care. The footage from today was easy enough to track. I replay them back in double speed. There was a camera in our room, the kitchen, the living room and the front door.  
As I reviewed the tape Namjoon creeps up behind me quietly. I turn towards him and he's holding the small yellow jacket. His face, sad and worried. It breaks my heart a little.  
"Jin." He calls out his voice lingering softly.  
I turn to him and sigh. "What?"  
"Is it really his?" He asks his voice breaking slightly.  
"Yes." I say simply, tears streaming down my face unconsciously. I wasn't even ashamed anymore. The amount of times I've cried over this was infinite. It wasn't a matter of pride or face now. I didn't care. Crying was a responce and it was normal. I've learned that the hard way. No amounts of intended masculinity would be able to tell me othewise.  
Namjoon's tears soon follow after, breaking my heart more and more.  
"Let's just see why there was somebody in our house alright?" I say seriously, trying to not focus my energy on my emotions but rather on my finding clues.  
"Why now?" Namjoon asks refering to why this was happening now.  
"I don't know alright. I just want him back. If the people that took him are willing to come all the way over here and tempt us, even break in there must be a reason."  
We watch the footage from yesterday from the moment we got into our argument and after. At around 2:30 am Namjoon gets up from the couch and heads to bed. He didn't see me in bed so he went to find me and carried my from the balcony chair to bed. Well I guess that's one mystery solved.  
We watch until day break up until when Namjoon leaves for work. A small detail I try to not pay that much attention to is Namjoon kissing my forehead before leaving. As he walks out of the apartment with his phone to his ear he locks the door and leaves.  
After that, around 10:15 am a stranger appears from outside the door. Covered in complete black. I slow the footage down and watch. It was impossible to tell who the hell it was. The person places the package in the hallway. I watch in awe at how easy the person picks the lock and makes their way inside. It's as if they knew I wasn't awake and Namjoon had just left. Or they didn't know I was in there and thought we'd both gone to work.  
"What the fuck?" Namjoon says as the person enters our bedroom. They just stand there for a few minutes. Just watching me sleep.  
"Who the fuck is this?" Namjoon says with frustration. He leans forwards gripping the monitor furiously. I just watch in shock. Realisation striking me that death was so near to me.  
The person walks out of the room and goes towards the kitchen.  
"Where is he going?" I ask myself.  
They rummage through the kitchen doing god knows what. The person opens the cabinet under the sink and then shuts it. The black figure looks up directly at the cameras staring at them. It was unsettling on so many levels. The person knows there were cameras in the house and knew exactly where they were. What the hell? It makes me wonder what else they were aware off. Did they know I had an off day today? Or not? Was this all intentional?  
In the other room I see myself wake up and head to the bathroom then leave for the kitchen. At that moment the person sprints to hide in the other room. The previous actions that follow are familiar.  
We rush to kitchen and check the same place the person opened and find a small note. Opening it up.  
The note was printed with a small clear font.  
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[We have your son, contact the police and he dies]  
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"This is has to be some sick joke." Namjoon say over my shoulder as he takes the paper from me.  
I, on the other hand didn't think much of it as a joke. He was alive and I was going to get him back now! Screw the police, screw the authorities. I'm going to bring my baby back whether it kills me or bankrupts up.  
"We need to call the police right now." The words that left his stupid mouth were so irritating I nearly hit him.  
"Are you joking right now. They just said if we call then they'll kill him!"  
"Seokjin we can't just do this by ourselves. These people are insane. The police will be able to-" "okay you know what please just shut the fuck up. I can't believe you right now. His life is on the line Namjoon. End of conversation."  
"So what do you expect us to do just wait and negotiate with criminals!?" He points out.  
"Yes, if that's what it takes." I say bluntly.  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!  
Song recommendation: Listen before I go by Billie Eilish


	32. Tube of agony

Chapter 32 (Tube of agony)

Seokjin's pov  
It has been 22 days since the damn psychopathic people left Jimin's jacket infront of my door. Twenty two days of waiting. Twenty two days of nothing.  
It's like I was reliving the experience from a few months ago over and over again. This time it was within a tube of agony in its own. A problem within a problem with no answer or solution. And no power. Inferiority was constantly on my mind.  
Namjoon had continued to pester me about involving the police. It was a dumb idea to say the least. I admired this man of whom I call my husband, he was a smart and intellectual man. But he's level of reasoning and logic right now just makes me want to slap the shit out of him. I understand that he wants Jimin back, yes so do I. We both do. It's old news. Its common news however I wasn't going to call the police, not after they didn't do anything. Especially after those people told me not to. If I can get my son back unharmed, then that's enough for me. That was gradually beginning to seem impossible.  
I was very aware that I was behaving off of impulses and hightened emotions but how else should or could I? Some of my actions would be considered not particularly smart but I believed in my reasoning. Any parent would do the same.  
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Today's a Sunday. A cloudy and droopy Sunday. The sun was no where in sight and neither was the rain. It seemed as though they were scared of being responsible for my mood. I didn't blame them. It was a little chilly outside. So I decided to stay home, in reality where else would I go anyway? I don't any motivation to do anything. It seemed as though Namjoon was reading off of my mood and decided that he didn't want anything to do with my company right now so he was out with his brother. At least I'd like to think it was really Jungkook. Who knows where he finds comfort in nowerdays.  
I had made a cup of tea a little while ago and it was on the table getting cold. Dispite the chilly weather I still decided to sit outside with it. The teabag had juiced out all of its colour and flavour into the lukewarm water around it. Osmosis at its finest I thought.  
About a few months ago I stopped taking milk with my tea. I use to never be able to do that. Namjoon was the one who had always done that. He liked his leaf soup plain. Even Jimin, liked his tea with milk. He also loved dipping his bread, nomatter what the components into his tea. PB&J, ham, cheese, nutella even tuna, he'd still dip it in his tea. I always found it so cute. My little ball of innocence and curiosity.  
I've told myself I wouldn't think of him like this. I'll cry again. I don't want to. It was around 5:30pm so I decide to head in and lock the sliding doors and windows. I should probably take a shower....then again I'm lazy to do it. I haven't been outside. I'm not sweaty. I decide to just change my pyjamas and go to bed and maybe read. I don't know. We'll see.  
After my wardrobe change I head to my room and lay on the bed. It's quiet.  
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Before I can reach over to the night stand to get my book, my phone rings. A sigh escapes me as I realise that it's all the way over in the kitchen. Reluctantly I pull myself up and search for it. It's vibrating on top of the counter. I answer it.  
"Hello?"  
There's a long pause. Soft rustling and...  
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"Papa?" A soft voice whimpers through the receiver.  
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To be continued. 3:)   
Thank you for reading!!!! Song Recommendation: UMI - Love Affair


	33. “Ow kook”

Chapter 33 (“Ow kook”)

Namjoon's pov  
"So what's new?" Jungkook asks as he sits on the lounge chair in the bar next to me. He'd just arrived and it was about 5:30pm in the late afternoon.  
I needed an excuse to get out the house. Jin was never in the right state of mind. Neither was I, rather neither am I but being around each other just makes that mood 10 times worse. So I rather give him space.  
The people who left the note haven't contacted us at all about Jimin, sometimes I think it's a hoax or people are just playing with this other people. However why? Thats what I can't understand. I can't comprehend who would want to hurt us like this. Nobody had any grudges against us, we got along with everyone. At least I think we do. But like I said... it could just be random and we just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but even so....the people who committed this crime followed us all the way here back home. Is it money I ask myself sometimes. Is it money they're after cause of my fathers small fortune.  
I've pleaded with Jin several times during the 3 weeks for us to call the police and tell them about what happened, but he just doesn't listen. He's stubborn.  
I understand that they told us not to call the police, but how are we even supposed to do this without professional help?  
It's crazy to even go in this alone. Simple like us dont know how to handle this. The force is the one that knows how to handle these things, they are the ones that carry the guns and that enforce the law.  
At the same time I understand where Jin is coming from. If Jimin is alive, I want him back so bad. But right now. I just don't know what to do I have no choice but to wait and just see.  
"Nothing's new. It's the same at as last time." I say with a sigh while taking a swing of the beer in my hand.  
"How's Seokjin doing?" Jungkook asks, taking the other unopened beer next to me.  
"You know how he is, the same as always. Moody, sad, depressed, angry you name it."  
"Well shouldn't you be home trying to make him feel better?"  
"I've tried that Kook. He's, he's just not the same now. Jin's lifeless. He's rarely happy. I can't even remember the last time I saw him smile now."  
Jungkook looks over at me sympathetically.  
"But anyway, me being here is giving him the space he needs and wants. He has a suspicion that I'm cheating on him but I'm not."  
"What? Why would he think that?" Jungkook asks in a surprised tone.  
Sheepishly I try to explain. "I came home really late one night and he saw some marks on my neck and called me out."  
"Go on." His voice was platonic and lacking trust.  
"Before you judge me, I was a little drunk."  
"Namjoon what the fuck? That's cheating."  
"No! I didn't sleep with her or anything." "HER??" Jungkook exclaims.  
"Yes, but listen to me..."  
"I am listening to you, I'm also trying to not punch you. Whatever you say next will decide whether I bust your lip or not."  
"Listen, listen. The girl that did this to me works where I work. A bunch of us decided to grab dinner. It ended up being more. We all went to a bar after and drank. Towards the end a lot of people began to leave until we were the only ones left. She came onto me. I told her to stop but that didn't happen. She insisted and started kissing my neck. I broke the news to her that I was married and she backed off. I was drunk Kook!" I finish.  
Jungkook sits there patiently clenching his fist. It was scary. I may be the eldest but Jungkook definitely had more muscle than me.  
And I was right to be scared because after a few seconds Jungkook leans over up and punches me in the shoulder.  
"Ow! Kook!" I complain.  
"That's for playing with Seokjin's feelings. He doesn't deserve that and you know it. He's already going through a lot, and I'm not saying you aren't as well. I know you both are but this is the wrong thing to do. You're adding onto his pain and it's unhealthy for the both of you."  
His words sunk in a little deep. Its true. I don't think I'm falling out of love with Seokjin, I'll always love him, always. And this must've hurt him a lot. He just walked away when we fought that night, like he couldn't take it, it was like he had enough. Thinking about it now I feel really suckish about it all. Seokjin might appear tough and independent but truthfully he relies on me a lot and I so much more.  
"You still with me Joon?" Jungkook asks after the weird awkward silence.  
"Yeah..." I respond still thinking.  
"Good." He says punching me again.  
"Hey, ow! What's with you and punching me."  
"It's a reminder."  
"Of what?"  
"Hurt my brother-in-law again and you will get hurt." He says with a grin as he finishes his beer.  
"So anyway, go home and appologise to your husband loverboy." He teases.  
I look down at my watch. This time says it's 5:45pm. It was a Sunday so the place was fairly empty.  
"Have another drink with me before you go."  
"Only if you're paying."  
"You damn cheapskate."  
"Hey you offered! By the way, have you talked to mom and dad lately?"  
"Yeah, she called me a few weeks ago, she calls all the time actually, dad called me recently too, you?  
"Sometimes. They call to ask me how you're doing mostly."  
"Hmm. Anyway so how's the relationship?"  
'Hell no we're not going there." Jungkook says dismissively.  
"Oh come on, I'm your brother."  
"Exactly!"  
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Thank you for reading! I appreciate it a lot!! Song recommendation: All i want - Olivia Rodrigo


	34. “Where?”

Chapter 34 (“Where?”)

Namjoon's pov  
I make my way out of the bar at around 5:55 pm. Jungkook only had two drinks and left; saying something about his partner calling him over or what not.  
The weather is gradually getting more chilly as night falls. I should get back to Jin and talk to him. We need to spend time together, Jungkook was right. We needed each other.  
I pull out of the lot and make my way home.  
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Seokjin's pov  
"Papa?" The voice is like silk through the receiver as it enters my ear. Soft and delicate. Completely innocent. A voice I knew too well. A voice I missed.  
I almost didn't believe it and the voice in my head told me to just brush it off and that I was imagining things. It can't be. It can't. It just can't.  
What did I hear? What was that? Then it happens again.  
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"Papa?" My tears fall immediately. My body goes numb, I can't feel my legs.  
"Jiminie!? Baby is this really you!? Where are-" A mixture of whines and other backgroud noises fill the receiver then it's replaced by silence again. Within the settlement of that silent a different voice speaks.  
"Kim Seokjin, if you-"  
"Who the hell are you!? Where's my son?" What kind of damn game was this? What was their angle?  
"Shut up! If you want your son come to the abandoned convenience store on Spring street with 50,0000 k with you, this is not a negotiation, either you come or he dies, simple. Call the cops and he dies. Bring your husband and he dies. Come alone."  
"Please dont hurt him. Please, please, please, please. Let me talk to to him please. I want to know if he's alri-" but before I can finish the line goes dead. My breathing goes haywire. I can't hear anything around me. I was crying uncontrollably and my head was starting to hurt. I don't care though. I had to get myself together and go meet those people.  
My hope of getting my baby back was becoming a reality. I need to think about what to do.  
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Namjoon's pov  
I'm almost home and is about to turn into the lane to the parking lot behind our building when a car speeds out of the driveway. The car's Jin's for sure. There's no denying that but where was he going? He barely leaves the house nowerdays, what could be so important. I can't see his face but something inside tells me to follow him. And I do.  
He makes his way further north, I can't even guess where he's even going. I'm not even aware he knew I was following with the way he was driving. Has he finally cracked?  
I take out my phone and decide to call him. He could be hurt and going to the hospital. We were on the same road to it. I didn't know what to think.  
I call him and wait for a responce. In the rear view I can see him look at his phone and discard it. What?  
I refrain from honking due to curiosity. Something in the back of my mind was telling me that this had something to do with Jimin. I didn't want to risk it, for all I knew people could be following him, the kidnappers even.  
I clutch my phone in my hand and pray that whatever was about to happen would not be the end of us all. Should I call the police? And tell them what? I'm following my husband up north to a location I didn't even know yet for whatever possible reason.  
Should I even be following. Jin didn't call me to say anything. Is this a bad idea? It seems like one... but I can't do anything else. What else am I suppose to do?  
Overthinking was pointless. I'd just have to see where he goes and what happens.  
Jin continues up north, violating way too many road regulations on the way. Something was definitely wrong. He turns left towards what I can describe as just a ditch and shaddy part of the town where most of the buildings were abandoned.  
Please just be safe. That's all I want.  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!!  
Song Recommendation: Flower Shower - HyunChapter 34 (“Where?”)

Namjoon's pov  
I make my way out of the bar at around 5:55 pm. Jungkook only had two drinks and left; saying something about his partner calling him over or what not.  
The weather is gradually getting more chilly as night falls. I should get back to Jin and talk to him. We need to spend time together, Jungkook was right. We needed each other.  
I pull out of the lot and make my way home.  
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.  
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Seokjin's pov  
"Papa?" The voice is like silk through the receiver as it enters my ear. Soft and delicate. Completely innocent. A voice I knew too well. A voice I missed.  
I almost didn't believe it and the voice in my head told me to just brush it off and that I was imagining things. It can't be. It can't. It just can't.  
What did I hear? What was that? Then it happens again.  
.  
.  
.  
"Papa?" My tears fall immediately. My body goes numb, I can't feel my legs.  
"Jiminie!? Baby is this really you!? Where are-" A mixture of whines and other backgroud noises fill the receiver then it's replaced by silence again. Within the settlement of that silent a different voice speaks.  
"Kim Seokjin, if you-"  
"Who the hell are you!? Where's my son?" What kind of damn game was this? What was their angle?  
"Shut up! If you want your son come to the abandoned convenience store on Spring street with 50,0000 k with you, this is not a negotiation, either you come or he dies, simple. Call the cops and he dies. Bring your husband and he dies. Come alone."  
"Please dont hurt him. Please, please, please, please. Let me talk to to him please. I want to know if he's alri-" but before I can finish the line goes dead. My breathing goes haywire. I can't hear anything around me. I was crying uncontrollably and my head was starting to hurt. I don't care though. I had to get myself together and go meet those people.  
My hope of getting my baby back was becoming a reality. I need to think about what to do.  
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Namjoon's pov  
I'm almost home and is about to turn into the lane to the parking lot behind our building when a car speeds out of the driveway. The car's Jin's for sure. There's no denying that but where was he going? He barely leaves the house nowerdays, what could be so important. I can't see his face but something inside tells me to follow him. And I do.  
He makes his way further north, I can't even guess where he's even going. I'm not even aware he knew I was following with the way he was driving. Has he finally cracked?  
I take out my phone and decide to call him. He could be hurt and going to the hospital. We were on the same road to it. I didn't know what to think.  
I call him and wait for a responce. In the rear view I can see him look at his phone and discard it. What?  
I refrain from honking due to curiosity. Something in the back of my mind was telling me that this had something to do with Jimin. I didn't want to risk it, for all I knew people could be following him, the kidnappers even.  
I clutch my phone in my hand and pray that whatever was about to happen would not be the end of us all. Should I call the police? And tell them what? I'm following my husband up north to a location I didn't even know yet for whatever possible reason.  
Should I even be following. Jin didn't call me to say anything. Is this a bad idea? It seems like one... but I can't do anything else. What else am I suppose to do?  
Overthinking was pointless. I'd just have to see where he goes and what happens.  
Jin continues up north, violating way too many road regulations on the way. Something was definitely wrong. He turns left towards what I can describe as just a ditch and shaddy part of the town where most of the buildings were abandoned.  
Please just be safe. That's all I want.  
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.  
.  
To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!!  
Song Recommendation: Flower Shower - HyunA


	35. Stubborn mouth

Chapter 35 (Stubborn mouth)  
Namjoon's pov  
Seokjin drives further away from the city until he pulls up near a, what seems to be an old abandoned convenience store. The place had caved through and the roof had fallen through so the whole place had caved in. He parks and gets out.  
He's wearing pyjama bottoms which convinces me that he rushed over here. I get out carefully and get closer. Not close enough for him to see me but close enough so that I can see him.  
He reaches towards the back and takes an all too familiar leather duffel bag. It's a bag we kept hidden the house ever since the incident happened. Seokjin had advised us to get it, the idea that is! We kept a handsome amount of emergency money in it incase something most probably like to this would happen.  
Seokjin walks towards the old place. It doesn't look like there's anybody in there but I follow steadily behind hidding myself.  
Behind the place, black cars are parked. I make my way to the side of the building so that I could see through the holes or listen. In all honesty my mind was lost, I wanted to call the police so bad but Seokjin's in there, he might get hurt and Jimin might be there.  
I had to just wait and see.  
He walks in there and stands for a moment. I see him check his phone. Soon after, two people walk in from the back. I can't see their faces well, they are wearing masks.  
"Are you sure you're alone?"  
"Yes, I am."  
"The money." One of them ask.  
"No, first my son." Jin retorts. I could tell by his voice that he was scared, very scared but he was trying to hold it together.  
"Do you really think you can negotiate with us? I said the money first."  
"And I said my son, I'm not giving you this until I see him alive and here infront of my eyes." Curse that stubborn mouth of his. Seokjin just give them the money, they're armed.  
The male on black clicks his tongue and mutters a small 'bitch'  
The woman next to him goes to the back and comes back later. She comes back carrying Jimin in her arms, my heart skips a beat. He's alive!  
"Papa!" He shrieks desperately. "Papa!!" He continues, trying to get out of the woman's grip and onto the floor. The remedy of his voice that had been long silenced comes back to my ears. It broke my heart so much.  
"Papa!" He cries again, tears coming down his cheeks.  
"Jiminie, Jiminie baby I'm here, I'm here." Jin's crying too at this point. "Let him go please. Here's your money." He says as he chucks the bag at the male.  
They let Jimin down and he runs towards Jin eagerly. Seokjin opens his arms and hugs him, picking him and crying so hard as he does. 'My baby' he repeats as he kisses his face repeatedly. Jimin snugs his face into the crook of his father's neck and hugs him tightly.  
The two other people count the money quickly and nod at each other. The man approaches Seokjin slowly.  
.  
.  
.  
A small click is heard suddenly.  
"Alright put him down now." The male says.  
My worst nightmare is happening. The male has a gun placed against Jin's head. Seokjin turns slowly, his face as scared as before. He's covering Jimin's eyes protectively.  
"What?" He says quietly.  
"Put the kid down!" He says agresively.  
Oh no, this is bad what the hell?  
"I don't understand. I gave you the money."  
"I SAID PUT THE KID DOWN RIGHT NOW." Jin slowly sets a whiney Jimin and looks towards the male in black.  
"Papa." Jimin utters quietly as he looks at the man holding the black weapon to Jin's head.  
"Calm down baby, papa's okay."  
"Why are you doing this, I already gave you the money in exchange for my son?" His voice is shaky.  
"Deals not done yet, walk this way." He gestures towards the back to where the cars were.  
What the hell?  
Jimin pulls on Jin pants as he's dragged to the back and clutches to it. He spins his little face around desperately and for a moment he turns towards me. Eyes locking, face tearing and my heart stops as he sees me.  
"DADDY!" He shrieks and runs towards me at the small little opening I was looking in from. 'Shit'  
Seokjin's head spins around at the sound of Jimin's cries and he spots me too. The two people see me as well.'Shit, fuck'  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!! Son recommendation: Gnarls Barkley- Crazy


	36. “I'd love to princess.”

Chapter 36 (“I'd love to princess.”)

Namjoon's pov  
"You bastard! You were followed." The male yells pushing at Seokjin's shoulder.  
I hurry and get up to move away from the spot. As I'm doing so I dial 911 and tell them about the situation quickly.  
I make my way around to the door that Jin walked in from and see the man still holding Jin at gun point. The woman is holding Jimin by the arms preventing him from coming to me.  
"The fuck did I tell you would happen if you brought him huh?" He yells.  
"No, no, please I didn't tell anyone. Don't hurt them please."  
"Namjoon." Jin utters quietly. It breaks my heart even more. I try approaching.  
"Don't you fucking move, I'll fucking shoot him."  
"Take it easy man-" I try.   
"Shut the fuck, this is none of your business, take the kid out back." The man says to his partner.  
"No!" Seokjin cries.  
"Papa!" Jimin cries even harder as the woman picks him up. He's kicking and screaming.  
"Why are you doing this? I already gave you your money!!! What did I ever do to you? Tell me!?" Seokjin begins, gritting him words as he did, tears were running down his face and he was red all over.  
The man remains silent. He takes out his phone and does something to it.  
"Answer me you asshole! What have we done to you that gives you the right to take my child away from me?" I can tell Seokjin's getting impatient.  
"I'll say it again for the last fucking time, shut the fuck or I'll kill you."  
"I don't fucking believe you. You would've done it already." Jin says edging his forehead closer into the guns mouth challenging the man.  
What the fuck was he doing? Jesus, him and his stubbornness. "Jin stop it."  
"Believe me I'd love to princess but this shit is bigger than you and me. So shut the fuck up."  
What the hell does he mean by that? Bigger than all of us? I feel so helpless and weak. My mind tells me to yank the gun out of his hand but I don't know how dangerous or skilled this man is. He could have other people here. More henchman or whatever. What do I do?  
His phone rings after a few seconds. He calls the woman back over and tells her to take the gun and watch us as he proceeds to talk on the phone.  
I can't quite make out what he's saying, I can hear bits and pieces.  
["Yes, he's here .. ......... what ?"]  
["What should I do, can't   
... .... tomorrow? ....no.......yes......"]  
Who is he talking to? What was all this?  
The lady that was holding the gun up looks at us wierdly. She didn't look intimidating like the other guy nor did she look like a criminal. I wonder if I could take her on and get the gun. However, they still have Jimin somewhere there. I couldn't take that chance. She looked oddly familiar though. I couldn't put my finger on it though.  
"How did you know I was here?" Jin whispers.  
"I saw you leaving the gate and followed-" "stop talking." She says. Her voice was barely even effective.  
The male comes back and yanks at Jin's shoulder. "Turn around." He says as he takes the gun away from the woman's hand.  
"Why? Where is my son?"  
"Just shut up and turn around."  
"No, fuck you. Where's my son?"  
The male raises his gun and hits Seokjin in the face making him utter a small sound of pain. He bends over and holds his check.  
"What the fuck." I run over and attempt to grab the weapon from his grip. I didn't anticipate his strength and boy was he fit.  
He grabs onto my arm and pushes me away by knocking the wind out of me. 'Fuck'  
"NAMJOON!" I hear Seokjin yell in worry as I fall to the ground. "Don't hurt him please." He pleades. The man comes over and asks me to get on my knees. I do as I'm told and he ties my wrists together. He ties Jin's as well.  
This was bad. We need to get out of here fast. Where's the damn police already? And where did they take Jimin? Probably out back to the cars.  
I need to think of a plan that gets both Jin and Jimin out safely. If I buy enough time then the police will have time to get here.  
I look over at Jin. He's looking towards the back to where they took Jimin. Worry on his face apparent, he then starts to speak.  
"We'll give you anything you want, whatever amount of money you want. Just name it." He doesn't budge or even look his way. "Name your price and we'll never speak of this again. Just let us go, let our son go."  
The man makes his way over again and grabs a hold of Seokjin's collar again. "Be quiet and walk, I won't say it again, this time I really will shoot you. As for you." He says pointing at me. "You are not to follow us unless you don't wanna see your family again."  
"Where are you taking them?"  
He doesn't answer and they walks away. Jin looks at me. The scare in his watery eyes was heartbreaking. I can't let this happened. I have to do something. I have to do something now. I didn't know what these people were capable of. They could kill them to cover up their tracks. Screw the cops. Jin was right they are useless.  
I stand up and charge directly at the man, he falls into a pit of metal scraps still holding onto his gun.  
"Run!" I yell at Jin. He starts running towards the back. The lady in the mask just stares at us, not doing anything. I ignore her. She didn't have a weapon.  
Two cars are parked out back and in one I can see Jimin's forehead pushed up against the glass. His face lights up as he sees us and he starts calling out to us. I didn't plan this well. Our hands were still tied behind our backs. What were we suppose to do now. That dude is most probably right behind us. Jin runs towards Jimin's car and I follow but before he could make it close a gun shot is heard and I see him fall to the ground.  
"JIN!"  
"PAPA!"  
The cries come from both of us. Seokjin's body falls forward, his head hitting the road until he's laying there on the concrete, still and motionless. 'No, no, no, no, no!"  
"JIN!" I run to him but someone holds me back. The same fucker. "Get off me." I struggle but he doesn't budge at all. My body freezes when I see red liquid seeping from Jin's body. At around his stomach to be more specific. "Fuck, no, no, no NO!"  
"JIN!"  
"ALRIGHT that's ENOUGH!" The male says before covering my face with a cloth. I try to not breathe in but I can't not. In record time my vision gets blurry.  
The last thing I see is Jimin in the car. His face terrified as he watches what's happening. My head falls to the side and in the last crack of sight I see Seokjin's lifeless body.  
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To be continued! 3:-) Thank you soo much for reading!  
Song recommendation: Let's hurt tonight - One republic


	37. Poking

Chapter 37 (Poking)

Namjoon's pov  
I feel awake but am I really? My arms; I could feel them, legs; I could feel them as well and my heart was beating as per usual. But opening my eyes was the tough bit. It's like I was aware of my surroundings but just couldn't bring myself to face them. Was I dead? Is this what death feels like.  
Poking, thats what I felt after a little while. It continues. To my cheek. More poking. What the hell? The poking happens one more time forcing me to break the wierd trance I was apparently in and open my eyes. I'm greeted with same darkness as before although this one feels real.  
I blink my eyes a few times adjusting to the new feeling, as I do I feel my body come alive. All the things I couldn't feel before comes back to me, like the fact that my jaw felt agitated and my head was spinning. Fuck!  
I attempt to raise it off the ground and succeed by sitting up straight.  
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"Daddy?" A small voice utters to my side. My body goes numb. Its freezes in place. What? I slowly turn my head towards the all to familiar voice and see Jimin standing next to me, his body folded into itself making himself small. He was scared and his tears were dried up onto his soft cheeks. I couldn't believe what I was seeing was real.  
"Daddy?" He repeats again this time holding his little arms out. I don't take him in instantly as I usual would do but just look at him, still in shock. It was dark out. There was nobody around where we were but the two of us.  
I hear a hiccups and a whimper from Jimin.  
"Daddiee" he says almost crying.  
Instinctively I hold him in my arms and stand. "Jiminie, oh my god. Are you okay?" I look him over and brush his hair out of his face to see if he wasn't hurt. He wasn't.  
"Are you alright baby? Does anything hurt?" He shakes his head slowly as he clutches onto my shirt collar.  
He was trembling either from being scared or from the cold weather.  
How long have I been asleep? How long has he been waiting for me to get up....another thought cascades its feelings though my mind faster than lightning itself.  
Where is Seokjin? He was passed out on the floor when I lost consciousness and Jimin was in the car about to be taken away but he's here. Oh god what happened?  
The trembling boy in my arms brings me out of my thoughts. I make my way back through the deserted store and to my car, placing Jimin in as and turning on the heat to get him warm.  
Meanwhile my head was revolving around a tornado. What the hell had happened. I wanted to know where Jin was? What had happened? Weren't they going to take Jimin away? Why is he here?  
I lean on the car and think. What should I do now? I called the police before, did they just never show up? I looked at the little toddler lying on the back seat and knew I had to take care of him first before anything else.  
I drove home and gave him a quick shower, dressed him in some warm clothes, fed him something and lay him down to sleep. He passed out real quick. After that I got myself together and repeated the same process on myself.  
After Jimin woke up I asked him how he was and checked whether he could remember anything.  
"Jiminie baby this is very important so I need you to listen okay baby?"  
He nods his head slowly.  
"Do you know what happened after daddy went to sleep?"  
He shakes his head.  
"Do you know the people that took you?"  
Another head shake.  
"What about papa? Do you know what happened to him?"  
He hesitates. "The lady took him away in the car and- and told me to sit and wait."  
"Where? Do you know where?"  
He shakes his head again.  
"Come on Jimin, think please, think!" I realise I'm raising my voice at him as the boy flinches.  
"I'm sorry baby." I say scooping him up in my arms before he starts to cry. "It's just really important." He shakes his head in my neck and I could tell he was mentally just exhausted. Poor baby, I don't even know where he's been all this time and with those awful people. Who knows what they've done to him. Who? Why?  
I try not to think about what I saw on the concrete before passing out. I need to be strong and optimistic for Jin and Jimin. I hug the boy closer to my chest sitting down on the sofa with him trying to keep my tears in. Jimin falls asleep again.  
Jin can't be- no. They took him. They'll probably want another ransom. I need to get that ready and- and I need to uh- I need to report Jimin's find to the police.  
That night I couldn't sleep a wink. At all! My mind wandered haunting me so much. The only thing that kept me sedated enough to shut my eyes for 5 minutes was the fact that Jin would've wanted to me to take care of Jimin first. That's what he would've done, its what he would want me to do.  
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To be continued! Thanks for reading.   
Song Recommendation: (before I tell ya'll it, let me take a moment to say how much I FREAKING adore this song, I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do) I've told you - Sam Smith


	38. Deja vu

Chapter 38 (Deja vu)

Namjoon's pov  
After rectifying Jimin's case and opening up a case for Seokjin I called my parents and brother to tell them as well. They told me that they would be flying over and Jungkook came over a few hours ago to see us.  
I can't shake the feeling that deja vu was riding hard up my ass yet again. I just went through the same process I went through a few months ago, only this time, I was extremely lonely and twice as sad. I'm not saying when they took Jimin I wasn't as worried but this was different. My support system was gone and I didn't know where he was or how to find him. I didn't even know whether he was alive. I'm clueless.  
I had to wait again. For a sign. For a clue, just like last time. It was a lot to take in. I gain one and lose the other. What have I ever done to deserve this?  
Granted it had only been a few hours since the incident but I am agitated. Jimin has been sleeping for so long and I'm terrified of him waking up again because I know when he does he'll ask me a question that I won't be able to answer. I wasn't ready for that.  
Jungkook stands in the kicthen while making some lunch. I'm not in the mood to cook anything or eat so him volunteering saves me the trouble.  
"Hyung, come eat." He calls out to me.  
We sit at the table and I take too bites out of the spaghetti and feel like vomiting. I rush to the bathroom and dispose of it all in the toilet. It burned as it went down. The red pasta sauce that fell into the water at the bottom of the toilet bowl was not a pleasant sight in comparison. I couldn't not picture what I had seen earlier. It was fresh in my memory.  
"Hyung!" I hear Jungkook yell. "Are you okay? What happened"  
I stand up, flush the toilet and wash my hands and mouth. Jungkook stands next to me looking at my state not saying a word. My reflection in the mirror was deplorable. Nothing was happy about my face. My hair was unkept, lips chapped and bags under my eyes.  
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Later at around the late evening mom and dad arrive. They start asking questions, predictively. And go see Jimin who was still sleeping.  
We all sit in the living room and talk about everything. I wasn't too fond of it. I wanted this to be over and done with. No more waiting no long stretched out agony filled thoughts. I just wanted my other baby back.  
"Son how are you doing, what did the police say?" Dad asks.  
I let out a sigh "They opened a case for it and are investigating the crime scene."  
"You didn't answer my other question."  
"Do you think I want to fucking answer it dad?"  
"Namjoon!" Mom steps in. "Don't talk to your father like that?" Another sigh. "We know you're suffering and were here for you Joonie." The nickname she uses cuts through me like a freshly sharpened blade.  
"That's right Namjoon, we're here and we'll find Seokjin." The mere mention of his name was hurtful. It hurt so much. Why? Cause I had a small shread of denial that this was final. Permanent!  
My feelings were eating me up and it felt awful.  
We talked for a while but then mom and dad went to bed in the guest bedroom. Jungkook decided to stay over too. He had gone for shower. It was amazing how this wasn't affecting them as much as it was affecting me. I felt broken. I could sense the sadness coming off of Jungkook but it would never be the same.  
I decide to sit outside so that I could be alone. Jin loved sitting on the balcony whenever he had tea and Jimin and him would sit out here together for Saturday breakfast when it was sunny.  
A small hand touches my dangling arm. I turn around and see Jimin standing there with his blanket held around him. A slight smile forms on my face.  
"What are you doing out of bed baby? It's late." I say picking him up and putting him in my lap.  
He shivers a little and I wrap the blanket more around him making sure to cover his face a little.  
"Did you have a nightmare?" He nods his head.  
"It's okay baby, I'm here." I say pulling him into my chest.  
"Daddy?"  
"Yes?"  
"Where's papa?"  
The clutch my heart makes forces my lungs to stop taking in air. I knew it was coming sooner or later but I don't think I was prepared for it. What do I say now?  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!! Song recommendation: Life support - Sam Smith (this song though!) Download the whole 'In the lonely hour' album you won't regret it.


	39. Denial

Chapter 39 (Denial)

Namjoon's pov  
A week later  
"Where's papa?" Jimin screams for the fourth time that morning. "Jimin, be quiet it's very early. You'll wake up Mrs.Yun next door"  
He quiets down and I put him on a chair so that he can have his breakfast.  
I've never been able to answer that question properly if I'm being honest. I just brush it off cause I also don't know. Sometimes I just tell him papa's coming back later and it satisfies him for a few hours.  
The investigation was still ongoing. The police found traces of the blood in the parking lot behind the building as well as some samples of weapons and a glove and were trying to trace the people who took Seokjin. I have a lot of hope that they'll find him. Then those low lives can be put into prison forever.  
In the meantime I had to wait. A few times during the week I'd go down to the station to answer some questions or give them sample pictures. And each time I go there they tell me something more about traces of the car I had described or news about potential leads.  
Mom and dad were still around, they kept Jimin entertained, well not exactly... they distracted the boy for a while and it seems to work and I wasn't complaning.  
I didn't think it's wise to send Jimin to school just yet and mom and dad agree as well.  
For now, we had to pace ourselves.  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!!  
Song recommendation: Now or Never - SF9


	40. Anger

Chapter 40 (Anger)

Namjoon's pov  
6 months later  
"Where's papa!?" Jimin screams at the top of his lungs as I walked through the house from work. It's been a rough day at work. My head's been in an awful headspace and all I wanted was to just sit down and close my eyes. I didn't want to talk nor did I want to think.  
I had left Jimin at Jungkook's apartment for the day because he had the day off and agreed to watch Jimin.  
A sigh escapes my body, I don't want to deal with this right now. I set him down and walk past him and go to my room to change. Jimin follows suit. "Daddy!" He whines.  
"Daddy!" He continues to whine again this time coming to hug my leg.  
"Daddyyyy?"  
"Jimin inside voices please, daddy's changing!" I warn at the little boy.  
He looks down and waits for me to change. "But you don't answer."  
I close my eyes again. Trying to pace myself and retain my composure. It's been six long months and I get asked that question every single day  
EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! I can't answer it cause I still don't know either. It made me so frustrated.  
Mom and dad left to go back because they had to take care of the business. The police looked as if they were steadily giving up on the case. They hadn't come up with any leads and I was starting to get very angry at their lack of effort. The people who had taken Jin haven't come forward as well. There were no signs and I didn't know what to do. It was hard to even understand a 6 monthe ago there were so many leads.  
"Do you want food?" I ask to Jimin.  
"No!" He says stubbornly.  
"Fine, don't eat anything then!" I shout a little making Jimin flinch. I walk over to my bed and flop down onto it.  
"But daddy!" He says.  
"Jimin go play, leave daddy alone, can't you!" I yell at the boy.  
"But why isn't papa coming home?"  
The fuel inside me burns my chest and makes me latch out.  
"STOP ASKING ME THAT AND GO PLAY!" I yell out scaring him. The boy begins to cry his lungs out and runs away into the other room.  
'Great'  
Sometimes I think I can't handle this alone. Yes, he's my son and I should be able to take care of him by myself but I can't handle this alone. I really can't. I miss Jin so much. He'd know what to do in an instant. Like I said my support system was gone. I felt so lonely. So, so lonely. A big part of my life was missing. It made me furious that I can't do anything about it.  
Jimin acts up all the time and sometimes all I want to do is act up too and that makes me scream at him in responce. He gets on my nerves easily. While everybody; my co-workers, my brother, my parents try to avoid the topic Jimin cuts straight into the wound.  
Sometimes I just think I need time alone. To think and heal. I just wished they'd bring him back. Whoever they are.  
I try to fall asleep but can't. This bed is just mocking me. The quiet sniffles coming from somewhere in the house just made it all the hard to close my eyes.  
I get up to go look for him. I open his bedroom and see him at the foot of his bed next to the wall. His face was in his arms and his knees to his chest.  
I can't believe I did that. I'm horrible.  
I walk up to him and pick the crying ball up into my arms. As if on cue he latches onto my chest tightly hiccuping his tears. He cries and cries and cries more. I rub his back soothingly trying to calm him down.  
"Daddy's sorry." Silent tears glide down my cheeks as if they couldn't hold themselves in place anymore.  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading.  
Song recommendation: SHOOT ME - DAY6


	41. Bargaining

Chapter 41 (Bargaining)

Namjoon's pov  
1 year later  
"It's just for a little while alright."  
"No!" Jimin wails with a death grip to my collar.  
"Don't you want to spend some time with granmama and granpapa."  
"No!" He says stubbornly.  
We were outside the airport. It was a Sunday and my mom and brother were watching Jimin and I squabble over him staying with my parents for a little bit. I'd decided it's best if he gets away from all of what's happening here at the moment and spend a little time away from this place. Only for a little while. I hadn't told him about it until today and as expected his reaction wasn't pleasant.  
Truthfully I couldn't bare to look at him cry and be sad all the time. It had been a whole year and still no news on Seokjin's whereabouts. Nothing at all, zilch!  
This time away from this place would be good for Jimin. It is what's best for him. That's what I believe....well, that's what I tell myself.  
The underlying fact would be that I couldn't handle that kind of pressure anymore. Not the pressure of raising my son but rather, the pressure of his questions and his mood. Jimin would get depressed, he wouldn't eat properly or at all, sometimes I'd find him sleeping in my bed on Jin's side and it would just brake my heart into a thousand pieces.  
I didnt think it would be possible for a 5 year old to get depressed but lo and behold it happens. Everything Jimin did reminded me of Seokjin. He takes after him a lot. They way he eats, walks, talks, argues, sighs....everything. It's painful.  
So I figured sending him off to my parents was the right thing to do.  
"Just for a little while okay?" I try to soothe.  
"I want to stay with you."  
"You'll come see me very soon don't worry."  
"What if papa comes back? I don't want to go with granmama." The mere mention of that word makes my breath hitch.  
"Jimin, the tickets are already paid for, nomatter what you say you'll still have to go."  
"No..." he says softly, he was going to start crying I knew that before it could even happen.  
"Just for a little while baby." I pick him up and hand him to mom.  
"No!!! Daddy!!!" He cries reaching out to me trying to get out of mom's grip. It was a hard to thing to watch but it was for the best. Only for a little while. Just for a little while.  
"DADDY!!" He cries even louder.  
"Jiminie, we're going to have fun don't worry. Granpapa is going to take you to the beach."  
Jimin pushes against his grandmother's chest and pleads for her to let him go.  
"Don't worry love, we'll take care of him. I know it's hard but take your time. Kookie look over him will you."  
"Yeah mom." Jungkook replies waving the two away, I do the same until they dissapear into the building.  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jungkook questions as we get into his car.  
"Yes. For the both of us."  
Jungkook nods slowly as he drives out into the street. "I'm worried about you. Are you sure you're alright?"  
"I'm fine Kook. I just need time."  
"Call me for anything alright and take care of yourself you heard what mom said."  
"I will." I say as Jungkook pulls into the driveway.  
"Alright. See you."  
"Bye Kook."  
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That night was hell for me. I couldn't sleep properly. A memory came haunting me. And the guilt set in dramatically.  
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"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
"Ji-"

"Promise me Joonie."  
"I do but why are you saying such a thing now?"

"Nothing for you to worry about. I'm fine. I'm just saying that if a situation like that were to happen that's what i would want you to do. Never leave him, give him love and teach him nomatter how hard it is. He's a smart little bean I can feel it."  
"You know, you saying all of these things just stresses me out more."   
"You know what let's make a promise."  
"Really? You're such a dork."

"I promise to never leave you."

"... And I promise we'll always be together."  
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The dream woke me up in a cold sweat. It was dripping down my face and my back. I was in my room alone, the side to my left still bare and empty. It's raining heavily and the windows were creaking due to the strong wind.  
"Jin you promised..." I say to no one in particular. A stray tear rolls down my cheek and falls onto my wrist.  
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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!  
Song recommendation: I Need somebody - Day6


	42. Depression

Chapter 42 (Depression)

Namjoon's pov  
8 months later! In total it's been 20 months, a year and 8 months. It doesn't feel like that, it feels longer but if I'm being completely honest I couldn't even care less about the time. Nothing made sense now. My thoughts are my worst enemy and overthinking is my hobby.  
My days are spent at work, I drown myself in them in order to stop myself from straying away to the awful thoughts killing me from the inside. The nights are harder. I take up overnight shifts whenever they're available but on the days when there aren't any I just go out to bars or casinos to avoid going home.  
Jimin is still at my parents house. I haven't seen him in real life since he left, we face time each other and I check up on him. He seems to be better. I think. Mom says he doesn't speak a lot to them and stays inside all the time which is worrying but I don't want Jimin to come to this kind if environment I'm in. It's not healthy.   
It's better if he's away and safe.  
Jungkook tries to cheer me up sometimes but It doesn't really work. People at work have noticed my change in behaviour but they don't dare to say anything about it.  
I drive out to a club that doubles as a sports bar, taking the longer way so that I wouldn't have to look at the house on my way there. After arriving I order a whiskey with ice and just sit in a corner. The usual! There are TVs on the walls, I'm thankful for that; distractions.  
In that all too brief moment however my mind fails to get lost in whatever was showing on the television, instead it begins to think; a very bad thing.  
Thoughts of that day start to replay in my mind. Seokjin falling after being shot, Jimin watching his dad fall to the ground and laying there on the cold ground. The blood. It was all too much to take in, let alone process and be reminded of it everyday. Sometimes I think they really killed him. It's gruesome to think about but why haven't they come back and demanded money? Is Jin dead? What do I tell Jimin if that's so. How do I even face him, how are we suppose to function?  
I wish I didn't ask him to run, if I could turn back time I'd have taken the shot without a second thought. I would've made sure they'd be safe. But I can't, I failed....I failed Seokjin, I failed Jimin as well.  
I wish we never took the trip to even go to my parents' and I wish we never went to that park. Why weren't we looking and paying attention. Why did I have to go and get icecream. Why?  
I promised to always keep him safe and protect him from any danger, I promised to look out for our son and always be there for him, I promised to never leave him. I broke our marriage vows, all of them! Without him here I'm practically nothing, life decreases in purpose. I need him more than ever now, what should I do Jinnie? I can't survive without you, it's too painful. I miss him so much. So, so much.  
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To be continued. Thank u so much for reading.  
Song recommendation: We are Young - Fun (most of ya'll know it but it's still nice to have in your playlist) if u already have it...here; Moral of the story - Ashe


	43. Acceptance

Chapter 43 (Acceptance)

Namjoon's pov  
I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. I could feel that it wasn't that early but still the sun was up and who the hell would be calling at this time. Messily, I try to reach over and grab the device but to no ones shock it falls off and onto the carpet. Great.  
I pick it up before it can stop.  
"Hello?"  
"Mr.Kim, it's officer Hwan from the HQ." At the sound of his voice my body flings upwards sitting myself up and clutching the phone to my face.  
"The chief would like you to come down as soon as possible if that's a possibility." He says. He spoke in a monotone voice, making it impossible to even tell his mood.  
"Yes, I can, ofcourse. Is it news about my husband? Have you found him?"  
"Sorry sir but I'm just passing on the message, the chief is the one asking for you. However he stressed on the urgency of your presence."  
"Yes, yes ofcourse. Thank you." I hang up and hurry to get dressed and in less than 10 minutes I am out the door.  
I don't know what to expect, please let it be that they found him or that the ransom deal was being requested."  
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I get to the station in record time. The people at the desk recognize me immediately, they give me a small smile and gesture me to head out back.  
I'm jittery but I'm also anxious. I try preparing myself mentally and focus. This is important. Officer Hwan asks me to wait and a few minutes later the chief walks out and beckons me to his office.  
"Good morning Mr.Kim. Please take a seat." He says gesturing to the chair infront of his messy desk. Papers, files and cases adorned it.  
"Good morning sir. So is there a-" he cuts me off by holding his hand up.  
"Mr.Kim, I do have news however..." he trails off. His face practically said it all. Even if I practically knew what he was going to say I needed to know.  
"What? What happened?" I lean forward desperately.  
He opens a random file from his table and slides it towards me. "Unfortunately, the investigation came to an end yesterday. It was reported by locals that there was a car accident whereby the same vehicle from the night of the kidnapping of your husband was found wrecked at the side of the highway. We investigated the scene and confirmed that your husband was infact in the car being held hostage. Locals and bystanders confirmed the description of the male identical to Kim Seokjin. The body was severely damaged, two other people; which most likely are from the same crime conducted last year were also identified at the scene. Female with blond hair and male on his late 30s."  
I absorb everything he was saying and try not to act shocked. What did you expect Namjoon? The pictures in the file are gruesome. The car is identical to the one I saw that day.  
"Wait- how can we be certain it was him in the car?"  
The chief sighs. "I knew you might ask that but the dozens of witnesses' descriptions match Mr.Kim. We did our fair share of investigating and checked every available camera in the vicinity that could capture the photo." I turn over the page and sure enough I see Jin in the back seat. It was off of his side profile but I could tell it was him. Shutting the file ans tossing it on the desk I rake my hands through my hair furiously. What did you expect Namjoon? I slide my hands over my face and close my eyes. What did you expect Namjoon?  
"We also recovered this from the crash. It was in a box in the back along with some money, the money wasn't salvagable."  
He slides a small yellow envelope my way. I open it and take it out. My tears can't hold themselves in anymore. They fall slowly and sadly onto my cheeks.  
Undoubtedly it was Seokjin's. It matched the band I was wearing on my finger to perfection. The small silver band was burned a little on one side and the word 'Yours' was covered with soot. If you put the bands next to each other the words Yours and Mine stood aligned with each other. Seokjin had a necklace for Jimin identical to the style and it went together with the two rings, forming a complete set. He decided on getting Jimin a necklace rather than a ring so he wouldn't lose it easily. His had the words 'Ours' engraved into it. I couldn't look at the piece of jewellery right now. It's too much.  
What would I tell Jimin. How do I explain this.  
"Mr.Kim are you alright."  
I look up him. Really? Of all the questions.  
"I'm fine." I say instead.  
"You may keep that copy of the file. I would just like to let you know that this will be broadcasted on the news however I wanted you to know beforehand. I wish you and your son well." He says in a calm but also dismissive way. I can't blame him... this had nothing to do with him, he was just doing his job.  
"Thank you." I say simply and walk out and head home. Back to that hell hole full of mocking memories where I can cry my eyes out alone.  
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The next day I wake up to the sound of the knocking on the door. 'Really' i sigh in annoyance and get up to get it.  
"I've been calling you, mom's been calling, dad's been calling you for hours...we thought something had happened to you Namjoon!" Jungkook says busting through the door as soon as I unlocked.  
He quiets down once he looks at me.  
I turn around to walk back around but he grabs me by the arm and pulls me in an embrace. That does it and I let go once more falling to my knees with Jungkook holding me.  
I can feel him crying as well. He rubs my back and holds my body closer.  
"Let go." He says softly.  
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The next few days were awful for me. I couldn't sleep properly. Things pissed me off and I was just genuinely sad. I was lonely. The reality setting in really took a toll on me. It was like when we lost Jimin but this time the reality was proven and it is fact. I had to live with that. With the thought of losing my life partner, the person I gave my world to, throught sickness and health...my soulmate.  
I wondered what I should even do now. Go on and live as if everything is alright? What would Seokjin do? He always knows what to do, well, he did.  
I'm preparing for bed when something catches my eye. The stuffed yellow dog toy Jimin always had next to him was lodged at the back of the side table of the bed. I pull it out and take it in my hand. Jimin hadly played with this anymore. Ever since Seokjin passed, he'd never play with his beloved doll. I can still remember when he bought that for him. The stuffed doll brings back memories I had contained way down in my subconscious. One distinctive phrase kept repeating in my mind.  
"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
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"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
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"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
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"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
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"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."  
What have I done!? I'm breaking my promise, Jimin was the only thing apart from me that Seokjin cared about. He'd hate me for this.  
I head back to my room and call my mom immediately.  
"Hello dear, are you feeling better?"  
"I'm not sure how to answer that to be honest."  
"It's okay, It's hard I know, although I never truly made my peace with Seokjin in the past I would've never wished this upon him." She says sadly.  
"I know mom..." I trail off.  
"So love, you called for a reason, yes? Do you want to talk to Jimin?"  
"How is he doing?"  
"He's alright, he's in his room right now."  
"Well I wanted to talk to you about bringing him back home."  
She sounds a little shocked. "Are you sure sweetheart? Isn't it too soon? We are okay with taking care of him until you're ready."  
"I'm sure mom, he should be with me." And I should be with him. He's my son, I care about him and Seokjin would've wanted that. He always knew what was best. He'd want us to be together.  
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Two days later I stand at the airport waiting for the plane to land. It takes a while for the flight to dock. After a while I see my mother walking towards me with Jimin holding her hand. As he gets closer I can see his pokerface staring up at me. He looks off I can tell.  
I expected him to run to me like he ususually would but this time he just looks up staring at my face.  
My mom waves to me and greets me. I crouch down to his level and look at him. He doesn't speak or react in the usual way Jimin would. I look to my mom and she shrugs as though saying it's normal.  
"Hey bud. You okay?" He slowly nods in response.  
I could tell he wasn't going to say anything else so I just chat to my mom, she had another flight back to catch so I walked her to the departure gate and kissed her goodbye.  
Jimin is still standing next to me as I wave her goodbye. He doesn't.  
I take his bag and put it on my back then bend forward and pick him up. He instantly latches onto me and holds his grip in space. That was a normal reaction. The first since he's come back. I hug him back as well. Somehow I didn't need to ask why. I knew, I knew he wasn't happy that I made him stay with his grandparents. I know that he missed me judging by the way he started to cry softly. And in that moment I knew I needed him as much as he needed me. We needed each other. We would make it.  
"I'll be here for you nomatter what." I say as I stroke his hair. He grabs onto me tighter and we walk out of the airport.  
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When we get home I open the door for Jimin and I decide to not waste any time and do what I have to do. We walk to the living room.  
He seems to be reacting better than he was at the airport. His mood looks better.  
"Baby come here. I want to talk to you about something." He walks up to me and sits on the couch, his socks were were a baby blue colour and he couldn't stop playing with it.  
"Jimin... I need to tell you something." He looks up at me and gives me his attention, putting me on the spot in doing so. "It's about... papa."  
His face turns into a frown and he lowers his head. "Are you going to send me to granmama again if I ask you about papa again?"he says quietly.  
What he says shocks me. Is that what he's been thinking all this time?  
"No, no, no, no Jiminie, that's not the reason I-. I did that cause...I, daddy was-" I take a breath.  
"Jiminie, daddy made you go stay with granmama cause daddy was not okay."  
"Are you sick?" He asks, his chubby cheeks were pouting his lips making him all that innocent.  
"Not really, daddy just needed to be alone for a little while to think. And I sent you to granmama and granpapa so that you wouldn't be sad."  
"But I-"  
"Wait baby, let me finish. Papa is not coming back." Probably not the wisest words to say to a 5 year old but I had to tell him."  
"Why?" He asks quietly.  
"He got into an accident and can't come back."  
"Why can't we go get him in the car."  
"It's not like that sweety. He had a bad accident and hurt himself a lot. He will never be able to come back home. He left to be in the sky and when he's there he'll look over you everyday. Papa loves you very much and so does daddy, okay." At this point I was tearing up. It wasn't an easy thing to do. Not even close. I feel like I'm messing things up.  
A small sniffle from Jimin echoes though the room and I immediately take him into my arms, he cries silently onto my shoulder making my heart ache all the more.  
"I love you and papa will always love you too. We'll always look out for you. Don't you ever forget that okay?"  
He nods into my shoulder and continues to cry.  
I hope I did well. Seokjin would be proud. I know he would and I hope that he's looking down onto us. We'll get through this.  
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To be continued. This was a long AF chapter *sighs* but anyway thanks for reading!!! I appreciate you all. This is the end of the first book! I will be publishing the second book later on so watch out for that!!!  
Song recommendation: Let's Fall in Love For The Night - FINNEAS


	44. Thank You!

Author's Note 

Hi readers, I'd just like to thank you for reading my book. I hope you liked it. Drop a comment and tell me your thoughts if you want!

This is only part one of my series, I will be posting part 2 very soon, so look out for that! Regular updates a usual! 

Follow me on Twitter, Insta, Tumblr, Facebook, Tiktok and especially Wattpad. I post there regularly!!! Just dm me, I answer! @Dulltat Kim


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